TTC to Adoption - Our Journey to Our Little One! :D - Page 25
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Thread: TTC to Adoption - Our Journey to Our Little One! :D

  1. #241
    enchantedlife
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    Oh, and I forgot to write about my dream! I dreamt that the clearance came through, and we got our referral, and we were at the orphanage waiting for our baby. She was brought out, and she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen! She had curly black hair, and round chubby cheeks. I remember just looking at her thinking, Oh my God, this is my child! I remember also thinking how much I loved her, and how the love I felt was so different from anything else I had ever felt before. Then I was carrying her around in a mei tai, and she fell asleep. And I also nursed her, and she took to my breast like a pro (yeah, I wish!!)! All in all, it was a very happy dream. But then I woke up, and it depressed me, because it wasn't true. Oh well, at least I got to experience it in a dream! And I feel like our turn will come soon!

  2. #242
    enchantedlife
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    I hope everyone had a merry Christmas. We did alright for being childless and miles away from family! We called DH's parents and talked to them for a while. DH's mom said that people at her office gave her a bunch of baby things for us - I thought that was sooo sweet, especially because we've never met these people before. She said she might send some of the things over to us now or just wait until we go visit there once we have Adriana.
    I am soooo tired of not having any more information! I want to email Jenny and ask, nay, beg, if she can give us some more information. Does that sound too dramatic?? Because I'm feeling dramatic right now. I am just almost to the end of my rope... doesn't a mother deserve to know things about her baby?? *Sigh* I've just been online reading about how slow and inefficient Indian courts are when it comes to adoption, so that doesn't help either. Aargh, one more day and then MAPS will reopen! I sooo hope we hear something this week!

  3. #243
    enchantedlife
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    Warning: Child Death Mentioned

    I realize that by journaling my thoughts on adoption, I am opening myself up to both good and bad. There are people out there who will genuinely be interested in the idea, and want to open up their hearts and homes to a child or baby in need. These people realize that these children will take just as much, if not more, time and patience than a biological child. Then, there are others who might see adoption as an "easy way" to get to a baby. Please realize that if you adopt a child, life is not going to be all peaches and cream when you bring them home. You will be dealing with a host of unknown factors, and there are days when you will be miserable. PLEASE do not bring a child into your home unless you know you are ready, and have researched everything you possibly can. Why am I saying all this, you might be wondering.




    This is Emma. She was killed 8 months after she was brought home from China. Her adoptive mother is being charged with her death. The lady is said to have shaken Emma because she would not stop crying. Emma died as a result of severe brain trauma.
    There's a growing number of people in the adoption community who are shaking their babies, or otherwise abusing them, and ultimately killing them. This is supposed to be due to the fact that people see these babies as an easy way out of infertility. They do not realize that these babies require work, time and patience. They are not problem-fixers.
    I cannot tell you how much it hurts my heart to read this. I thought since I have an adoption journal, and might influence someone's decision to adopt someday even in the slightest way, I have an obligation to write this post.
    Thanks for reading.

  4. #244
    enchantedlife
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    DH and I have decided that the best breast pump for me would be a Medela Pump In Style Advanced. I am so excited! We are going to buy it as soon as we get her official referral, and then I'll pump until we go to India (and most likely after, if she is not the best latcher)!
    Yesterday, I was working out with my iPOD on, and a song came on that I hadn't heard in a while - "Yellow" by Coldplay. It brought back a memory. When DH and I had first started dating (I was 16 and he was 17), he had told me that this song reminded him of how he feels about me. I went home and listened to it, and then it became "our song". Now, 7 years later, listening to it made me feel like this song was still "our song", but this time it symbolizes not only the way we feel about each other, but about Addie as well. The realization made me well up. Isn't it amazing the journies life takes you on? 7 years ago I would've never imagined we'd be at this stage right now. It's truly such a blessing.
    Here are the lyrics, if anyone's interested/has no clue what I'm talking about :

    Yellow
    by Coldplay

    Look at the stars,
    Look how they shine for you,
    And everything you do,
    Yeah, they were all yellow.

