SO the more I read, trying to figure some concrete things out, like hmmm, am I pregnant? The more I find things like "I missed my period and thought I was pregnant but I had a brain tumor!" OR "I missed my period, had pregnancy symptoms, but it was just my thyroid acting up!" The more I think about it and read about it, the less likely it seems that Im pregnant and the more crazy I feel ): Makes me feel sad and crazy and isolated. I wish I either WAS or WASN'T pregnant! I don't want complications damn it!!
I have decided that I really don't care what my pregnancy tests say, IM PREGNANT. Why do I have the burning sensation in my lower? Have certain cravings or aversions? Feel slightly natious, feel fatigued so quickly? Have mild back ache, FEEL my uterus doing stuff and then felt uncomfortable when me and my husband were baby dancing?? Or why have I missed my period and why do I feel overwhelmed with hormones, so much that my heart races and I can't sleep even though Im tired!? Screw pregnancy tests, really, I'll know for sure when I start to show!
Well I hope I don't have an ectopic pregnancy. No period, no positive pregnancy test yet and some lower abdominal cramps-sort of like regular cramps but Im starting to doubt that it's actually cramps cuz everytime I feel the little ache, I'll burp or pass gas. But Im on edge about it! I wish I'd either get my period or get a positive test already! Im tempted to buy the super sensitive pregnancy tests but then I think, well if I wait long enough my hcg levels will be high enough to tell. *sigh* We'll see. IT"S DRIVING ME MAD THO!!!
Ugh, not sure what's happening then. No period. No positive pregnancy test either. Frustrating! I wish I knew what was rly happening!!! Is there a problem with my uterus?! Am I pregnant?! Am I just really late?? I told Scott I might be prego, wish I hadn't /: Hate to cry wolf!
Well, It's the 24th, and boy am I tired -_-, and also no period yet. I known to start in the evenings generally and the day isn't over yet of course but still... I took a pregnancy test, I think i thought I saw perhaps the slightest trace of a faint pink line but I think I was wrong. Well, we'll see. I know one negative doesn't mean that Im not pregnant. We shall see!
I wonder if Im gunna have my period tomorrow! We'll see! It's really.....ya know exciting but....yeah. Almost don't want to be yet, but then I do for so many reasons! Also, I have a lot of homework to do but I totally don't want to do it!! I also have to get up and answer the needs of my annoying tenant josh tomorrow, and THEN go to work! I hope I get everything done and Im nervous I won't!
Well tomorrows the day! Lol, the day I see if my period really is going to happen or not. I didn't have a period FORVER not last month but the month before. I had a forever period and a forever not period until my husband came home, then I was normal again. That speaks to how stressful it was to have him gone for 2 months! Makes me wonder if it was more than stress that contributed. What if I don't have a period for forever again? I don't WANNA go to the doctors until Im pregnant! I always chicken out! So Im hoping for either my period or a positive pregnancy test.
So the calculated date of my period was supposed to be today and I haven't had it. I may have not calculated right though because I didn't have a period the month before last and then got my period around the 20th of last month, when it was normally on the 18th, so yeah. I dunno whats going on. I suspect I'll get my period tomorrow or the next day. But wouldn't it be exciting if I was pregnant!? I hope so, but if not, there is always next month (:
Im very excited that my husband finally agreed to start trying to have a baby! I have been waiting quite a while, my body screaming at me that it was ready and my eyes following all those new moms holding their own babies. I was starting to feel more and more sad about not having my own and how my husband always said no when I asked him. I think THAT actually made me the most sad. I felt like he wasn't on my side! He has a lot of goals that he wants to accomplish before having children. I understand where he is coming from.