Woo hoo!!!! DH found out that he's getting promoted April 1st!!! Yeah!!!! This means that we will start the paperchase in May 2006!!!! I am soooo excited!!!!!
So far we haven't told anyone, but I am sure once we start the paperwork I wll be hurting to tell people! I have to remember not to, though. Since the process might take a long time, it will get frustrating if people keep asking when we're brining Ria home. Oh yeah, that's another thing - we decided we're definitely going with Ria for the first name! It's so nice to be able to refer to our daughter as Ria. Feels really good. DH likes Lee for a middle name, but we're not 100% sure yet about using it. I like it, but he's having second thoughts. He thinks Ria Lee sounds a little awkward to say. We have a long time to figure out a name, so I am not worried about it.
We figured out our monetary plan last night, and we're in much better shape than I had thought! That makes me really happy. It's going to be so much easier with DH's promotion! Oh, and he paid off one of the cars today! Woo hoo!! It's officially ours. Add one asset to our fund! We think we're probably going to get a loan to cover most of the big expenses, and take care of the rest with cash, like the trip to India.
Right now we're looking at two agencies - Dillon International and Children's House International. Both of them look really good, although Dillon only has one orphanage that they work with (might extend our wait for a referral), and CHI is kind of hard to find people who have worked with them. I've posted on my forums and am just waiting for a response. It's great that we have two wonderful agencies to pick from, though! Good options.
Some middle names I've been thinking about:
I'm a little confused. I posted on the Sept 2004 birth board about bringing Ria home when she's between 1 and 2, and they said to buy a toddler bed vs a crib bed, so she wouldn't climb out. But online, it seems like they sell toddler beds for girls 3 and up, so all the themes are pretty mature. Does that mean we have to choose? Because I want to get her something more geared towards a baby, without barbies on it . Well, I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
I think we're in pretty good shape as far as all our paperwork. The only thing I forsee us having a problem with is my birth certificate. It's pretty old and ratty, and it's from India, so I don't know how they go about notarizing that.
Geez, I've got to get on a more normal sleep schedule! I woke up at 3:30 AM and couldn't get back to sleep. But I guess being a jobless college student with adoption on the brain will do that to ya.
I've been corresponding with this really sweet lady via email who's in the HS part of the process. She seems like she's really researched all her agencies, and she told me her honest opinion on a lot of them. I am so glad to have her as a resource! She's caused me to learn a lot of things I never would've thought about. She told me about another agency I was kinda sorta looking at. It's called MAPS, and it's a Maine based adoption program. I have an information packet coming in from them as well. They have exclusivity with three orphanages, and therefore significantly shorter wait times for a referral. I hope they come through, because that would be awesome! The faster we can get to our little girl the better! <---- Hmm, I meant that to be a mommy holding her baby, but it says it's a BFing momma! Oh well, that'll work too.
Later today I'm going to call my old employer, Scott, and ask him if he'd like me to come work for him again for a few hours a week. Hope he says yes! It'll be great to add the $ I make to our savings account. The money from the business is still going back into the business because it's so new. But if he doesn't need me, it won't be a big deal. We're doing fine either way. But it would be nice to contribute. When you really think about it, $15,000 seems like such a pittance for a lifetime of love from a child. With tax credits from the government and adoption credits from the military, we'll have that paid off by the following tax year. But our little girl will be with us forever - we'll get to watch her learn, and grow up, get married, have a career and kids, if she wants that. She's going to be a little miracle happening right in our house.
I called my ex-boss, Scott, to talk with him about me going back part-time. Turns out he's out of the office all this week. Go figure. BUT, I did speak to his office manager, and she said, "Oooh! I know he was looking for someone for Tuesdays and Thursdays. Let me have him call you back!" And also, the other PT that works there crossed her fingers and had the office manager ask me if I was free on Tuesdays and Thursdays. So it's looking pretty good, so far. I can do two days a week, that'll be a nice change.
