lol sending referral vibes!!!
*Sigh* Hugs, Sandy. Thinking of you while you are still waiting on the referral. It will be well worth the wait in the end but I know it's hard to wait for the referral.
The ergo looks cool and it looks like it will "grow" with your baby. One question though: Can you put the baby forward-facing?
Your pre-refferal days are counted... Soon your questions will have answers. What a great holiday present!
Did you quit your preschool job? I have to go back and read the journal.
Yep, the Ergo can be used forward-facing as well! It can "do" all the positions a mei tai can.
No, I didn't quit my preschool job. Sorry, that post was a little confusing. Blame it on adoption-brain! I took the day off tomorrow since I have finals (I'm working on my Bachelor's in Psychology), and I just miss the kiddos so much when I'm away.
How are you doing?? I see the bean has graduated on to the third block on your ticker!! YAY!!!!! When is your due date again?
I am soooo excited!! No referral yet, but... check out the last post on p.11!!! *Squeeeeee*!!!!!!
aahhh Sandy!! A tiny lil' one!! HOW EXCITING!
That dress is about as precious as they come, I can't wait to see her in it! Oh hun - things are getting so soo close!
Thanks, Julia!! We are soooo excited!! I just love these little updates - they definitely make up for not having pictures!
Whipppeeeee! That is so wonderful! An itty bitty baby!!!!!! And that dress is just perfect. You will have your referral any time now and soon will be carrying her picture around wtih you every minute of the day
Gotta get some itty-bitty tights to go with this beautiful dress! The bottom part is SO flowy!
Congrats on your great news I hope Jenny keeps "spilling more and more beans"
i'm feeling fine, thank you, better now that I'm not nausious anymore.
What a great teacher you are to miss your students on your day off!
Asha, I am so glad to hear the m/s has passed! I cannot imagine how terrible that must feel! :puke2: But at least it keeps you cognizant of the fact that there's a little bean healthily growing away in there.
Is there baby-etiquette about putting little girls in tights with flowy dresses? I am totally lacking in that area, I thought the bloomers would work as a diaper cover and wasn't going to bother with tights! :oops: Please let me know if I do need to buy a pair!
Elicia, I *know*, when we get the referral I am going to bug people by whipping her picture out at every opportunity!! DH was just saying this the other day!
You are probably going to frame her picture onto a keychain-that's convienient for whipping it out and bragging!
There aren't rules about tights , I just love tiny socks and tiny tights. Little socks melt my heart. You can always get those dressy socks with lace -girliness at it's best. IMO...
Anyway, exciting time ... Come refferal, COME!!!!!
Asha, you're enabling my craziness by giving me ideas - keychain? That's brilliant!! More exciting news today, I am about to bust with all this information!! Now if only I could have a picture to put with all of it....
I'd love to see a picture too. I'm just so glad that you know that she's all yours now!
I don't even know what to say really, Sandy I just love reading your posts and watching your excitement. Your thinking about the birth mother is sweet. And well, you're awesome. I can't wait till you get a picture
Thank you, Nadine. :bighug: And congrats on hitting the 30 week mark with your baby twins!!!! How exciting, not too much longer now!
Sandy!!!! I'm dying here lol I wish I could give you a huge hug!! It is always so wonderful to read your journal, you can feel the excitment through your words & your tenderness and mommyhood coming out - you are going to be such an amazing mom, you really are!
You are SO sweet, Julia! I am so glad you think that, sometimes I have my doubts!! It seems like I have SO much to learn about motherhood! I'm hoping I'll stumble through it with a little bit of grace and dignity.
Nadine, I just saw your reply to my post on the breastfeeding board! Thank you for the links! :bighug: I really think I am going to try, especially since she's going to be so young.
Oh Sandy, that would be SOO NEAT!!!! I think it takes a lot of courage to give it a try too - you'll have to KUP on how it goes
That onsie that you bought sounds adorable, I bet you can't wait to see her in it! Have fun shopping! I love Old Navy!
Thanks, Julia! I am excited to try and breastfeed her but also really nervous! Mainly I am not too worried about my milk coming in - I know that will take time, and I'm okay with that. I'm going to use a supplemental nurser to help with that. But I'm worried about her not knowing how to suck or not wanting to feed from the breast after so long without it. I think that would be heartbreaking! I'm trying to get a hold of literature that talks about babies who haven't ever had a chance to breastfeed, and how they do with it at several months' old. I think I'm just going to take it slow and see how she and I do on it!
What an awesome thing to BF your daughter!!! I was wondering if the caretaker at the orphanage is able to start calling Addie by her name now that she has been chosen for your family?
That's a very good question, Elicia! I'll have to find out, I honestly hadn't even thought about it. So far, no one at the agency knows we're going to name her Addie (well, Adriana, but Addie for short) but that would be so cool for them to start calling her that! Thanks for the idea!
I haven't had a chance to look - but have you been over to the breastfeeding board? I started looking into it about a year ago when we were going for adoption - I found the ladies there to be really helpful
Those books your reading sound really great, there's something comforting about being able to relate to what your reading, don't you think? I hope the 2nd one is just as good, sounds like something I'd love to read too!
