So...my husband loves me, I know this. But besides saying he was surprised, happy, and proud of me and about me being pregnant, he's not really involved. He's super busy right now, it's true (but also kinda his fault) but it's hard to take. He is going through 14 hr work days of recruiters course for the marine corps and taking two college classes, I hardly get to see him or spend time with him!
So reading ttc stories makes me wanna write down possible Symptoms. Right now Im feeling depressed and kinda lonely and just got a BFN ): but if I am prego then it's like only 5 dpo which is super early. The earliest I've heard of slightly successful testing is 8 dpo. Anywho: Here's what I think so far:
Well, Im waiting-since I got my period early this month and hopefully O'd-to see if I got pregnant or not. Im at least glad to have my period back. False Unicorn really helped get my uterus back into shape. It's like, if anything goes wrong down there, I take FUR and tada! Im okay in a few days or so. So yeah. Back to normal as far as I know. Dunno if I O'd or not. Hopefully. I don't wanna get my hopes up but how can I not? If Im pregnant, I would actually find out about the same time as my birthday! I REALLY want that as a bday present! But, I may not. And I know I'll be sad if Im not.
Well it's O week, and Im feelin blessed (: I feel like this is the month I get pregnant, kinda a Holy Spirit feeling I think but perhaps that's just the Lord's joy at me wanting to get pregnant and waiting for my children, Joshua and....Rio? Sarafina? Anariel? Elizabeth? Amy? to come along. (my fav girl name is Sara Fina right now). So I've got three weeks to wait to see if this month is the winning month or to see if perhaps next month is (: Going to a baby shower on saturday. My friend is pregnant with twins! She and her husband are super excited!
And now I wait. Im thinking about looking into those $1 ovulation tests to try and see when Im ovulating. Me and my hubby rly dont have enough sex in my opinion...well serious sex where we're trying to conceive.
Ugh, my mom -_- I WANT to talk to her, and she is too busy for me. I don't think she'll be really reliable for when I actually have a baby. I don't think I should include her in many plans of mine ): Im hurt that when I try talking to her, she basically politely shoves me off. It's hurtful, what have i done wrong? Does she think Im crazy?? Ugh ):
I want my freakin tincture! Why hasn't it come yet!?!?!?!?! I can't start baby making til it comes and it's taking forever! I wish I'd bought from a different store!
Well still kinda cramping a bit, negative test, dr.'s apt feels to far away, i wonder if they'll think Im a lunatic if i go to the er or urgent care at the naval hospital. Im at a point where i care about if im prego or not but also not caring because i feel stupid cuz i want to be prego so bad but am getting neg tests and symptoms but i might just have issues (hormonal imbalance) ): life sucks on that front, that's all i gotta say ): i HATE not being normal. And then what if I AM prego? I feel like since i haven't gotten a positive test, or a dr confirmation that Im not.