I've been communicating with my cousin whose dad died recently, and it is absolutely heartbreaking to hear all the thoughts and doubts he has going on in his mind. I am praying for him everyday.
I am also praying for Sarah (uropachild). I knew her from the TTC boards, and learned yesterday that Zane, her baby, passed away on the 16th. I can't imagine what Sarah must be feeling/thinking. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. She is such a special person, and I am heart-broken for her.
*Deep breath* Okay, here is a replay of the conversation I JUST had with our program coordinator (PC):
Me: I just wanted to call and see if you guys got the last part of our dossier and the fee we sent.
PC: Oh yes, we did! Thanks so much for calling, I actually have something to tell you. (Tells me about some paperwork)
Me: Okay, sounds good. So can you tell me what the process is now? When do we get on the waiting list?
PC: Well... you guys are already on the waiting list! And... you're number one!
Me: Are you serious??!?
PC: Yes! In fact, I've been in touch with the coordinator in India, and she's already picked out a few children for you that would be appropriate referrals.
Me: Oh my God!!!!!
PC: When I go to India next week, I will look at the children, and when I get back, we should have a referral for you really soon!
Me: Are you serious?? Oh my God!!!!!!!!!!
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!?!?!?!?!!?! DH and I are in COMPLETE shock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!
I am really happy to say that we talked to DH's parents tonight, and they were really happy and excited for us! I don't know if I've mentioned this in my previous posts, but they always seemed luke-warm to the idea of us adopting, and never really brought it up unless we mentioned it first. This used to hurt my feelings, because they are the BEST in-laws in the world, and I didn't understand why they were so unsupportive when it came to one of the most important things in our lives. Well, I guess it was just like the ladies on the adoption forum said - they just didn't feel it was "real" enough. But when they saw the website I sent out saying we were #1 on the waiting list, they called us and were so happy and excited! It was awesome. They asked all these questions about the baby and us travelling to India, and they even said they're going to fly back with me when I come home from fostering her in India and stay with us here for a couple of weeks. They told us they were warning us in advance that they are totally going to spoil the baby! It was really, really cute. I am so glad everything worked out!
Hmm, sometimes I wish I were more decisive!! Right now we're faced with two options, and DH doesn't have a preference, so I'm stuck with being the deciding factor. Here are the options, maybe it'll help me to have them typed out:
DH comes with me to India for the first month we are there. This way, we can see the baby for the first time together. We will also be together for what will be most likely the more challenging month of the two that I'll spend there fostering her.
DH comes to India for the second month that I'm there. This way, I won't have to fly back alone all the way across the world with an infant all by myself. DH would also be there at the court proceedings, which would be nice to have some moral support.
They both sound good, but he definitely can only come for one month. What should we do??
DH and I had a talk last night, and I guess he really does have a preference... he said he wanted to be there to see our daughter for the first time together. He said he wants to share that incredible experience with me, and laugh and cry together. How can I say no to that?? So I guess it's decided... he'll be going for the first three weeks! I figure it will be hard with a baby, but it won't be impossible. Plus, I only have to make it on one long flight from India to America, and then I'll have my IL's to help me the rest of the way home, which is the part with all the icky layovers. I have to say, I feel pretty good about this decision!! DH and I will see baby Adriana together, and we'll all get acquainted with each other at the same time.
Oops, forgot to add - I have to tell my boss about leaving for India for two whole months tomorrow. I am nervous, because I truly don't know what she's going to say. She knows we're adopting, and from India, but I never told her about the fostering bit. I wanted to wait till it was a bit closer to the time, and now that it is, I guess it's time. I am definitely going back to work when I get back, so I hope she'll just give the preschool program a rest till I get back and can start teaching again. But if she doesn't, that'll be okay too. I'll just find another job. Gah, this is hard! I hope she does okay with it.
Blah. DH and I have been bickering a lot this past week or two. I know it's just the stress of the adoption, but gosh, it's hard. We're one of those couples that rarely even snaps at each other, but lately we have been getting on each other's nerves a lot. And about stupid stuff too!! Like right now, we were talking about baby products like the Boppy and the Bumbo. DH was saying how he thinks babies would be fine without it, and manufacturers are just bringing out these things to make parents think they can't live without them. He was saying how babies have been brought up for centuries without those products, so why do we need them now. Well, I told him that those products are designed to make a parent's life easier as well as help a baby grow and develop better. So we just went back and forth and then ended up getting really irritated with each other. What's wrong with us?? We never did this before! Blah.
Wow, we are having a really tough time with our adoption loan. The banks are all balking at the fact that we want $20,000. So right now we're asking DH's parents to cosign. We need at least $15,000 to pay the referral fee. And the rest of the money was going to travel and lodging, but I guess we'll just have to scrape that up ourselves. Ugh. I just don't want to get a referral and have to turn it down because we don't have a loan! We thought it would be easy because our credit scores are so good, but apparently not. I really hope this works out. And soon.
I do have some good news, though! I told my boss about having to leave for two months to go to India and foster our baby, and she was really cool about it. She even said she's going to hold my job for me since I want to go back to work when we get home. I'm going to train my close friend to take over the preschool classroom for the two months that I'm gone, but after that I get to go back full time. Yay!! So glad to have that out of the way!
I also got hired on the spot for my 2nd job today. I'm going to be working at Maurice's, which is a clothing store that's just opening here in our little town. It's a temp job, so they just need me through the holiday season, which is perfect. That way I don't look like a dirtbag when I quit my job two months into it.
There's still no news on the loan front. We called DH's parents yesterday, because the loan officer was supposed to have emailed them the cosigner's application, but she hadn't yet. So we called her to ask what the hold-up was, and she said she did send it. But it never got to them, not even to the spam folder. So we had her email it to us and we forwarded it to them. I hope they get it faxed off to her today. Jenny comes back from India on Sunday, and I really want to get the show on the road. I need to ask her how long we can hold on to a referral before we accept, just in case it comes super quick and we don't have a loan yet. Aah, so much stress. I just want this part to be over with!! You think Paris Hilton's dad would adopt me?
DH and I talked yesterday about us bickering all the time. We realized that it was just the stress of funding the adoption, and we promised to both be better about it. We just need to remember we're on the same team, and be calm about it. It's hard, but I know we can do it. I hate bickering with him, it makes me feel even more stressed out.
I'm thinking about calling some sitters in our area who do in-home daycare for two or three kids in their home to see who's a likely candidate as far as being good for her, and how much they charge. That way we can figure out where we want to send her and then just apply for an opening once we bring her home.
I just got a call from the consulate, and they're still working on my passport! I was supposed to have it back this week. Oh well. Just as long as I have it before we have to leave, I think I'll be okay.
We just got back from taking all three of our pets to the vet for shots and nail trimming! Phew! That was an ordeal! I am just glad it's over with. They had to put a tiny little muzzle on our little Pom/Min Pin girl because she gets mean sometimes. She looked so pathetic with it on! DH and I had a fairly easy time because we put the kitty and the meanie in their crates, and our cocker spaniel is always well-behaved.
DH's parents called to say that they faxed in the loan paperwork really early this morning. DH is going to call the lady tomorrow and ask how long it'll take to process that. Hopefully we will know by early next week!