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  1. #1
    Community Host Minx_Kristi's Avatar
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    Angry >:-|

    Hellooo

    Well, I'm just looking for some advice really and would like to know what you would do in this situation.

    A friend of mine, well I guess we were best friends although it doesn't feel like that now! She cheated with another one of my friends DBFs and ended up getting pregnant. My other friend left the IOM to move back to the UK and her ex stayed once he got the picture she wasn't interested. Anyway, he decided to be with my BFF and he hates me because he reckons I split him and my other friend up. Yea ok, whatever. Cuz I whipped ya kecks down for you, right? D*ckhead.

    Anyway, my BFF has become real distant obviously for his benefit. Me and her keep falling out over him.... well, I told her I didn't wanna hear his name and we never talked about him but she would always mention the new baby and this that and the other. She was signed off work (we work in the same place) for her whole pregnancy so far (except the last 2 weeks) and was meant to return. Well, she never and I was worried about her. Someone told me she'd split with him and so I asked her colleague (who knows everything) as I wanted to know she was ok and because of this, she flipped out. Apparently she hates that I bring him up all the time.......... I'm really sorry love but I won't utter his name I hate him that much, so why would I keep bringing him upto you? Then she started saying that when my other friend was here she never heard from me. Another BS statement because she worked all.the.time and so it would be me, dbf, bff and that silly twot doing things together!!

    Anyway, I told her to do one because I'd heard it all before and I'm too old for this petty sh*t. Like, would you honestly choose a man who treats you like sh*t over your friend?? I haven't heard from her since (about a week ago now) and I haven't contacted her. Should I just severe all ties with her and not try and rekindled our broken friendship?

    What makes me not want to is she was so good with DD, who loves her and her DS so much. DD is always asking after her DS and I don't know how to handle it.

    xx
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  2. #2
    Community Host combatcutie's Avatar
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    Kristi, this is a hard situation b/c the kids are friends. I personally would just let it go. Eventually DD will stop asking for them. A friendship is a 2 way street and you tried to be her friend by not mentioning the d*ckhead she is with. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck

  3. #3
    Posting Addict Jenn0113's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by combatcutie View Post
    Kristi, this is a hard situation b/c the kids are friends. I personally would just let it go. Eventually DD will stop asking for them. A friendship is a 2 way street and you tried to be her friend by not mentioning the d*ckhead she is with. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck
    I would have to agree. For your own benefit and stress level I'd let it go. Eventually she may come back around when they break it off. In the mean time, when your daughter asks for her friend you can just put her off a little or change the subject. At this age they tend to forget what they don't see all the time.
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  4. #4
    Posting Addict Starryblue702's Avatar
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    I kind of know what you're going through. My BFF and I have been friends since we were 11 years old (18 years now!) and ever since she got married I hardly ever see her. I know it's because her DH doesn't like me for whatever reason. Well, I know the reason... I'm pretty sure it's because while they were dating and getting married I was cheating on my husband with my boss and got pregnant by my boss. My BFF was the only person in the world that knew this, and I'm quite sure she told him, and I think because of that he has told her that he doesn't want her to hand around me, like I'm some sort of bad influence on her or something. What's frustrating is that I'm now married to my boss (have been for five years this December... and he's not my boss anymore, BTW lol) and we've since had another child and I'm pregnant again. Cheating on my first husband was a stupid and horrible mistake, and I should have just told him that I was unhappy to begin with, but it's all in the past now, and frankly I don't think my friend (or her stupid husband) should judge me, as I never have nor would I ever cheat on my DH now, as I'm truely happy and so in love (on a side note, my first hubby and I were married at 18 and were young and stupid...). Anyway, I've just come to terms with the fact that she obviously doesn't want to be friends anymore because of her judgemental husband. It really hurts, but I guess it's best because I certainly wouldn't want her to be fake around me and still try to hang out just for old time's sake. Sorry this is so long, but maybe it's for the best for you, too.
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  5. #5
    Posting Addict carg0612's Avatar
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    Kristi - I tend to agree that I think you should let it go. Don't worry too much about formally doing anything - either breaking things off forever or rekindling your friendship. Time usually has a way of working these things out and sometimes and unspoken distance is the best medicine.

    I'm sorry that your friend is having a tough time and I do understand that your kiddo and her are buddies but, again, sometimes a bit of space and silence can work wonders.

    If it turns out that after some time she's still acting weird, well, then it's all for the better that you don't talk anyway.

    People can be so sensitive and weird when in the middle of a situation. After they've had a chance to sort it out and absorb things for a while they tend to even out.

    GL - I hope you're able to work things out for the best in whatever direction you decide to go!
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    Hi Kristi,
    I'm so sorry you're having to go through this!
    I'm going through a similar situation and agree with the other Ladies that it's probably best just to let it go and hopefully it'll turn around later. I found that worrying about it just made me stressed and upset and that wasn't really good for me or my family.
    My best friend of several years recently became engaged to a man that I'm not altogether fond of (and neither is her mother for that matter). He treats her like....well....an expletive I'm not going to use and does it right in front of everyone. I've seen her go from a very independent person to someone who requires his opinion. I got so fed up that I sat down with her one night and had a very serious conversation about them, letting her know how I felt, how I saw him treating her, and how I was seeing her personality change. I wound up telling her that I will love her no matter what she chooses, but to know that I'm unhappy with how he treats her (and that I'd hurt him if he hurt her, but that's beside the point). We've since grown apart and it's sad because she's been such a big part of my DS's life and he loves her to death. But again, sometimes it's not worth the drama and people make decisions that hurt, whether they are right or wrong.
    Sorry for the long story.
    I'm sorry you're having to deal with this and I hope it works out!
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