somewhere in the middle
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Thread: somewhere in the middle

  1. #1
    Skygirl
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    Default somewhere in the middle

    Well, I decided to try a journal. It will be mostly random thoughts and a lot of nothing just to keep me busy. But, for those who might actually read it, Here's a tiny bit of background. I'm 31yrs, DH is 31yrs, and we've been married 8 years. We met in Junior High, did the off and on High School dating, but didn't have a real relationship until he was in the NAVY and I was a Flight Attendant. I think God kept drawing us back together from all the different places in the world our jobs took us. I'm really thankful to have such a wonderful, caring husband. He's going to be such a good Daddy!

    I'll come back to this first post to update the timeline at some point.


    TIMELINE:
    June 17, 2007 - Information Meeting with Agency
    July 6, 2007 - Applied for Colombia
    July 20, 2007 - Approved for Colombia
    Aug 3, 2007 - First meeting with Director
    Aug 6, 2007 - Started Paper Chase
    Sept 24, 2007 - First Homestudy Meeting
    Oct 8, 2007 - Homestudy DONE!!
    Oct 26, 2007 - INS submitted... when it is returned(1 or 2 months later,) we can send our dossier to Oregon for the final paperwork. Then it will be translated and sent to the Colombian government.
    Nov 8, 2007 INS approved! (only for two children, and we requested three, agency is going to see if it can be fixed)
    Nov 14, 2007 INS approved for THREE children!!!
    Nov 20, 2007 Submitted Dossier to Agency
    Nov 30, 2007 Dossier sent to Colombia!!!
    Last edited by Skygirl; 11-30-2007 at 01:54 PM.

  2. #2
    Skygirl
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    We've been in an adoption Bible study group for over a year now. We've had an awesome opportunity to interact with internationally blended families and seen how beautifully it's worked. Some of the adults in our group are adopted themselves and are really great at sharing an insider's perspective.
    The kids in our group are from Vietnam, Moldova, China, local, and soon to be... Colombia!

    It used to be so hard when meeting new people, the first thing they'd ask was "how many kids do you have?" admit it, you've said that before too... it's natural conversation starter for many people to talk about their kids. But that question always made me cry. Because all my babies are in Heaven. So, how do you answer that? Do you acknowlege your babies and make the asker uncomfortable, or do you pretend like they never existed and then people assume you don't want kids because you've been married forever and don't have any-even though it is the only thing in life you want?

    We started going to a new community group at church which has been really fun. We really seem to fit with the people there. Once again, we are the only ones without kids, but this time there is hope. It's so nice when people ask how many kids we have that I can now say "we have two, or three, in South America" Now there's a good conversation starter!

    Usually people respond with, "Oh, why did you choose Colombia", or "where are you at in the process" both of which are fine questions to ask, however, only ONCE has someone said "Congratulations!" and acknowledged how special this is. If a woman says "I'm pregnant", she gets a round of "how wonderful, congratulations" but if she says "I'm adopting" she gets a round of "how much does that cost?"

    I guess people who've never thought about adoption haven't yet processed that I'm going to love these children every bit as much as they love their bios. Our kids have been waited for for so long they are going to be smothered in love and attention. I feel like I've had a lifetime to plan our events and activities, and my husband is crazy excited too. He wants to adopt older siblings so he can start the soccer practices and school plays immediately...

    Today I am taking care of my nephew, we're going to a farm - that's not really a farm- to see the animals. More later I guess.
    Last edited by Skygirl; 12-02-2007 at 09:31 AM.

  3. #3
    Skygirl
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    well, back from the farm that's not a farm. My nephew and I had a great time, he's 3 and can hardly talk, but he repeats everything several times so every statement or question is super excited! I love that.
    First thing he said when we arrived was "You have money Kayah? You have money? You have money Kayah?" because he wanted to feed the animals. I told him I only had dollars so he told me to go get good money. =)
    Admission is free, and the kids love it, we've been there many times.
    http://www.360kc.com/Attractions/Dea...Farmstead.html
    He got to feed the fish and goats and chickens. That was hilarious, he tried to feed the chickens like you would a goat... out of his hand!
    Then we walked through the wigwams and the barn, climbed on the tractor, played in the sand and went on down the slide. (He kept asking me if I would fit on the slide... again, three times per sentence, that wasn't embarrassing or anything) but yes, I do fit down a slide. Where do they come up with these things?
    Anyway, I keep thinking, If my kids are 3 when I get them, I'll have missed out on some of thier life, but there is so much joy in every stage, I can't wait to experience it.
    DH is supposed to come home for his appt tomorrow. Then we find out when the home visit is, hopefully next week. Then we can file our last paper and send it all in. We do have to wait for one paper to come from Chicago, hopefully soon!

  4. #4
    Skygirl
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    Learning Spanish. That is the #1 thing the agency keeps telling us. We will be in Colombia for a month so I'm sure it will come in handy there, but I do want my kids to be bilingual. I took Spanish in HS and college, but it's been a while and I am having to relearn most of it.
    So, I bought some CD's from Amazon, using the same guy who taught our French Cd's. The only problem with that is we associate his voice with French and keep getting our languages mixed up.
    So, I checked out some CD's of different types from the library. Do Not bother getting the Complete Idiot's Guide to Spanish. But, the other one, Instant Immersion Spanish is ok. Especially if you have a little background already.
    Now I need to put it on my mp3 so I can take my lessons with me.

