Whew! Just about 27 weeks this week!
As I get ready to enter my third trimester, I realize what a ride it has already been! I can only imagine what the last stretch has in store for me!
I would love to tell you that I have loved pregnancy throughout. With the first trimester, I had all of the typical symptoms of pregnancy. It felt like the symptoms were to the extreme for me. With tender, swollen breasts, morning sickness that lasted into the wee hours of the night, flared allergies, breathing problems, and headaches, I could barely manage the emotional roller coaster of the first trimester. Having been a victim of a spontaneous abortion (who ever coined it that, anyhow?), I was constantly nervous. Even after moving past the week I had miscarried, I felt for sure like my pregnancy might be doomed. Even past being worried about losing the gift again, I was constantly worried about what type of mother I would be. Am I really going to have a baby? Am I ready? Will I be a good mom? Will I be able to tie up loose ends before the baby gets here? Will my partner make a good parent? Are we strong enough, in our relationship, to survive and thrive as parents? With such different backgrounds, how will we decide what’s best for a baby? Those were some of the questions that would swim through my head, day in and day out. The emotions only seemed to swing further when it was time to tell everyone. While telling my family was simple, I just cannot say the same of telling my partner’s family. Although we have all moved on from the drama, it was not a lot of fun.
Moving into the second trimester, I longed for jalapenos and all things spicy. I sometimes thought I could eat for not just two, but for many. I tried not to though, realizing I had worked hard before getting pregnant to lose some weight. Also, most of the cravings were for some sort of spicy salad. My partner, the bland eater that he is, was probably happy for this period to end. Sadly enough, I realized that I had some sort of a food allergy to dairy and jalapenos. So spicy and ice cream were soon out of the picture. These days I was growing. And when people say growing and glowing, they are definitely talking about this period! Not quite enough to be uncomfortable, just enough to be noticeably pregnant. I was doing great and had only gained about 10 pounds. The beginning to the middle of second trimester seemed to fly by. The week before finding out what I was having (a boy!) seemed to drag a little bit, but other that, it flies. With working and everything, all of a sudden you’re “halfway there” at 20 weeks! It was the time when I first noticed my baby’s little kick attempts. I wish somebody had told me that only means the fun is just about over!
As I near the close of my second trimester, I am feeling… well, I guess blah. I can’t breathe, sleep, walk, focus, write, or anything else. Well, okay, I am being a little dramatic, but still. That’s how I feel sometimes! I have no idea where it came from (I’m optimistically hoping from water retention), but I’ve gained 10 pounds since my last doctor’s visit at 23 weeks! So, when someone asks, “How’s the baby,” I want to scream out, “Oh, he’s fine! It’s me who’s getting fat!” I don’t, though. Carpel Tunnel seems to have taken over my right arm and hand. I bet that cute little wrist thing I have to get will be an absolute hit at work. My feet stay pretty swollen. The tops of them feel like fresh bruises. I dread the times that any of my dogs manage to step only on my feet and not on the ground. My allergies have remained the same, but now it’s spring and the pollen count is high. After walking or standing for a long period of time, I get nagging pains in my abdomen. Thanks to the little baby growing and stretching. Sleeping is sort of becoming a joke. I’m up every hour, either moving around or getting up to use the bathroom. I feel like I’m so sleepy now, kind of narcoleptic or something! And my back! Sometime it’s okay, and sometimes it just…hurts! And whoa, where did that monstrous nose, on my face, come from? I still haven’t had any strong, middle-of-the-night cravings. Does that make me feel less pregnant? No, I don’t think so. I guess my partner just got lucky on that one! Furthermore, the worrying hasn’t stopped! And, wow what a jerk I seem to be these days!
During the first trimester, I was worried about losing my little one to that… what’s it called again? Oh, right spontaneous abortion. Now, I am worried about losing my child due to preterm labor. It seems like the worries just kicked up after the little one has become viable. Now, I am having nightmares about it! I dreamt last night that I lost my plug. I dreamt the other night that the baby (whom we now call Aiden) had come out, but my bag and all else was still inside! Ah, yes, the dreams are great! And just wait until you don’t “feel” the baby for what seems like an eternity. You don’t know whether to call the doctor because there may be something wrong or not call because you feel so silly.
After sifting through the books, hearing from coworkers and friends, and occasionally, yet frantically, calling the doctor’s, I’m beginning to realize that there is only one, simple explanation for all of the symptoms and worries. I’m pregnant and beginning to take on the role of a mommy. Who would have known?
Even after reading and asking around, I really have no idea what the third trimester will bring, for me. I know what it brought for many, but not what it will bring for me. Maybe knowing that the worrying has plagued me in the past trimesters, I can try to sit back and enjoy the rest of the ride. Right, with the 100% humidity heat in the south, I am sure I will do just that! But, this is what being pregnant is all about, right?