Are all 2 yr old hyper?
Our nephew is living with us right now (DH's parents, brother, brother's GF, and nephew all are) and I swear this kid has more energy than I've ever seen!
He is usually up around 9-10AM, has a small nap sometimes around 3PM, then he's non-stop ALL NIGHT! Last night he was running up and down the living room back and forth until almost 12AM! (Yes, his parents let him do this...don't ask...I don't get it)
Is this normal for a 2 yr old?? They've been living with us since August and he's always like this!
I can't speak for all 2 Year olds.....but mine will get up between 7 and 8am, has a 2-3 hour nap most days around 1-2pm, and is in bed asleep between 7 and 8 pm
He doesn't nap as consistently as he used to - so skipping them is okay - but running around like crazy at night....not so normal....
My girlfriend's son used to get crazy busy at night and she realized that (as funny as it sounds) it was because he was overtired.
The 12AM sounds so late to me, but then that's not my schedule. I had a friend who kept her kids up late, because she liked that they slept in later in the mornings.....not sure how well that has worked out for her now that they are both in school.....I personally prefer my kids to be in bed to give me some quiet time before I go to bed
I personally don't get it at all, but I'm not a night person. I like to have my house quiet, cleaned up, and dark by 8PM and I like to be in bed by 9PM.
Having them around is really stressing me out! Last night I just wanted quiet time but everyone was awake and talking and TV blaring and kid running up and down the living room. Ug....They were supposed to move out Sept 1 but couldn't find a place, same for Oct 1 and Nov 1, but alas...no place yet. :(
I suspect he's overtired but eh...I'm not his parent.
That has to be tough! Thats a lot of extra people to have in your house! Especially if they have such different habits then you!
I hope they find something in enough time to have some quiet time before baby comes!
ITA with Audrey that he sounds like he's very overtired. Kids that age need 10-11 hours of sleep at night with another 1-2 hours nap for a total of 12 hours a day. He's getting 9, maybe 10??? No wonder the poor thing is bouncing off the walls! :shock: He should still be getting a regular nap or rest time at that age, too. My DS started refusing to nap when he was two; we started calling it a "siesta" and he could look at a book or play with a quiet toy if he wanted, with his head on the pillow, for 90 minutes. If he did eventually fall asleep, we'd let him sleep for up to an hour and then wake him up if he didn't wake on his own.
I would speak up about this because it's his health at stake, and yours as well. It doesn't matter that you aren't the parent. It's your house, and you need to set some ground rules, especially now that you're pregnant. If they are going to stay there any longer, then they simpy must get him to bed at a decent time, if for no other reason than so that you can get the rest you need. And I'd add that you should probably set a new ending date for them to move out and *enforce* it. If that can't happen for a *very* good reason, then they at least owe you the courtesy of making their presence as peaceful for you as possible.
I would say it depends on the child, for normalness. My oldest goes to bed easily around 7:30-8pm and is up every day by 7, that is enough sleep for him. My middle is very high needs (some people might describe him as spirited) and he HATES sleep. He only sleeps when he is absolutely exhausted, he never admits to being tired, and if you put him in bed at 8 he stays up talking in bed for at least 2 hours. He hasn't napped since before he was 2, and really the only time he ever naps is if he falls asleep in the car or the stroller on a walk. It is very taxing on both my husband and I, but there isn't really much we can do, other than try our best to tire him out during the day. The situation is not ideal, because we find we are up late with him and then woken early by my 5 year old. However, there is not a lot we can do, we cannot force him to sleep, and we have spent a lot of time working with him to stay in his bed after bedtime.
So it might be very tough, for your DHs brother and his partner as well. They might just not know what to do with him. Some kids natural rhythms are to stay up late and sleep in (and honestly, my kids are up much earlier then he is, I think my 3.5 year old gets about as much sleep as him) It also sounds like a really difficult situation having so many of DHs family members living with you, that would be an annoying situation in it's own right.
I know before I had kids I had a lot of opinions of how kids should be (I mean behaviour wise, crying, sleep etc) In the end, after having 3 kids of my own I have had to give up the idea that children are "bad" because of "bad" parenting. Sometimes children are just difficult (or spirited, the more PC way of putting it) I have a child like this, and a child who is your average, well behaved kid, and I have to tell you, we basically raised them the same way, they are just different kids with different needs.
I have to take issue with a couple of things here. To the first bolded: There actually are a *lot* of things you can do to help a child get to sleep. Lie down with him. Give him some warm milk. Turn the lights down low, not off. Give him a warm bath with some calming lavendar bath soap. Or avoid a bedtime bath if that revs him up & go with a washcloth wipe-down instead. Introduce a lovey that stays in bed. Set a predictable & reliable bedtime routine. Cut out sugar & refined foods. Make sure he gets plenty of exercise early in the day. Give him a massage at bedtime. Play some soft music that slowly fades out. Talk him through some simple relaxation exercises. Little kids just don't naturally lie down quietly & go to sleep on their own; they need to be parented to sleep. My son is four and I still regularly do one or two of these with him every night. He goes to sleep on his own maybe once or twice a week. At the age of two, there's no way I would expect a child to just lie down and go to sleep.
Originally Posted by knhoward
To the second bolded: The issue here isn't the child's natural rythyms. The issue is that the child is not getting enough sleep. Period. If he was sleeping from midnight to noon, I'd have no problem with that if it worked for his family. But he's sleeping from midnight until 9am and rarely napping, and that is just simply not enough sleep for a 2yo. The poor thing is exhausted and he doesn't know how to put himself to sleep and the grownups in his life apparently aren't helping him learn; they're just letting him run himself ragged instead. And I *would* call that bad parenting, not to a relative's face, at least not at first, but I'd definitely be thinking it.
