I'm so sorry you're dealing with this mess when you should be getting your home set up for your own birth. Tell them you'll watch the dog if they get an apartment that doesn't allow them. Or a lot of times you can rent with a dog if you're willing to put up extra damage deposit and if the dog is well-bahaved. Offer to write a nice reference letter for how great & quiet the dog is and help them with extra deposit money. At the very least, make them leave for a few days when you're in labor. Certainly they can afford a couple of nights in a motel if they aren't paying rent.
Another thought is to call your local social services office and see if you can get a social worker involved. You should be able to do it anonymously. If you can hear the poor boy crying up two floors, then neighbors can probably hear him, too. :(
And one final thought: find a place for them. :shock: Get on Craigslist, or copy things from wherever rentals are posted in your area, and send them every single thing you find that might work. Call for more information & leave their phone number, put their email address in as the contact. Use your network. Let everyone you know know that you're looking for a 2- or 3-bedroom apartment that takes dogs. Post a "home wanted" notice in your church bulletin or the Masons newsletter or anywhere else you can.
Oh trust me, we've tried it all (the things you've mentioned), he will not sleep, regardless of us staying with him, warm milk, baths, relaxing etc etc. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Perhaps he would sleep if we drugged him, but we don't. You make the assumption that my child eats a lot of sugar, he does not! Until you have been in the situation with a child you do not know, unfortunately. And we don't expect him to just go lay in bed by himself, we have quite a bedtime routine with him that involves the usual hygiene items, bedtime story, drink, cuddles in bed, lullaby etc. After months of hard work he now stays in his bed, usually talking or playing quietly, he passes out when he wants to.
Originally Posted by Spacers
I don't obviously know anything about Rachael's family and their parenting, she hasn't given a lot of info, but things aren't always so cut-and-dry as you make them out to be, and to simply state that "I" am not doing enough to help my child sleep is just not true. This child may have special needs, he is 2, most kids do not have a diagnosis at that age. I have friends who has a son who slept horribly, from very early on, that had diagnosis of Aspergers as well as ADHD at the age of 5 or 6. There were reasons (not parental ones) that the child could not sleep, he now uses Melatonin which helps a lot. This friend has 2 other children, who are great sleepers. You can't always blame the parents Spacers (sorry I don't know your name)
ETA: I didn't get to Rachael's next post before I typed this, so this doesn't seem to really apply as it sounds like the parents just aren't doing a very good job. I think what I say still applies in some cases (just not this one, unfortunately)
Rachael - I am sorry you are dealing with such awful relatives. It sounds like they aren't really responsible enough to have a child of their own. It sounds like he is really neglected all day. Perhaps spending hours in front of the TV doesn't set him up well for being tired at night and sleeping, among numerous other issues :(
I actually kind of feel sorry for the child now, after reading your vent. You have every right to be angry about it.
Thanks. It is hard right now. I'm on a later shift this week so I didn't get home until 7:30PM. I went to our room and found 4 accidents (3 poop, 1 pee) from their chihuahua on our bedroom floor (the bedroom I spent all last weekend cleaning top to bottom!) So, she doesn't only ignore her child during the day, she ignores her dog too.
That was the start of a horrible night. It sent me into a spiral of depression that I just can't kick today still. I went and had dinner but couldn't cope with being in the living room with the GF or the 2 yr old. He was misbehaving and she was ignoring him still. Then he got a hold of my label maker (a nice computerized one that I use heavily and love) and she didn't even care and I just couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed it and went and hid in my bedroom and cried for 3 hours on and off. The entire time (until at least 11:30PM) I could hear him running up and down the living room, screaming, yelling, running something (no idea what) across my floor that was loud and sounded damaging. We live in a town house and I'm surprised the neighbours didn't complain or call the police it was so loud.
When DH came to bed I told him I couldn't take it anymore. My parents know how crazy it is at our house and have offered for me to come stay with them for a bit if I want. I told DH I'm seriously considering taking them up on it as I can't take the stress anymore. It's at a point of them or me and I hate to do that, but I can't do it anymore. Either they leave, or I do.
It was obvious the child was overtired so I don't know why she didn't put him to bed??? It baffles me!! I'm beginning to think she just doesn't know how to get him to bed!! Then when BIL got home (maybe she was waiting for him) all he did was provoke the child over and over. DH was mad too, all he wanted to do was watch hockey in the same room and he was annoyed that the stress of the situation meant I didn't stay down and watch with him.
Yeah, your DH needs to step up and kick them out, and likely get F&CS involved for the child's sake. I bet the child is acting out to get attention, since it seems like his mom totally ignores him and doesn't want to do anything for him. Things are only going to get worse and higher stress when you have a new baby in the house, it sounds to me like they really need to be out, maybe even if it is to stay in a shelter, maybe that will give them the push they need. <hugs>
Originally Posted by raingirl28
I am so sorry that you are dealing with this vs being allowed to relax, enjoy your pregnancy and this time with your dh as a couple before babe's arrival.
Tell dh you'll run around naked if he gets them out. :P
I like the idea of suggesting that they leave the dog behind -- either with you or maybe find a home that would provide temp housing since it is a smaller dog. I would definitely be joining in to help finding a place to rent.
I did have one question. Here you can move in anytime. They simply prorate if the rental agreement is set for the 1st or 15th of the month. Is that not allowed where you live?
(((((((HUGS))))))) I know you don't want to feel forced out of your home. I do believe though that some clear boundaries are needed for you all to be able to continue to make the best of this situation. Perhaps you can draft a set of 'house rules' and go over them first with your dh. These are NOT unreasonable requests as you all are attempting to share your household. Part of the agreement (for me) would incl. some real efforts for job / home finding.
PLEASE feel free to vent here as much as you want and/or need!
I just have to say, I would find having any guests that long hard. Guests with an out of control child and a dog would be impossible.
We did rent our place in the GTA from the 20th of the month. Our lease is just set up so that our rent is due on the 20th. As long as the place is empty, you can get in anytime.
When landlords have a place empty they are generally very happy to rent it out, because no renters = no income. They will prorate for the month generally, at least in my experience.
Originally Posted by Danifo
I'm in Brampton (if it matters) and so far they haven't been able to find anything that's 3 bedroom and would allow 4 adults, a 2 yr old, and 2 dogs.....and they are smokers. I presume they would smoke outside if it's a smoke-free place but if I know landlords, as soon as they say they smoke (even if they say outside) they would be denied. And most of the ads I see are 1 or 2 bedroom. 3 bedroom are few and far between (or outside their price range). They may need to suck it up and put the 2 yr old in the bedroom with his parents. Or find separate houses?
Everything I've been looking at today is no dogs/no pets. Not one ad that allows pets....
Heck, they have so much going against them right now. All their IDs are still from NB, they only just started new jobs that are just temp jobs (not permanent) so hard to get letters to prove employment. With very little employment to document in the last two years either (east coast job market is horrid), bad credit, and all ID from NB, as a landlord would you risk renting to them??
They had found a place that they liked but they required 2 pieces of photo ID which none of them have. Heck, even I don't have two pieces of photo ID (I have an old health card so only have my drivers license). Who asks for 2 pieces of photo ID these days??
They can get a BYID card (from the liquor store) They could also get a new photo health card. Of course a passport is an option too, but that is more expensive.
Originally Posted by raingirl28