An email I sent to our program coordinator:
Hi Jenny! Welcome back from India! Hope your trip went well! I just wanted to email you really quick and ask if **** ever sent you a revised copy of our homestudy. We haven't heard anything from our social worker there, so we're hoping no news is good news.
We are sooo looking forward to our referral, and we'd love any news you might have on that front when you have a moment! Thanks so much for everything!!
Does that sound pushy?? She's been back since Sunday, and I just want to know if she "kinda" knows which baby girl we're going to get for a referral! It's a long shot, but I couldn't NOT ask!
Still no email from Jenny! God, I am so impatient! This is what I mean by hating weekends - she doesn't work in the office on Fridays, so now we have to wait till Monday for even a hope of a referral. Grr! Although I must say, I am feeling very, very lucky to be at this stage!
In other news, I am soooo ready for a break! I'm hoping I won't have to teach afternoon preschool today, and that way I'll get a nice, long break before I go into work tonight. And luckily I don't work this weekend or the next!
The phone rang early this morning and I thought it was a referral! But it turned out I had taken some keys home with me from work last night and they wanted me to bring them back. God, I have to calm down! I can't imagine being this strung up until our referral comes in God knows how long!
DH is working on the baby's changing table and dresser. In fact, he took three days off work just to do that! It's sooooo beautiful! I wanted it to match our baby's room and it does. It's got a contemporary/minimalist design just like her crib, and he's painting it white. We bought these cute little pink and white wicker baskets to put in it. I can't wait to see the finished product! He said it should be done today. That is the last piece of furniture for the baby's room.
1. You have to be 25 or older to adopt.
This is not necessarily true. If you're single, then yes, you do have to be 25 to adopt internationally. But if you're married, the US govt doesn't have an age restriction. However, if you're adopting internationally, you have to adhere to the age requirements of the country you're adopting from. Also, states have their own age requirements.
2. You have to have a lot of money to adopt.
Not true. However, it does help if you make a good amount of money and you're financially stable. Just make sure you don't have a lot of debt, and that your credit score is good. Also, if you have a lot of equity built up on your home, you will be good to go.
3. You have to be infertile to adopt.
Not true at all! Plenty of people who just don't want to birth a biological child adopt. Some agencies give preference to people with infertility, but most don't.
4. You have to be childless to adopt.
Not necessarily. Some countries do prefer that you have no children, or only one child to adopt. Just check with your agency on the specifics.
5. International adoption is going to get harder and harder because of the Hague convention.
Yes and no. Some countries (like Guatemala) will be harder to adopt from, whereas other countries (like India) will stay the same because not all countries are going to enter into the Hague Convention.
6. All adopted children come home with medical/emotional issues.
Not true. Some do, and that's a fact. But definitely not all. Of course, when you take a child out of an orphanage and bring him/her home to a quiet house where he/she is the only child, you have to expect some adjustment. But this does not mean the child is sick in any way. Many countries, though they may be poor, give their orphans everything they can afford to give them, including loving and caring caregivers.
7. You cannot breastfeed an adopted child.
Not true! You can induce lactation and an adopted child can be breastfed, just like a bio child would be. It is the choice of each individual mom whether or not to pursue this.
Hmm, that's all I can think of for now! I'll add more as I think of them.
We were talking to DH's parents tonight, and they said they have almost all of DH's baby storybooks and some other stuff that they want Adriana to have! I thought that was so cool... she'll have her daddy's books! They are in great condition, too. DH is building her a bookcase next.
I forgot to add this - when we were talking to DH's parents last night, they were sooo cute, especially DH's dad. He kept referring to the baby as "Adriana", as in... "When Adriana comes home" or "Adriana will be cold". It was soooo cute!! I can tell he's going to be such a protective grandpa! I don't refer to her as Adriana yet, I don't know why. Maybe I'm feeling a bit superstitious.
I called Jenny a little while ago and left a voicemail to ask her if she had any news on the referral side of things. She never answered my email, and she does that when it's really busy, but she's very good about returning phone calls. So hopefully I'll hear something by the end of the day today! I'll be sure to update.
I'm making DH's parents this calendar for Christmas. It's a 2007 calendar, and I'm "scrapping" it so that when we get Adriana's pictures developed every month, they can just glue the picture into the right spot and they'll have a grandparents calendar! I'll be sure to take some pictures when I get it all finished.
Well, it's almost time to get back to work! More later!
I didn't have time to update this on my lunch break, but I finally spoke with Jenny today! She said that she's just been super busy after getting back from India, which is what I had figured. She said she did go to the orphanage that our daughter is coming from, and saw all the babies personally. They are all healthy, perfect little girls waiting to be referred to parents! She said the Indian agency coordinator said that she will pick a child for us immediately (read: THIS week), but since they have to put together a child study packet and referral packet, and then mail it out to Jenny who will then get it to us, Jenny said it was probably going to take 2-2.5 weeks!!!!! Can you believe that????????? We're going to be PARENTS in 2-2.5 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am sooooo exhilarated, impatient and excited all at the same time!!!!!
For some reason, on all our registries, I had been putting that we'd be getting a referral on November 24. And on a little calendar I made counting down to Referral Day (yes, I'm a dork! ) I put down November 24 too. Well, I was calculating it out yesterday and it turns out the 24th is exactly 2.5 weeks from yesterday! Weird! DH thinks we'll get a referral on the 17th - he is wayyyyy too optimistic! I'm going to hold on to my prediction of the 24th.
Feels like everything's falling into place. Got a call from the bank today... we just have to go sign some papers, and they'll deposit the loan into our savings account. Yay!! We knew we were going to get it, but it's still a relief that it's so concrete now! And this week's almost over, so one more week and we'll be in referral territory!!