So I wanted this to be the month that I conceived. I wanted it so bad! I ovulated around my birthday (last weekend) and it would have been the perfect birthday present! Too bad I was too tired to have sex. I think my boyfriend is getting frustrated too. I'm working 40 hours a week at my new full time job, plus I'm still working between 3 to 5 shifts a week at my waitressing job. I wish I could give up the server gig, but I need the money, especially if I'm trying to save up some extra cash for when there's a brand new baby around the house.
If I work a dinner shift at the restaurant after an 8 hour day in the office (8.5 hrs if you include lunch) I won't get home until 9:30 or 10 at the earliest. Then I still have to eat dinner (usually takeout that I picked up on the way home), prepare for tomorrow and unwind a little bit. When it's all said and done we're usually in bed around 11 or midnight. Then even if I have a little bit of energy left over all I can think about is my alarm going off in 6 hours or less! It's the worst feeling in the world. I already have the "failure as a mother" feelings since I can't even muster up enough energy to conceive the poor child plus I know my boyfriend wants to do the baby dance more than the once a week we are managing to make it happen.
To make matters worse I end up salting my pillow a little with a few pre-sleepy time tears when I think about how badly I want this baby and how pathetic I feel that I can't even complete the very first step down the road to baby. It's the worst cycle of self-loathing I think I've ever been in, and let me tell you, I've been in a few of them.
Another thing I should mention while on this topic is that I am probably the least aggressive sex fiend out there. I want to do it all the time, I think about it all the time, but I am so scared of making a wrong move and turning my boyfriend off that I can't bring myself to initiate anything. Let's face it, I'm just a big pile of pathetic and it's not going to get any better unless I make it happen. Boo.
Submitted by KristenK86 on Sun, 11/28/2010 - 17:34.
Hey hey hey...don't beat yourself up! If your boyfriend is trying to make a baby with you, then of course he loves you and you don't need to worry about turning him off...embrace your sexuality! There is no better way to get pregnant! it took my husband and I five months to get pregnant, and by the fifth month I was like "screw it, it's not happening" and we only had sex ONCE and bingo! We got pregnant! My point: relax, take your time, it will definitely happen, just not right away. And when you DO get pregnant and you hold that baby in your arms, you will be so glad it happened right when it did otherwise you wouldn't have your little sweetheart!
Submitted by Jess616... on Sat, 10/16/2010 - 15:16.
Oh jeez don't be so hard on yourself!!!! Guilt is the worst thing to have ever it is the reason you are having so much trouble. Bite your lip put on some skimpy boy shorts and a tank top and sacrifice 15 min. of sleep. After all when there's a baby your bf will have seen you at your worst anyway. If he loves you what is there to worry about and if he is judgmental towards you sexually you don't want or need him. And as for 6 hrs. of sleep I have a four year old and attend nursing school 40 or more hours a wk. while working part time. I'm lucky to get 5-6 hrs. still. Does the bf not work? You are obviously a strong woman. Everything will work out.
Comments
Hey hey hey...don't beat yourself up! If your boyfriend is trying to make a baby with you, then of course he loves you and you don't need to worry about turning him off...embrace your sexuality! There is no better way to get pregnant! it took my husband and I five months to get pregnant, and by the fifth month I was like "screw it, it's not happening" and we only had sex ONCE and bingo! We got pregnant! My point: relax, take your time, it will definitely happen, just not right away. And when you DO get pregnant and you hold that baby in your arms, you will be so glad it happened right when it did otherwise you wouldn't have your little sweetheart!
Keep your chin up!
Oh jeez don't be so hard on yourself!!!! Guilt is the worst thing to have ever it is the reason you are having so much trouble. Bite your lip put on some skimpy boy shorts and a tank top and sacrifice 15 min. of sleep. After all when there's a baby your bf will have seen you at your worst anyway. If he loves you what is there to worry about and if he is judgmental towards you sexually you don't want or need him. And as for 6 hrs. of sleep I have a four year old and attend nursing school 40 or more hours a wk. while working part time. I'm lucky to get 5-6 hrs. still. Does the bf not work? You are obviously a strong woman. Everything will work out.