I am currently in a non-committed relationship, however it works for us. I am 28 and he is 36, both work in the city live out of the city in the same town. I have a pretty average income, his compared to my own...way above average, but compared to others really decent. He lives on his own as do I. We agreed to be friends or open to just date w/freedom to date others. Recently I shared with him my secret that I keep to myself especially when it comes to males. I am diagnosed prone to ovarian cysts, and my doctor however sweet (you know can report you may die if we don't stuff... and all you think is aawwwwhhh man you mean I can't eat solid foods again) asks me so often when do i plan to have children. She hopes it's soon, and runs down the treatment plan for when I'm ready.
I explained to him that it's stressful for me and sad since I am not in a relationship, far too much away from TTC planning. He asked if I was one of those "don't want to be alone" people. I replied simply, "No I just don't want to miss my opportunity to be a mother. I've given up on the dream of marriage a long time ago, but this dream I will fight to death for." He became quiet and then asked if I wanted to have his baby, LOL, yeah right I said. I then began to lay him out for even playing around with such a sensitive subject with me, I don't have the ability to forgive someone for leading me on, or teasing me about motherhood. Although he shared his serious intentions, and how he feels I will be a good woman, and we have a different type of relationship, he knows he is stubborn and does'nt like to be told what to do...Blah Blah Blah.
I am very reluctant to believe him. We are safe people and believe in HIV testing and condoms, providing reports to one another. Presently he has begun to slowly reframe from using condoms and I inquire about the change. He doesn't give an answer, nevertheless I continue to take my BC and got to my doctor for regular testing, as does he. A part of me would love to to this with him so I can calm the fear of loosing the ability someday. Another part of me is afraid to have a baby with him, what if things don"t work out or get's angry with me for some reason. Will he go for custody? In which I believe with his income he will get. Would he allow me to move so that I can raise my child in GA as I always planned. Since he has not approached with this topic a second time I refuse to risk gaining more scar tissue through cysts from not being compliant with my BC. Everyday I think about this and way my options...it is so anxiety provoking. What to do?