    I came along,
    I wrote a song for you,
    And all the things you do,
    And it was called "Yellow."

    So then I took my turn,
    Oh what a thing to've done,
    And it was all yellow.

    Your skin
    Oh yeah, your skin and bones,
    Turn into something beautiful,
    And you know
    You know I love you so,
    You know I love you so.

    I swam across,
    I jumped across for you,
    Oh what a thing to do.
    Cuz you were all yellow,

    I drew a line,
    I drew a line for you,
    Oh what a thing to do,
    And it was all yellow.

    Your skin,
    Oh yeah your skin and bones,
    Turn into something beautiful,
    And you know,
    For you I'd bleed myself dry,
    For you I'd bleed myself dry.

    It's true, look how they shine for you,
    Look how they shine for you,
    Look how they shine for...
    Look how they shine for you,
    Look how they shine for you,
    Look how they shine...

    Look at the stars,
    Look how they shine for you,
    And all the things that you do.

  5. #245
    enchantedlife
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    So I have some more information on why the clearance is taking so darn long! I was talking to another couple who is also adopting a baby girl from Pune. We might actually be adopting babies from the same orphanage, I'll find out for sure when Jenny comes in from vacation. Anyway, they are a step ahead of us, and they're also waiting on a clearance of sorts. They found out that since it's New Year's day tomorrow, the agencies have all been on vacation for the past week or so. But they open up again on Tuesday. So the couple I talked to said that they expect their clearance to get pushed through sometime this week or the week after. Yay! I am really hoping that's what happens with Addie's clearance as well. Fingers crossed!

  6. #246
    enchantedlife
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    Anyone do anything exciting for New Year's Eve? DH and I were supposed to go to our friends' house, but I woke up yesterday with some kind of flu/cold thingy. I'm still sick, and of course, I have to go back to work tomorrow. Wah!
    I am so ready for tomorrow, though, because tomorrow means no more holidays!! And adoption paperwork can move freely! Yayyy!!

  7. #247
    enchantedlife
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    And just for fun, since I am sick in bed, I looked up Addie's and Tim's and my Chinese zodiac sign. Addie's a Dog and Tim and I are both Pigs. Here's what they had to say about us:



    In the West, the Dog is man's best friend, but in Chinese Astrology this Sign is a little more unpredictable than that. Dogs are loyal, faithful and honest and always stick to their firm codes of ethics. However, this Sign has trouble trusting others. It's generally quite trustworthy itself -- except for the occasional "little white lies" the Dog tells in order to make things go more smoothly. The Dog makes a wonderful, discreet and loyal friend (despite any white lies) and is an excellent listener. This Sign tends to root for the underdog and its keen sense of right and wrong makes it duty-bound to the core. The Dog's mantra seems to be, Live right, look out for the little people and fight injustice whenever possible.

    Dogs can also be rather dogmatic, too. They don't go in for light social banter; instead, they go straight for home, expostulating on the topics that are most important to them. At these times the Dog's narrow-minded or stubborn side can become apparent; this Sign has trouble staying light and calm when an important issue is at stake. This Sign can also be very temperamental; mood swings characterize its emotional life and often the Dog needs to run off to be alone in order to recuperate. Part of the problem is the result of this Sign's load of irrational fears that turn into niggling anxieties that turn into hurt feelings and occasional grouchiness. This sensitive Sign needs to warm up to others over time and gradually learn to trust them. Without that trust as a foundation, Dogs can be judgmental and coarse.

    The Dog's discerning nature does make it an excellent business person, one who can turn that picky, guarded nature into a keen sense of the truth of another's motives. Where love is concerned, Dogs often have a tough time finding the right match. They can be so anxious and overwrought in the romance dance that they'll stress their partner to the max! In any forum, this Sign is happiest when able to be quite physically active; at home or at work, the Dog will always be constructing something new or cleaning something up in order to make things better. Dogs need to work on controlling their irrational worries and would also be well-served to relax their mile-high standards, which can sometimes wind up alienating the ones they love.





