Check out the nursing supplementer system I'm going to get! www.lact-aid.com It's a little bag that you can fill with formula, and has a little tube running out of it. You attach the tube to your nipple, and encourage the baby to suck. The baby finds that she gets nutrition by sucking, so she is positively reinforced to suck. The baby sucking also encourages your body to produce milk on its own, even if it has never done so before. I think this will be the healthiest way for me to go, because a lot of those lactation induction drugs haven't been thoroughly studied for side effects yet. The baby and I'll get the positive emotional experience that goes with BF'ing, and if I produce any milk, that'll be a nice perk too! I've been reading up a lot on this, and I'm excited to try! DH is sooo supportive; he was someone that thought it was "weird" to breastfeed an adopted child, but when I explained the process to him he completely understood and came around. I told him all about the emotional part of it, and how the woman's lactation "system" works, and he was genuinely interested to learn more. He's going to be such a wonderful dad! I love how open-minded he is.
My current dilemma:
I was thinking about how to tell people (friends,acquaintances, family) about breastfeeding Addie and it makes me nervous ... to be honest, most of my friends (none that I consider really close friends) and acquaintances are not very open-minded, and I'm afraid that having negativity thrown at me about this would be discouraging. I think DH's parents would also be a little uncomfortable with the fact that I would be breastfeeding an adopted child - not because they're not open-minded but simply because they are not educated about it. Also, I'm dreading having to tell the baby's pediatrician... let's just say all the military docs I've met here so far have been far from enlightened about anything that has developed past the 70's. I am sure at some point I will need to nurse her in front of a friend or acquaintance, and I'm a little worried about it. I know I should just tell people this is what we chose and they can %^$ off if they don't like it, but I am afraid I will be so new at it and feeling insecure, that I might just break down and lose it. DH, I know, will be my rock through this and will help me to keep going, but... I am still a little worried. Obviously he won't be able to be around everytime someone says something, so I'll have to learn how to be quick-witted and thick-skinned about it. It's something I believe in 100%, so at least I have that on my side! I refuse to be put off by uneducated people! Rarrrr!! (My power-woman roar)
Yes, I am feeling a wee bit impatient. Gosh, it's been three weeks today since we were told Addie was identified for us! Since then, we've had little teasers of information, but nothing really concrete. I am so, so thankful to be at this stage, but really, I am starting to get annoyed. I know adoption is all about the wait; in fact, the wait is said to be akin to childbirth in how painful and traumatic it can be - but jeez! Come on, already! Just sign the damn paperwork!
Anyway, I have been a lot more proactive about breastfeeding than I had expected. The more I read about it, the more enthusiastic I feel. DH is of course, his usual supportive self, telling me which nursing bras I'll look good in etc. I told him the point is not to look good, it's to be comfortable! Then he said, "Why can't you do both?" Darn it. I hate when he's right.
Speaking of nursing bras, I guess I should go in to Motherhood Maternity one of these days and get fitted. I have no clue if nursing bra sizes are measured differently from regular bras. I'm thinking I'll get two nursing bras and one nursing camisole. I actually saw one on the BRU website that I might get. I tried just pushing my bra cup aside to see how it would feel, and it made me kind of sore. I don't think I could endure that for 20 minutes. And I am all for breastfeeding in public, but I don't think I want to pull up my shirts (most of them are stretchy around the neck but not button down). I am not quite that daring yet!
The lady at the modelling agency emailed me to ask me when I was going to submit my portfolio. I had to tell her all that's on hold now. Like I have the time or the inclination to get head shots and profile pictures done now! Plus, if she actually got me some work, I'd have to put it on hold while we went to India and got Addie adjusted, and that's just too much trouble. I'll just get into it when we come back and are more settled. My daughter comes first, after all! Catalogs will be around forever, they can wait.
I heard from Jenny today about the care package. She said that it would be best to wait once we have the official referral. Apparently, we'll have to send the care package over to Jenny's office, and she will send it over to India with the next family who travels to Pune. So there goes my plan of sending a care package every month till we travel! But at least I found out that we should only send over two-piece outfits or dresses, since they don't use onesies at all. *Sigh* Well, I am ready for Christmas to be over so we can have a hope of a referral!!