I'll have to go check out your other blog!
Yep, I've been to the Everything BF board. I decided that I didn't want to take an meds to induce lactation, so I'm just going to use a supplementer (Lact-Aid) until my milk comes in. Might take a while, but I think it might be the healthiest alternative for me and the baby.
I used the Lact-Aid with my first baby b/c he had such a hard time nursing at first, it worked really well! I've sine given it to a friend of mine who adopted twins & wanted to nurse.
I'm really excited for you & that is SO wonderful that your dh is on board too, he sounds like a real sweetheart
There are herbal things you can take to help inrease milk, Fenugreek being the most popular. I always drink an organic tea called Mothers Milk when I first have my babies, it good stuff.
It's so great to hear that you used Lact Aid successfully, Julia! I've been reading lots of good things about it. I cannot wait to try! I've also read about Fenugreek, but not Mother's Milk. What is it, exactly? Thanks for all these great tips! You know it's funny, I never really thought of myself as particularly "crunchy", but it's certainly looking that way from all the mommyhood choices I'm making!
I can't remember what's in it, now that I think of it - I stopped drinking it when Seamus was 6 months old. I still have some somewhere though, I'll go find it and write out the ingredients for you.
You know it's funny, I never really thought of myself as particularly "crunchy", but it's certainly looking that way from all the mommyhood choices I'm making!
Oh Julia, you don't have to look up the ingredients for me! I was just curious what Mother's Milk really was - is it actually milk that's good for mom's milk supply? I had just never heard of it before!
How are you guys doing with the new house??
I was once told by a principal in my kids' school that I shouldn't breastfeed there, I was being descreet and all, but she still asked me to go to nurse's room " to be more comfortable" as" it's not a good thing for children to see"(???!!!) All the children were in class at the time, I just picked up my DS#3 from preschool and had to wait 15 minutes for my DS#2 to be done with Kindergarten (all in one school) . Even though it was my 5th child breastfeeding and even though I knew she was wrong and (in Michigan)broke the law, I still felt humiliated somehow and self-concious after that. I think it was the first time anyone had said anything negative about breastfeeding to me.
My DH printed out articles about how it's illegal in MI to discriminate against BF mothers and gave it to her for "educational purposes".
I went on BF my son and everyone after that but I still have a huge dislike towards that person.
Why am I writing this? To let you know that there are people who - I think - are feeling guilty that they didn't or couldn't BF so they will try to spoil it for those who are making an effort.
I am really in awe with you for taking this extra step for your Addie's benefit! I learned that being relaxed about it also helps. On some days I would have low supply and baby would always be hungry, I caved in and gave the bottle and then nursed more often later.
Sorry for such a long post.
I'm so proud of you for making the decision! I wish I could have some advice for you, a lot of people think it's weird to breastfeed a child that isn't "yours". I think it's wonderful, and natural. Julia will have a TON of information for you if yoiu're not wanting to use domperidone to get your milk in. I think you *can* successfully get milk without it. I think you *can* do whatever YOU want. As for telling people, I'd wait and bring it up casually in conversation at an appropriate time. If you don't treat it as anything unusual hopefully they'll be more relaxed. It's hard, but you're obviously so committed that you can overcome people's discomfort. You're awesome Sandy.
Asha, what a terrible experience to go through! I would've felt really self-conscious and humiliated too. And yayyyy for DH printing out that for her - that's so funny! Thank you for sharing, it helps me to know that you went ahead and BF anyway even after what that @$$ said to you!
Nadine, thank you! I don't think I'm amazing, I just want to give Addie every benefit possible. She's been in an orphanage all her life, and she's going to get the best possible "rest of her life" that I can possibly give her! At least, that's my hope.
Thank goodness you are Addie's Mom! Just remember that YOU are her MOM and know what is best for her.
I would tell your friends and family straight-faced with no room for humor or comments but in an informative way. "i've done a lot of research on the subject and found that adoptive mothers are perfectly capable physically to BF their child. Obviously for both the emotional and health benefits I would love to BF her so with the aid of a little device that is what we are going to do." Period, the end.
I really like that approach, Elicia. That is most likely what I will end up doing! I really don't want to invite a lot of comments about it, so when it comes up, I'll probably just say it matter-of-factly. You're awesome.
You are so welcome. Grrrrr. I get angry thinking of anyone questioning or looking twice at you for BF'ing your child. Just tune out the ignorance, Sandy. (holding fingers in ears and closing eyes) LALALALALALALALALALALA....
Well I can't find it anyways so that's good! LOL Yes it helps healthy lactation
The new house is coming along wonderfully! It's so fun to be in it for the holidays.
