Well, I'm new here, but I really feel the need to write down all my feelings. I will start at the beginning (well, before the beginning of TTC and after the beginning of my life, so maybe "in the middle" would be better.) I got married after I graduated from college. I'm not sure why we got married. I think we had been together so long, that marriage was just the next step. It was never a great marriage. We didn't speak very much, I avoided him if I could. We had decided we did not want to have kids. One, because he had a disease that he could pass onto a baby.