When I first heard about Attachment Parenting, I laughed. I thought, no way am I going to do that with my child! They need discipline, a routine, etc. etc. never realizing that you can have those things with AP too! I was looking at all my "beliefs" about mommyhood, and realized they all really smack of AP. I guess I just had to get close to having Addie to realize what kind of mom I want to be. Some things I plan to do:
- Breastfeed, or at least try really hard
- Child-led weaning
- Co sleep
- Wear my baby
- No spanking
- Lots of touch - infant massage, etc.
- No CIO
- Most likely be a SAHM or only work 3 hours a day
Soooo, definitely looks AP, doesn't it?? I still haven't made up my mind about how to approach the feeding thing. I have to look more into child-led feeding versus the feeding method they describe in the Baby Whisperer. I was just thinking about all this last night, and realized how differently I view motherhood and bonding with my child now that I'm at this stage! When we were TTC and even when we first started the adoption process, I never would've guessed I would be this way.
Addie's stuff came today from Old Navy. I almost cried as I was taking it all out of packaging. I hate her being so far away this time of year!! And for so long. It feels like I've been waiting years instead of days. Must...be....strong... Garr. I've got to snap out of this funk!!
Feeling a lot more positive today! I just have to keep it in my sight that we are SO much farther along than we were just two months ago! We have a BABY waiting for us, we are so blessed. Also, last night DH and I wrapped up a few things we had bought for Addie and put it under the tree. We are going to give it to her when we see her in the spring. That helps me a lot! I am glad we have presents for her under the tree now. It was really bumming me out that DH's parents didn't send her anything for her first Christmas. Even though she's not here, it would've been nice for her to be acknowledged. But that's okay, I can't expect them to think like I do. It's probably not even as close to being real to them as it is to us! So her mommy and daddy took charge and put presents under the tree for her. Now I feel like it's been made right. My baby girl will open her presents in just a few months!
Read an awesome article about breastfeeding an older infant (older being over 4 months). It gave me a lot of hope that she will latch on! Like I had suspected, it might take a while but I think I have the right attitude. I feel like I know it'll take a long time and be frustrating at times, but I am willing to stick with it to the end. And if I get weary along the way, that's what DH is for - my cheering squad! Here's the article, if anyone's interested: http://www.lalecheleague.org/llleade...tNov04p99.html
Garr, I've been going through a really hard time. It seemed like I would fluctuate between feeling down in the dumps to feeling pretty positive. Last night was terrible - I was feeling so lonely, and any mention of babies would cause me to tear up and cry. I started snapping at DH, which caused us to have an argument, and that made me feel even worse. Then I PM'd my good friend Alicia from the adoption boards, and as soon as I was done PM'ing her, I just broke down and sobbed. I went and crawled into DH's lap and he held me and comforted me. God, when did I turn into such an emotional time-bomb?? Anyway, we talked about it and then DH took me shopping to try and cheer me up. He is such a sweetheart. We got the baby another cute dress, socks, and diapers! Now that we know approximately how old she is, we are able to buy some diapers. We bought Huggies Supremes, sizes 1 and 2. Orphanage reports are rarely reliable as far as weight, so I figure we'll take some 1's, 2's and 3's. After that I felt much better. I'm still feeling a little blue, but crying really helped!
DH's parents sent us $100 each for Christmas, so guess what I bought? Yep, baby stuff! I got stuff for our trip to India (we haven't even started to touch allllll the things we need for that long trip, and it's scary!!), like a lilac Bumbo (they finally got another color besides blue!), a Boppy and a white noise handheld remote thing. It makes lots of different sounds like babbling brooke, rainforest, etc. I've read that after the noisy environment of the orphanage, babies get freaked out by the quiet when they're trying to sleep, so this will help with that. Oh, and because I spent a $100, I got a free umbrella stroller! Another thing that was on our list to take to India in case Addie or we need a break from babywearing. I can't wait for the loot to get here!