    Contrary to its rather negative reputation in the West, the Pig of Chinese Astrology may be the most generous and honorable Sign of the Zodiac. Pigs are nice to a fault and possess impeccable manners and taste. They have so much of the perfectionist in them that others may be inclined to perceive them as snobs, but this is a misconception. Pigs are simply possessed of a truly luxurious nature, one that delights in finery and riches (in surroundings, food, lovemaking and otherwise). This Sign believes in the best qualities of mankind and certainly doesn't consider itself to be superior. Pigs also care a great deal about friends and family and work hard to keep everyone in their life happy. Helping others is a true pleasure for the Pig, who feels best when everyone else is smiling.

    A Pig with no one around to appreciate its giving nature is a sad sight. Pigs are so magnanimous they can appear almost saintly; this can lead some less-than-well-intentioned souls to stomp all over this Sign, and the bad news is, the Pig will take the blows! Pigs make great companions in part because of their refusal to see the more negative or base qualities in a partner, but that rose-colored view can lead to this Sign's allowing itself to be taken advantage of. Contrary to their seemingly benign dispositions, however, Pigs can be quite venomous in response to being crossed by a lover, friend or business partner.

    Pigs are highly intelligent creatures, forever studying, playing and probing in their quest for greater knowledge. They can be misinterpreted as being lazy, however, due to their love of reveling in the good stuff; this Sign could happily spend hours on end making love, napping, taking a long bubble bath or dallying over an incredible spread of rich foods. Pigs tend to make wonderful life partners due to their hearts of gold and their love of family. Even so, Pigs can be rather exclusive, choosing to spend time with those who will appreciate them most and ignore the rest of the populace. Pigs would do well to realize that there's more to life than being needed. When they open up their world to a diverse group of people, they will truly bloom.


    So Addie's going to be a stubborn little chickie, huh? Well, I already knew that - like the poor girl even had a chance with a mother like me!

  8. #248
    enchantedlife
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    Good morning, baby girl! It's a new morning there in Pune, and a brand new year! This is the year you'll be coming home to be with mommy and daddy forever... I hope you can feel that in your heart. I hope God whispers in your ear tonight, "Sleep tight little one, you have been chosen" just as God whispered to us that we have been chosen too. Mommy and Daddy love you, Adriana.

  9. #249
    enchantedlife
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    I called in sick to work today. I have MAJOR insomnia again. I've taken one sick day in almost a year, so I figured it would be okay. My boss sounded concerned and told me to just stay home and take it easy. It's SO nice working for a small company.
    Been doing a lot of soul-searching. Mostly about my family. It's hard coming to such a major life change without the support of any of my side of the family. I have a couple of aunts and uncles who have tried making contact with me, and I emailed them today. They were the bright spots in my dark childhood. Maybe we'll be able to reestablish contact again? I don't know. I just knew that I had to give it a shot. I'm so confused about it all right now, but I think that's okay too. Sometimes it's hard being an "orphan" when your parents are really alive and well. Maybe I'll be able to understand Addie better for this life experience.

  10. #250
    enchantedlife
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    Goodness, lots on the family front. In a big turn of events, my dad emailed me and wants to talk to me. He acknowleged things that had happened in my childhood. I'm calling them tonight to speak with them - wish me luck. DH thinks they're just going to hurt me again, but I think it's important that I at least try one more time. I want my dad to meet Addie. I've also been feeling all kinds of guilt about the fact that he's 60 now. I had a nightmare where he passed away without me ever talking to him again, and I don't think I could forgive myself if that happened. I have to give it a shot. I know the chances are slim that they (my mom, especially) have changed and that we can have a decent relationship. But maybe we can have one where we talk infrequently and manage not to hurt each other. I don't know. I'll update more once we talk.

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