Worries... Is it alright to worry?

Mommy_McHone2B's picture

I had a miscarriage when I was 18. I greived, yes... but I was in a relationship that wasn't good for me and I don't mean it to sound bad, but I wasn't ready for a child. I figured it was God's way of not letting something happen that shouldn't have. I got married in September and found out right after the honey moon that I was pregnany again. It was a lot to take in for the both of us. We were really excited tho. But, I had been bleeding a little since half way thru the honey moon. I went to the doctor and he said it could be nothing but we would keep an eye on it. Then, another miscarriage. This time I grieved a lot more. I really wanted to be pregnant with my husband. A lady in the lab where I had my blood work done told us that her friend had a miscarriage and got busy right away and was pregnant with in 3 months. So, we got busy! I started becoming obsessed with pregnancy tests. Most say you can take one as early as 5 days before your next period. So, I was taking them whenever I thought they may show a positive. Backing up... after the 2nd miscarriage I had a normal period at the end of November. Then an early start closer to the middle of December. I chalked it up to irregularality from miscarrying. January rolls around and NOTHING. February I am taking pregnancy tests every few days. And nothing. In the end of the month I start. Or so I thought. There was some pink at first. One time after sex there was a little red mixed in with the usual after mess. But after that, pink only when I wiped after using the bath room. TMI? Sorry. 3 or 4 days pass and the pink soon stops. I was a little hopeful but mostly doubtful when on the hubby's b-day I got a positive. Yay! But, I didn't feel excited. I am really nervous this time around because we have been trying and I know that I will be more disappointed if something goes wrong this time. I even had myself convinced that the test wasn't positive. Because you know how the second line can be faint. But, my husband kept reminding me if it's there a little than it counts a lot. I have an appointment to see my doctor on Monday. I'm just afraid he's gonna do a test and it's going to come back negative and think we are crazy. If I am according to my LMP I would be like 8-10 weeks! Almost out of the worry zone. But, I also worry that he will say I am but only a few weeks and then I have all that time to worry.