Thread: The hard road we travel

Social worker was supposed to come on Monday morning, but cancelled an hour before. At least my house is REALLY clean now! I just have to make it stay that way! Kellen has been really sick. We went to urgent care on Sat. morning because he was throwing up and having diareah (sp?) every hour. They gave us suppositories which were really fun with runny poop! YUCK. He still wasen't better on Tuesday so we took him back to the Doc. They looked at him and said that he should be better in a few days and not to worry! The poor kid is screaming in pain and has runny poop every two hours! AHHHHHH. He is a little better today. We went to physical therapy and she is concerned about him not bonding with me. He doesn't seem to want anyone to hold him except Dave(and sometimes he still will scream uncontrollably with him). She is going to start testing him for attachment disorders. If it is not one thing, its another. He also is not making any sounds again, and not wanting to eat solids. For every step forward, we take three back.

I had a wonderful weekend with kellen. We went camping at my brothers property on a lake and kel was in heaven! He loves being outside, and the area is large and fenced, so he could roam to his hearts content with all the dogs. He let me hold him, and even ate for me. Of course the moment we got back home, he was the screaming devil I love! Therapy was interesting today. He took a test on fine motor skills and did very well. Which I knew he would. The kid can get the lid off of everything! She is having him go to a specialist to evaluate him on attachment/bonding issues. We are also going to contact Kellens new doc. about eye tests and neurology appts. since the old doc. didn't think he has anything wrong with him! I took both boys to the park and to swimming. Kellen did an amazing job. He was very calm and splashed a lot. We still haven't heard from the social worker. I am getting very annoyed.

We FINALLY had a visit today from a dshs worker. It wasen't our social worker, but at least it was someone from the office. We told them all our concerns and that kellens physical therapist want him to see an attachment disorder specialist. We have to get the funding from the dshs department because the person will not take his med coupons. Kellen officially is done with physical therapy! He passed his bailey test with fine motor of 14 months and gross motor of 12 months. His communication was 0!

lots has happened in a fairly short amount of time. We finally met our social worker last week. He is brand new and just finished his training. He didn't know much about the case and I had to fill him in on details! He said that he thinks that Kellen needs to go to daycare and be around some other kids. I am all for it!

Kellen has been trying to say words though. He babbles a bit and says ISAAAHHHHAAA. Which we are pretty sure is isaiah! He also has just started saying up instead of screaming in the high chair. It has made my life so much easier! He stil doesn't say mama or dada. He is a tiny bit more attached to me, but will let everyone else hold him and snuggle him. Strangers can hold him and he is perfectly happy.

A casa worker for the courts visited us yesterday and talked about the court hearing next week. We thought it was a termination hearing that would make him legally free. It is a termination hearing that will set the date for a termination hearing in six months!!!!! So we are still playing the waiting game. We were also told that they have to search for every realitive on both sides to see if they are willing to adopt him BEFORE we have a chance to. We basicly have no rights even though we have had him almost a year. I know that we will eventually get him, but it is so hard to keep the faith and be positive! Dave and I just cried because we thought we were so close. Why the hell can't my body work and just give us one baby naturally? Then I would be able to enjoy every singe day without the fear of someone coming and taking my child. Damn now I am crying to hard to type.

Good news!!!!! Melissa the bio mom came to court and signed over rights. So as of August 11, her family and her and completely out of the picture. The judge also said that he is only giving bio dad until november 5th to come forward and then he is terminating his rights. So we are getting closer!

Dave had a really good talk with Melissa. She asked lots of questions about Kellen and was excited that he had brought some pics in case she was there. She gave us her e mail address and several phone numbers. She is also going to write kel a letter. We told her that as soon as we signed an adoption agreement we would send her periodic e mails and pics so that she can know what is going on with him. I am very happy that she seems to know that we are the best thing for him. Grandma wouldn't even look at the pictures and kept talking about how they lied and snatched him away from her! She is so nuts. Melissa was very upset that she has been made to pay child support but that since bio dad can't be found, he has paid nothing. She was also signing off rights because she can't afford to pay support to the state anymore. (Damn I love that new rule!)

It has been a long time since I wrote here but not a lot has changed. We did go to court last Friday, and the judge has set a termination hearing for the 19th of November. We are in the home stretch!!! We still have to apply to adopt and have a home study and take 20 hours of classes, BUT we are almost there.

Kellen is still very delayed. He does not speak and makes very few sounds and he is 21 months old. He just recently started saying dada and mama but not necessarily to us. He goes to daycare full time but is in the 12-18 month old class. He can't handle being with kids his own age. Food is still a major challenge. We can get him to eat one meal a day (usually breakfast) and the rest of the time he will only drink. we give him several glasses of whole milk to make up for the nutrition.

He still takes a long time to warm up and bond, but is SLOWLY bonding more to me... His daycare teacher is my best friend and he does really good if she is there. Anyone else at daycare he doesn't let them hold him or give him comfort.

As of yesterday, KELLEN IS LEGALLY FREE!!!!!!! So we have to apply to adopt and then it is done. The case worker thinks that if they put a rush on it, it will be done BEFORE CHRISTMAS!!!! I am not holding my breath, but we are so excited.

We moved the boys to yet another daycare. Isaiah was being preyed on by yet another kid that was trying to touch him and we didn't like how the staff was reacting. Isaiah even told us he was scared, so we pulled them. It is hard on Kellen to be moved, but he was scheduled to be moved to toddler room next month anyways. He has done well at the new daycare and his teacher is a specialist on high need kids. After the first day she was already saying that she will meet his needs by not holding him and has told her staff to not give him snuggles or touches unless he iniates it. Isaiah loves the new daycare and the director has known us for several years (so she knows about the past abuse issues from other daycare kids)


Yesterday I sat and cried thinking about how lucky we are. All we ever wanted was kids to love and snuggle. The holidays used to be so hard on us. Now we have our family. I still feel like I need one or two girls, but I am so happy with my boys. We are truly blessed.

Things are never as easy as I want them to be! We had a really bad caseworker and he didn't do the paperwork we needed to do to quickly adopt. SOOOO we are still working on it. We have to get an all clear from the doctor and have four more home visits before our court hearing. They assume it will be some time in March.

Kellen is still really delayed speach wise. He has about five or six words down, but only uses to appropriately. I am Daddy or Mommy depending on the day. He says Isaiah, go, and MINE... He also runs around yelling giggle, giggle which might mean tickle??? We are still waiting for speach therapy.

Here we are the 1st of June and still in limbo land!!!!!!!! Our social worker hasen't turned in the papers to our lawyer so that has really held things up. Even the lawyer is getting pissed off! Everyone says that it should be done by the end of June.

Kellen has really come into his own. He says quite a few words but still does not use mommy and daddy right. We have enrolled him in the parent to parent program with the school district. They are concerned about autism, but i know in my heart that he just needs extra love and attention and he will come even further into his own. He has come so far...He lets me hold him and will even give me kisses and hugs.

I am really ready for another baby too! We want to move this summer and then put in for another child. We will request a legally free child up to the age of five. We really want a girl too.

Well today was the day!!!!! We officially adopted kellen.