  5. #5
    Skygirl
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    Whew. I just got J out the door. His Homestudy appt is at 7:30am, I think he'll make it in time, but just barely! Poor guy. He drove in last night, took me out to dinner, went to bed and is out the door again. This afternoon he's flying to PA for the day. He took the last of our paperwork with him to the meeting, and is supposed to schedule the last meeting. I hope it's soon, I want to get on the list! Of course, with Colombia, it is 5 months between putting in your paperwork and officially being on the list, although they will start looking for our kiddos right away.

    The chances are that both (or all 3 depending) of my children are already born. I pray for them every day. That they are being taken care of and loved and love each other. I hope we get to meet soon.

  6. #6
    Skygirl
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    Cool! Our final Homestudy meeting is in 3 days! I am going to be working on the house like CRAZY!!! It's a fixer upper, and I know they won't hold it against me that the kitchen cabinets aren't done or the bathroom needs remodeled because they are in the process of being done... however, you always want your house to look it's best, right?
    This means that next week we'll file for the 600a and will we be done? No, I keep forgetting about the apostilled letter we need from Illinois. Darn it. Well, we're getting there! Then we can send the dossier to Oregon for the agency to translate and THEN we're done. whew. deep breaths K... I feel so rushed and I'm the only one putting time restraints on me.

  7. #7
    Skygirl
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    I did so much cleaning yesterday, I am wiped out today! I woke up at 6:30am freaking out that everything wasn't done yet, and DH reminded me it was only Friday! Whew! That really helped me relax, but I don't think I slept well because I was worrying about it.

    When we were trying to pick an agency (no easy task) there were two that really jumped out at me and we almost went with the other one because it seemed to be faster and less expensive. However, we chose the local one because of the support groups and personal recommendations.
    Out of curiosity, I just checked the other agency's website, and they are not even offering our program anymore! I think God led us to the agency we chose, for a reason... our kids are there!

  8. #8
    Skygirl
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    Ugh. I'm trying to explain to my family (who we are very close to) how adopted kids listen to everything you say and can be very sensitive about their adoption. I was telling my dad how a family we know was really hurt by a stranger in the market saying bad things about that certain country selling babies and was their kid stolen from the birthmom? RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN! Oh that breaks my heart!
    Well, one thing we're learning in our study is to have an answer ready for all kinds of stupid or thoughtless comments in advance, because eventually it's going to happen in some way. The books say the quicker the parent answers and speaks positively about the adoption, the less it will bother the child.

    My dad doesn't quite get it yet. When I told him the story, he says, you can just tell people they were your cousin's children.
    What? How does he think that is helpful? It baffles me sometimes. He's trying. This is really new to the family. I don't think my parents ever knew anyone who adopted.
    My dad is pretty sweet though. He just doesn't get it. It was cool when we went to visit his dad at the Old Soldier's home, to listen to my dad tell his Father about my adoption. He said "Isn't that neat? Kayah's going to be the FIRST to adopt in our family! We've never had adopted kids before!"
    Well, like I said, they really are trying to get it.
    We're trying to tell the family everything we learn about adoption issues, but it's hard. And they aren't fully understanding.
    I know I'm the perfect type of person to adopt because I don't see the difference b/w that and bio kids. I never have. They are your kids but with a different background. There's no reason to hide that or to make a big deal out of it either. It just is.

  9. #9
    Skygirl
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    Well, we're still going to the adoption group tonight so will prob be up most of the night finishing the house cleaning.
    We know it doesn't have to be perfect, they're mainly looking for code violations, but it probably shouldn't be this bad.
    I love the office now, it's so nice to be clean. We finally sorted the last of the boxes from the move here. sheesh. pathetic. J was actually able to throw a little bit away. I made 6 huge bags of stuff for the VFW, they're coming to pick up next week. Mochi was outside in the rain before we knew it was raining of course, and is dirty now. She's scheduled for her biweekly bath on Tuesday anyway, but the social worker has to meet her tomorrow. How embarrassing. Hopefully she brushes out good.
    J thought the best use of his time was to install the new kitchen light that has been sitting in the dining room for a year. I had to help hold it up and white junk from the ceiling got all over me and I had to take a shower again. SO NOT the best project to have done, we need organizing and cleaning man! Not installing light fixtures!

  10. #10
    Skygirl
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    My house is so clean! We worked until midnight last night, and then got up early this morning to make sure everything was perfect. Of course, all the ladies who went before me and gave me advice were right. My crazy cleaning wasn't neccessary, but wow am I glad to have the last of the boxes unpacked, everything put away, tons went to Goodwill, and it was the only way to get DH motivated in years so yeah, it was worth it to clean everything!

    This house still needs so much work, but it's passable. We have a while before the kids come to finish it. Now I need to call the school district and make sure I get called for substituting to earn a lot of $$. The amount we need for the country fees and travel is a bit staggering to think of at this point, but it will happen. I know it will. No doubt in my mind, even if we resort to sending out support letters, someway, somehow we'll get our kids. I'm kind of excited to see how God is going to pull this all together!

    And in the meantime...
    WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
    The Homestudy is DONE!!!!
    I am so excited!!!

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