Ok; I'm going to add a few things. My DD has ADHD; she has difficulty with sleep. She didn't sleep through the night until 18 months. She has a hard time falling asleep and is consistently up early. She struggled with naps and even as an infant my mother-in-law said she had never seen a baby sleep so little. She goes to bed at 8 and it's not unusual for her to be awake at 10ish and she is usually up by 5-6am.
Agree with Spacers that there are things you can try. In addition to what was already mentioned, I was told by the neurologist to give her melatonin at night about 30 minutes before bed. Its a chewable mint tablet that she likes! It has helped, but of course is not a cure all. She sleeps with no night light, gets a bedtime CD that once it's done thats it, we tuck her in bed with snug blankets (tucked in the mattress), etc. A calming environment at least one hour before bed also helps.
So, essentially, no - not every 2 year old is so hyper. But, of course several things could be influencing this particular child. If it is a medical condition such as ADHD then he's too young to diagnose. But, if it's more environmental, there are things that can be done.
In any case, I think you need to have a heart to heart with the house guests and set up some ground rules for the remainder of their "visit". It's still your home and you have a right to not be stressed.
Yeah, it's a tough situation overall right now. They are living with us because if they weren't...well...they would be homeless effectively (or have to move back to the east coast). We've tried setting deadlines for them to move out but a) they had trouble finding jobs to save up the amount they need for first/last rental deposit and b) rental market where we live is hard as they are looking for a 3 bedroom apartment or house that allows dogs which is few and far between. I've already warned DH that if they aren't out soon I may go postal because I'm going insane having them there. And if they aren't gone and ruin my dream of having a home birth (which I'm not about to do while they are there) then I will regret it for the rest of my life and DH will not hear the end of it. But...that's aside from the point of this thread!
I agree that they don't have the best routines.
BIL's GF is very young and immature. She spends all day on her phone or the computer ignoring the child, letting him do whatever he wants, leaving him in front of the TV on Disney kids channel. I know he's a child, but they are guests in our house and in my opinion she should be watching him at least. She lets him eat food and spill on our couch, she has let him "draw" on our tv with dirty hands, I have found crayon on my antique drop leg table, not to mention the scratches on our nice (just installed before we bought the house last year) maple hard wood floor from him running his toys into it... She never leaves the house, never sits with him, never tries to teach him anything, never reads a book to him. We have a school right behind us with a huge park but she won't get off her butt and take him. Heck, we live 1 KM walk away from a large urban outdoor park with paths, petting zoo, free indoor plant...thingy (can't think of the word, glass enclosed area with tropical plants you can walk through), tea house, pond, water park, etc. She won't even walk to the drug store at the end of our road, she makes BIL drive her when they need to go. It's literally 10 houses away, then across a road!!
BIL is....impatient (and one of the reasons I didn't want him there originally was because he has anger issues and is verbally and physically abusive). He has no patience for this kid. He yells at him whenever he doesn't do something right, or when he doesn't listen. He will pick him up and physically force him to sit on the couch if he's not listening (sometimes by one arm and not in a nice way).
Combine that together and I think they don't really know how to deal with the child. When they try to get him to do anything he pulls a tantrum. They force him to have a bath every other night even though he screams the entire time. At nap time and bed time they just put him in the pack n play (they didn't bring up a crib or bed with them so we bought them a pack n play to use at our house) and let him CIO for an hour sometimes. He will be screaming. They are staying in our basement so I don't know if they turn off the lights or whatnot. I can hear him all the way on the second floor. Eventually he passes out I gather, I don't know.
It's just sad really. DH thinks it's normal though and doesn't believe me when I tell him it's not. I won't approach his family about it, and I've asked DH to bring it up, but he won't as he says it's not his business. DH is in the "stay up late" camp and very hyper himself so it's hard to explain to him that I want it to be quiet time after a certain hour. Everyone in his family stays up late, chats, keeps all the lights on (huge pet peeve of mine), leaves the TV on loud, leaves the front door open and the curtains open so everyone in the world can see in our house (another HUGE pet peeve of mine). He says it's just how they are "down east". I just don't get it. Different culture I guess. When I grew up we weren't allowed to leave lights on or have loud TV late at night. Our house was always quiet and calm.
I really just hope they find a place and get out soon (and I feel a little sorry for DH's parents who have agreed to rent with BIL and GF and child). I need the stress of all this gone. I can't deal with this hyper screaming child much longer. I'm really depressed about it. DH got us a TV for our bedroom so I have somewhere at least to hide now, but I feel like a prisoner with no control over anything anymore. All my things are being touched and broken and ruined and no one seems to care. DH thinks it's ok if something gets broken if you can replace it, but he doesn't get that I don't like that. One of our nice ceramic roasting dishes got broken the other night at dinner because MIL put it on the stove top where an element had been on. She didn't do it on purpose, but it was a wedding gift and I'm very heartbroken over it. Yes, I know I'm sentimental...it's just a roasting dish but still...
Sorry, didn't mean to vent there, just having a hard day. It's sad that I would rather be at work than home right now. I'm really thinking they won't find a house for November 1 which means the next rental period is Dec 1 and that just makes me cry....I don't think I can do another month of this.