I love Elicia's approach too, that's exactly how I do it and I find when I explain in a confident matter a fact way, almost no one questions me - body language, tone of voice and how you handle/word yourself speaks volumes I think
And that's right hun, you stand strong! Don't let others ignorance take away from something as beatiful as breastfeeding
LOL your dh sounds like mine - anytime my milk came in he'd announce "The titty fair HAS ARRIVED!" he's such a nut IL ove nursing bra's though, I have several really prety ones and several really fun print ones like tye dye, lepoard, polka dot lol
It's interesting what motherhood does to you, how I thought I would parent and how I actually parent is drastically different - I'm very strict with my children but it's in a very AP sort of way, so I agree that you can have both, many ppl think we just let them run amok w/out discipline b/c we believe they should tell us what to do, that couldn't be further from the truth You should come and visit us on the AP board, LOTS of nice mama's there!
Julia - I do lurk on the AP board frequently! Which brings me to this - I am soooooo excited for you and DH that you're TTC one more!!! That is sooooo amazing, I can't wait until next Thursday!!!! Good luck!!!!! :bighug:
Merry Christmas Sandy!!!
You will soon get to hold your little Christmas gift. You are on the home stretch now! Your dream seemed so beautiful and peaceful... I'm sure that's how it will be in real life.
Take care and Merry Christmas to you and your DH.
I just noticed that after I mentioned it LOL It's fun to see you over there
And thanks hun - it was a TUFF decision, but it seemed the more we told ourselves "maybe 1 more bio in the future, but right now were going to adopt" the more difficult it became, but once we decided to just go for it and have 1 more bio, get dh fixed & then adopt everything sort of fell into place - so we knew we had our answer.
The dream you had was SO sweet Sandy! And ya know - it IS real - your almost there hun!! I can understand why you'd be sad though, it's not happening RIGHT NOW & that has to be hard ((((hugs))))
wwahooo on the being able to buy more baby stuff too, how fun!!
I am so excited for you, Julia! That is wonderful. I hope you get your little butterfly this time, although I know you would be just as happy with another little prince!
Oh Gosh it is so sad about little Emma! What a tragic pairing! I don't know if it's because of adoption that she died. I fear that there are a lot of bio-parents as well , who are not ready for the demands of a baby.... sadly. Poor little Emma, this shouldn't have happened!
I definitely agree, Asha, I don't think adoption caused her death. But unfortunately, a lot of people who want children badly but can't have them on their own are apparently adopting these poor kids with no idea of what to expect. Lack of understanding leads to low tolerance for these babies (because the parents don't truly think of the kids as "theirs") and ultimately leads to cases like Emma's. It's so heartbreaking. I've read three such cases in the past two months. The adoptive parents always say things like, "I didn't know what to do... no one had told me what to expect." Depressing.
Oh that breaks my heart She was a beautiful little baby too, I think your post is a good reminder & I'm glad you posted it ((Hugs))
I said it on the AP board, but :bighug: . Are you doing okay?
Your so sweet Sandy Yea, I'm doing okay :bighug:
That is such a sweet story of how your song, became your song! It really sounds like you and your dh have such a great relationship, I know I've said it before but your little Addie is SO lucky!!
I loved this song back when it first came out, it is so soothing... They don't play it as much anymore but today I just decided to turn the radio on and this song was playing!!! I thought of you.
I don't understand the phrase:" it was all yellow"
Does it mean : it was all good, was yellow her favorite color? I still love the song (lucky Gwyneth) but I never understood, why yellow?
Asha, according to what I've read, Chris Martin said that the word "yellow" just seemed to "fit" there, and it sounded nice to them. There was no real hidden meaning to it! And apparently, the song wasn't written about romantic love, it was meant to be about a brotherly love for someone you admire. Interesting, eh?
I hope you get some comfort in talking to your Dad. I hope he treats you with respect and doesn't play any mind games with you. Be strong and be cautious! For the rest of our lives-I think- we stay little children when we deal with our parents. We want to please them and seek their approval and love... I hope your Dad realises what a generous gift you are giving him by giving him a second chance. I wish you luck and will be thinking of you.
Hi Sandy! How are you feeling tonight? I'm sorry to hear you've been sick - the flu bug sure has been hitting hard this year.
I hope God whispers in your ear tonight, "Sleep tight little one, you have been chosen" just as God whispered to us that we have been chosen too. Mommy and Daddy love you, Adriana.
That totally made me tear up.
About your parents. I really couldn't of said it better than Asha, she worded it so beautifully. You'll be in my prayers.
Thanks, ladies. I am glad I cut off ties with them. I have grown so much since I left, and they have not grown at all. They are still the same avoiding/manipulating people they always were. Sad to see, but I think I have to think about my future and my family now. Asha, you're absolutely right - there's just something about parents that's so hard to turn your back on. I am just glad Addie will never have to go through all of this.
It means so much to me to have your support, both of you. Thank you.
It sounds like things went exactly how you expected - It made me smile to see that your parents saw how confident you are now, I think that speaks volumes!
I am glad you got to talk to them...
Sadly, the best thing, you get from them is to not be like them. Adriana's childhood is going to be much happier b/c you are an awsome Mom and you(and Tim) will give her what you didn't receive from your folks.
I was worried that they would hurt your feelings, but I'm glad you are stronger then letting them do that to you!!!