I'm going to go work out with my friend at the gym today. We work out Mondays and Wednesdays, and it's really been fun! She's in really good shape, so it gives me something to work towards. Plus, she's really nice about me not being in tip top physical shape! That's always a plus.
DH and I have decided that we're not going to buy anything for the baby until after we get the referral. I told him once we get the paperwork all sent in, and the HS done, I'd like to buy something small, like an outfit. But all the big stuff will be after we get the referral.
I emailed Dillon's Indian adoption rep, and I guess their website was a little misleading. According to her, people will wait 2-2.5 years to bring their kids home! She said the wait will be slightly shorter for us since I'm Indian, but not by much. Also, their license is getting renewed in May 2007 and anyone that's in the system at that time will just be in limbo until they get their license back. I don't like the sound of that. I think we'll be able to cross Dillon off our list once I talk to DH. I hope the other agencies' waits aren't that long!!
Geez, I've gotta stop posting in here so much! It's just that I feel this constant need to talk about babies, or adoption, or Ria, or her room and I know DH is about to me soon! Not that he would ever say it, he's too sweet. So this is my sounding board! This must be how newly expectant mothers feel - always talking about their pregnancies! Gosh, think how bad I'll be when we actually have a referral picture!
I was reading a post on the Adoption Option board, and it got me thinking. I can start gathering up paperwork for the whole adoption process now while I wait. That'll give me something to do, AND it will take my mind off the waiting! Plus, all this paperwork just stresses me out, so the sooner I can get things together, the better.
I'm back! I didn't get to bed until 4 AM this morning! Yikes. I really need to get on a better schedule, especially if I'm going to get a job soon. No more college student hours!
Anyway, while I was wide awake, I've been pouring through Yahoo's listings of adoption agencies, and kids waiting. It seems like there are a ton of minority infants in the system that are waiting for homes. People apparently will not adopt them based solely on their skin color. Call me naive, but I think that's hideous. If you're waiting for a child, how can you say no to a minority infant just because of the fact that they're dark?? Anyway, I called an agency called PLAN who has this type of program and requested an information packet. I don't know if we'll go through with it or not, but it does seem appealing. For one, I don't care what my child looks like as long as the child needs a good, loving home. And for two, the children are younger when they come home, you know more about their medical history and most minority infant adoptions are closed adoptions, which does appeal to me. I wouldn't mind an open adoption either, but I guess a closed one is more familiar. The agency is located in OR which is not too far from here, so hopefully their packet gets here in a couple of days. I will have to ask DH what he thinks, although I know he's going to be fine with it. We had looked into AA adoptions in November as well. He might think I'm flakey for wanting to adopt every child that needs a home, though! :P And I know I do, but I'm only one person! I have to remember that. I cannot bring every child into my home that needs one. A tough pill to swallow.
Edited To Add:
Well, I guess I should change the name of this journal now! DH and I talked and we've decided to go the domestic route! We definitely still want to adopt an Indian girl, but we talked about which we wanted to do first. We decided to go with the AA infant adoption because:
1. DH is getting out of the Air Force in 2008, and we might not have our little girl from India before then. (Slim possibility, but a possibility none the less)
2. We want to contribute something to the domestic adoption side of things, and we've always known we wanted to adopt more than just one child.
3. The wait would be significantly shorter, and since we are childless, this means everything to us (especially me) right now!
We could have a baby by the end of this year!! That is just crazy! But I am so excited - we have so much to do and plan for! Here's our timeline that we came up with:
May 2006: Start Homestudy
July 2006: As soon as HS is done, turn in application to agency
And then the waiting starts! The program that we're looking at right now says the average wait is anywhere from 1-6 months if you don't specify gender (which we're not). Isn't that nuts????? 1-6 MONTHS!!!!! I am seriously on right now! We were talking about getting a crib and everything and I had butterflies in my tummy. This is getting to be more and more real everyday! DH wants to make the baby's changing table/dresser himself, so that will save us a lot of money. We're also going to register at a bunch of places because I know his family will want to buy us all kinds of stuff! This is the first grandchild for his parents, and the first great grandchild for his maternal grandma! That will help us out a lot! Plus, I know it would mean the world to them. When we first got married, we didn't have to buy any of the big stuff ourselves because they bought it all for us! All we had to say was, "This is what we want." And his mom's already told us that when we register, we have to let her know so she can buy us all the stuff we want. They are the best, we are truly lucky to have such a supportive extended family!
