Disciplining your child - how the other half works.
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    Community Host Minx_Kristi's Avatar
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    Default Disciplining your child - how the other half works.

    Okay, so you and Dh have completely different ways and thoughts on disciplining your children. How do you come to the same level? If your DH was to discipline the child in a way you found inappropriate, would you confront him as it's happening? I know this is wrong to do in front of the kids but can you stop yourself and wait until you and him are alone?

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    Community Host combatcutie's Avatar
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    I wouldn't do it in front of the kids. This will give them the idea that you are not on the same page as DH. You have to act as though you are both in agreement so they don't use it against you later. Good luck

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    Posting Addict Jenn0113's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by combatcutie View Post
    I wouldn't do it in front of the kids. This will give them the idea that you are not on the same page as DH. You have to act as though you are both in agreement so they don't use it against you later. Good luck
    Exactly! I would never do it in front of the child - they always must think you guys are a unified force. But I would handle it with him in private later.
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    Super Poster KerriWeasel's Avatar
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    I agree with the the other ladies. Wait until you guys are in private and discuss. you need to both be on the same page and a unified front.
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    Community Host Minx_Kristi's Avatar
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    So what do you do if after having words, it doesn't change?

    BTW, I'm not saying my DBF does awful things to our DD but I have had to tell him not to do certain things as it makes me feel uncomfortable.

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    Posting Addict carg0612's Avatar
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    Well that certainly makes it more challenging.

    As a blended family we have a lot of challenges that way. DH has issues treating all the kids the same. We definitely "discuss" in front of the kids more than we should. But DH also has a tough time with delayed gratification (thanks to his over-indulgent mother) so waiting to talk about things is very difficult for him. But we try.

    We often disagree about certain things. Sometimes we even agree to disagree.

    Now when you throw in an ex-h and an ex-w things get really hairy!!! My ex and I try to communicate about how to work with the kids. We talk through much of it and frankly since we are removed from each other and often times from the situation it can make it easier to cool down and use a clear head.

    I think that if you and your DBF are really at odds about things you might consider a counselor. They can be a huge help in communicating effectively with each other.

    DH and I have seen one a few times (I wish we could fit it in to go regularly) and it has helped with certain aspects of our difficult family and life - being all blended and stuff like we are.

    GL - I hope you're able to find a way to work through it.
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    Community Host combatcutie's Avatar
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    I agree that if you can't seem to agree maybe you can see a counselor. He or she will help each of you get your point across without fighting. Also, it will help understanding the other one a lot better.

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    Posting Addict Starryblue702's Avatar
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    In the beginning we were on two different wavelengths! But, through years of talking and fighting and talking and fighting about it (lol) we're pretty much on the same page now!
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