Tristine's Triumph -- Entry 38

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April 18

Today I was so frustrated with my husband. We were supposed to have our ultrasound to check on the baby's growth. I was nervous and needed him for moral support. We were going to drive separately because he needed to head into work after our appointment. He was late at getting out of bed and I knew he was going to miss the appointment if he didn't hurry up. I left the house before he even got out of bed. I arrived at the office with 10 minutes to spare before my scheduled ultrasound.

The ultrasound technician was on time, so at 9:00am she called me back to the room. I let the front desk know that my husband was on his way. I was happy I brought videotape with me so my husband could see what he missed.

The ultrasound went rather quick. She was trying to get measurements of baby's belly, femur, and head, as well as take measurements of pockets of amniotic fluid. I kept waiting for my husband to knock on the door but it never came. And then the technician told I was measuring small, I started to get paranoid. Why couldn't my husband be here with me? This was the exact reason why I needed him with me -- I was so scared something serious was wrong with our baby. Thoughts of IUGR (Intrauterine Growth Retardation) flashed through my mind.

My ultrasound was finished and my husband was still nowhere to be found. I went out into the lobby to wait for my appointment with the 2nd on-call doctor. I called my husband and found out he was 10 minutes away and told him how the ultrasound went. He said he was just going to head into work since he missed the ultrasound. I was on the verge of tears. It was a good thing that I didn't have to wait long before being called back to meet with the doctor.

He seemed like a nice guy, a little friendlier than the doctor I saw 2 weeks ago. But it made me nervous that he didn't even have my chart in the room with us when we discussed my pregnancy. It also made me nervous that he didn't want to check my cerclage.

I had some issues I had questions on. Immediately, I asked him about the ultrasound. He said that while she was a little small, it wasn't to the degree that they were worried about her size. I talked to him about the increase in discharge I have experienced. There hasn't been anything new like losing my plug, but the increase has me nervous nonetheless. He said it was normal in pregnancy. I also talked about feeling lots of pressure in my pelvic region. It has been increasingly difficult for me to get up from a sitting position. I have to stand for a few seconds just to get my balance and adjust from the discomfort. He said I "was in the extremely pregnant stage" and laughed it off. I asked about my blood pressure because it has been hard to get a low reading and he told me it wasn't anything to worry about. But he did say it was time for me to start my visits weekly, rather than every two weeks.

While I was frustrated with this appointment, I was thankful that it would be only 2 more weeks until I could see my own doctor again. My next visit is with the last on-call doctor. I have a friend who has seen her before and she delivered my sister-in-laws 3rd baby. I knew I was going to be able to get more answers from her.

And as for my husband, I let him know that I was very angry at the fact that he missed the appointment. After a few harsh words, and then an apology from him, I let it go because I really didn't want to start a fight, but I did want him to know that his behavior really hurt me.

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