Tristine's Triumph -- Entry 17

Read All of Tristine's Triumph

November 27

Yesterday I had to go to the doctor's appointment by myself. I didn't like the idea because I feared the worse. My husband wasn't able to attend due to a work situation he could not get out of, especially since he is taking the rest of the week off for when I get the stitch in.

I had the ultrasound first. I had to do breathing exercises as I waited for the tech to get in the room. I would have had a panic attack if I had not taken the time to try to relax. It seemed like it took forever for the technician return. I looked about the room which seemed faded in a sense...almost as if it was on the verge of a dream.

I avoided looking at anything that had pictures of babies or moms or pregnancy ladies. I couldn't help but stumble upon thoughts about the cerclage but I let them go to focus on my breathing. 100 breaths later, the technician returned.

I was having a hard time shaking the fear I have about not finding a heartbeat but I just laid there still as can be, eyeing the TV display for any signs of life. I could not tell that the baby was moving.

I asked the technician about the heartbeat right away and she put it up on the display for me! There it was. The heartbeat sounding strong 169 beats per minute. She measured my cervix, which is at 3cm.

I was excited to see the little one just moving around so much. I was 12 weeks and 2 days according the ultrasound.

It was time to discuss the stitch. I went in the room and talked with the doctor. I carried in the records I had requested, my list of questions, and a coffee tin I had been filling up with my needles from the heparin syringes. The doctor and nurse laughed when they saw I wrote biohazard on the container! I told them I wanted to make sure people kept their fingers out of it at home!

The meeting with the doctor was rather quick. I asked him all my questions, which he was smiling, because I only had a few questions this time, not like my 27-question fax he had! I have been good at writing down all my questions before I get to the doctors and I take notes when I talk to him. With as paranoid as I can be at times, this works really well at remembering what he says and remembering what questions to even ask. And the questions were relatively easy to answer. He told me he would try to put in 2 stitches. I have some concern that he is using a monofilament stitch. I had thought it would be more like a flat ribbon then a round string.

When I asked about bedrest, I was rather concerned about my doctor's response. He said he now sees no reason why I should be on bedrest. Of course, for a few days after the surgery I should take it easy, but the only restrictions he gave me were no heavy lifting, no intercourse, and no strenuous exercise. I recognize that not everyone needs bedrest, but wouldn't it be better to play it safe for at least one day, then to risk complications? I don't know. Maybe I am just being paranoid. As I am leery of his response, I should just wait and see how I feel after the procedure.

Since the surgery was 2 days away, they needed some tests run on my blood. The doctor sent me on my way with a real disposal unit. It has a cool biohazard sticker on it! From his office, I needed to go across the street and get pre-admitted to the surgery center. They drew my blood to run a clotting test since I am on the heparin. They also discussed the use of anesthesia and some thing about what to expect at the surgery center. I told them I have a hard time coming out of anesthesia so they reminded me to come in earlier then 11 so that I may have plenty of time to talk with the anesthesiologist.

So now it is Tuesday. I have less then 24 hours to get my house in order so that my husband doesn't have to worry about anything. And in 14 hours, I cannot have anything more to eat or drink until after the surgery. I think that will be the hardest part for me. Not being able to have breakfast in the morning to alleviate the nausea! The doctor told me to only take the heparin shot and all other medicine can wait until after the surgery.

I would be nervous about it but I have been through surgery more times than most people so it seems like it is the old routine again. I spent the first 8 years of my life in cancer treatment. I also experienced hip surgeries as a preteen so surgery is like a routine for me. I think if anything I am nervous about what happens after the stitch. Will I face complications like other people I have chatted with? Will I tear my cervix? Will I bleed a lot? Will this cerclage work for us? The countdown is almost over for the cerclage.