Wow, I actually went to bed at a normal time and woke up at a normal time today! I am so impressed with myself!
I am getting my eyebrows waxed!! They really need it, too! I'm one of those people that think if your hair is neat and your eyebrows are waxed, you can get away with very little makeup! I'm silly, I know.
Oh! I got an email from this lady who told me about an adoption agency near here who hold classes for adoptive parents. One of those is "Transracial Adoption". I think I might ask DH if he's able to take leave that day and the next day so we can go (the place is an hour from here and it's at night). I know he said he's supposed to go TDY for a class in April, so hopefully this won't clash with that. But they have the classes on a rotating schedule, so it doesn't really matter. Plus, we have this really awesome book on Transracial Adoption that we bought from B&N back in November. I haven't read all of it yet, but it seems to address a lot of issues. I'll have to remember to recommend it to the ladies on my Adoption forums.
So far I've requested information from WACAP and PLAN. From all the research I've been doing these are the two agencies I like the most. I know WACAP has a really good reputation. PLAN is a little smaller, and based in OR, so I haven't been able to get a lot of information about them. They only do domestic adoptions for people who live in OR, but they do Minority Infant adoptions for families throughout the US. The lady I spoke with at their office (I believe she was the office manager) was very sweet and helpful. I'm hoping she represents the whole agency, or at the very least, the coordinator for our program!
I gotta go get ready to leave for the salon. I'll write more later!
Well, I'm back from the salon! My eyebrows look awesome. Shawnna always does such a great job! While I was there, I was playing with her 6 month old son. He is soooo beautiful!! I love that kid. He's part AA, and he is the most gorgeous baby. He has these gorgeous green/blue/gray/hazel eyes, and the sweetest disposition. He's always laughing and talking and cooing. I can't wait! It's going to be so nice to be able to say all those things about my own child! (Well, except for the eye color, unless he/she has the same unique eye color!)
DH and I were talking about names again last night (obviously Ria won't work anymore!). For boys, the only ones we kinda sorta agreed on were Marcus, Nathaniel and Luke. DH likes Sean a lot too, but I'm not so sure. I like Noah, but he doesn't. This is going to be a hard process! For girls I really like Samara, but we didn't get to girls' names before we fell asleep.
It was soooo cute, last night we were talking about how we could very well have a baby as soon as November or December! I was jumping and up and down with excitement, and DH started to get first time dad jitters! I think it just slammed into him that we're going to have a BABY, and soon!! With Ria, it was like, well, we don't know exactly when, but probably at the end of 2007. But with the domestic adoption, it's like, we don't know when, but probably really soon! He started flipping out about, oh my god, we don't have anything prepared for the baby, and we need to get a bigger insurance policy so the baby isn't ever left without anything if we die, and I need to start making his/her changing table, etc. etc. It was adorable. I could tell he was so excited, but really nervous at the same time! I just reassured him and explained how I had been thinking of all of this for a year now! We are definitely going to be prepared for the baby, we just need to calm down and take it one month at a time. The way I see it, each month we should buy something for the baby - onesies, diapers, crib, bedding, etc. And of course, register as soon as we get approved by the agency and are placed on the waiting list. That way everyone has time to buy us stuff and have it mailed to us. I was so glad to see DH all excited and bouncing around! I guess it's just different for guys - they need tangible evidence that this is going to happen SOON before they're able to get all hyper like most women do at the very beginning.
I was thinking about it, and I think we'll have a welcome home party for the baby about a month after he/she comes home. That way everyone can come and see the baby without us feeling overwhelmed when everything is really new. And I think we'll ask his parents if they can come visit us too, so that we don't have to make the all day flying trip with a little one! I am sure they'd be more than happy to.