The pain in my joints is becoming rather frustrating. This may be my least favorite symptom so far - as I got over nausea (for the most part) and constipation (again for the most part). Being hyperflexible to begin with I know when my body needs strength work and cardio. Being pregnant and having an increase of hormones that increase flexibility and joint pain has been quite a wake-up call. Actually it's been more of a nightmare. My body aches most of the time. My back, hips and metatarsals slip and pop multiple times a day.
Everything is normal at least so far in terms of blood work. The only number I know is my beta hcg and it's really good. So, that's one less thing to worry about today. I've decided after much crying and sobbing that pregnancy is going to be the most difficult roller coaster of my life. It is absolutely terrifying and is leading me to OCD. You know, where you check the toilet paper every time you go. Or feeling your breasts to make sure they are still a little sore. If it weren't me I would find it comical!
Yesterday was our RN intake appointment. Lots of counseling, handouts, labwork, etc. We made it through in one piece and I received the best news possible - I'm allowed to eat turkey sandwichs! I have been building the perfect one in my head for the last month and yesterday I finally got to eat it. It was a dream come true. :)
At the appointment we were talking about symptoms and how I was feeling and if there were any signs of trouble. Nope, things are good. Most days I can eat okay, constipation seems to be coming under control, mild cramping but no spotting...until afternoon.
Last week morning sickness hit and I spent the weekend laying on the couch watching TV. I consumed roughly 500 calories on Saturday and another 3-400 on Sunday. I was desparate. And then all of a sudden, dinner on Sunday I feasted on 4 slices of pizza. And I didn't stop eating until today (Wednesday). Today I'm feeling a little off. My oatmeal didn't taste quite right. And my boobs are not as tender. So, now I'm freaking out that my sypmtoms come and go and that something is wrong.
Well hello there pregnancy symptoms. I have a little timid with this whole pregnancy thing since I wasn't feeling queasy and I didn't have that 'tell-tale' sign ofsore boobs. I spoke too soon. Today I am 6 weeks and that appears to be the magic number. My morning decaf mocha, disgusting and revolting. My morning yogurt snack, repulsive. I accidentally hit myself in the boob and let out a yelp that startled the dog. Last night all I wanted was meatloaf; today just the thought of it makes me crave a saltine.
Sleep has been a little fitful the last few nights. I've been told this trend will continue for the next few years. Beautiful. Turns out I really like my sleep. Who would have imagined?! As I sit thinking during the day about how sleepy I am I can't help but think - hey I'm constructing a head and some organs I should get to take a nap! And my mind starts to create plans as to how to accomplish this without anyone catching on.
1-Sick days? No that won't work, I'll need all of those. Besides, I'm not sick just pooped.
I peed on another stick tonight...yup, still pregnant! 5 weeks and the poppy seed is now a sesame seed. Over the last couple of days I've been a little stopped up. Not such a pleasant picture, but it is what it is. And one of the things that causes problems. Dairy. This spells trouble and despair. I love dairy. I drink more milk than anyone I've ever met. It is my beverage of choice. In an attempt to make myself feel better about this wicked turn of events I had a piece of chocolate. Gag-o-rama. Chocolate AND milk?! Seriously?! There goes my mocha and hot chocolate.
We spent a few hours at the bookstore this afternoon. Reading books for expectant fathers and all sorts of terrifying things for mommies. The thought of some of those 'symptoms' is kind of unnerving. And then of course, here I sit panicking that if I don't have that this must all be an illusion. I don't know when I will really start to believe all of it and be confident. I know that I'm pregnant; I just wouldn't mind 15 medical professionals telling me that as well! Back to the bookstore.
Today I am 'only' 4 weeks and 4 days. I can tell my body is adjusting. The stereotypical symptoms aren't there i.e. morning sickness, tender breasts, etc., but my body is definitely doing it's own thing. I am gassy (I cannot seem to go more than 30 minutes without checking out my surroundings). I am discovering a completely different kind of tired. Having run a marathon before I will tell you there is no similarity; this feels like general flu-like fatigue. I HOPE that it never reaches marathon fatigue...but I fear that it probably will. Not a matter of if, but when!
After waiting impatiently to see a positive test I now have to wait impatiently for my first visit to the doctor. The receptionist was right about testing positive so early...it is going to make for a long pregnancy! I'll be almost 8 weeks before they will see me. That's a month from now.
It's funny that I thought I was becoming a much more patient person. But those 2 lines are proving me wrong.
So, I sit and twirl my thumbs for a few weeks...hang in there little poppy seed. I'm going to talk you through all of this in hopes that I don't lose my mind.