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    Default Domestic help questions

    I am hoping someone here has been there done that with hiring a domestic helper. I am hoping to find someone to help out at home, doing all sorts of things from helping with the kids to organizing and cleaning. I was thinking to have a live in person. I definitely do not want to sponsor someone from another country. How do I go about this? I looked on care.com. While there are a lot of profiles there, I am just so nervous. I have never had a babysitter except my own mom who does not live near me. Since I prevously was a social worker, I have seen so much go on with day care centers, babysitters, and other domestic issues and I think that really has made me very nervous as a mom, perhaps nearly impossible to trust others. The news certainly freaks me out. The positive aspect is that I am a SAHM so I will be around majority of the time, so I am pretty much banking on observations and interactions to develop trust. But how do I even know who to give that opportunity to in the first place? How much of a Background/police check is reasonable? When I worked, I had to submit fingerprints for FBI checks, go through drug testing etc. Is this unreasonable for my candidate to go through? Is there anything else anyone can share that mit have been learned through experience? Thank you so much in advance!
    Aisha

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    I haven't BTDT with live-in help, but I'd urge you to reconsider an au pair. I have three IRL friends who have had excellent results with foreign au pairs. Two of them are SAHMs like yourself who just need some extra help, someone to pick up the older kids & supervise homework while mom is taking care of baby, or take the youngster to preschool and fold some laundry while mom does grocery shopping. The other is a single mom who works regular, but odd, hours including two overnights per week. She makes sure to get an au pair willing to work fewer daytime hours in exchange for being "on call" overnight two night a week. They have all told me that the au pairs are carefully screened, they speak English very well, and they agree to a code of conduct so that even one violation can send them home. If that happens, the agency will send you another au pair immediately. If you'd like, I can find out what agency each of them used, because they have all been very happy. One of them had the same au pair stay for a second year, and another has had two au pairs come back to stay with her for a couple of weeks each as a visitor!
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    My friend was an au pair and she had strict criteria to meet. If you want you can pay more for a higher level au pair, she was in this category because she held a diploma in childcare. The higher levels have some form of qualification I believe. My friend mostly enjoyed her time, until the family she worked for went nutso and started pulling her days off etc and her coordinator had to step in.

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    thank you both so much. I got really busy with company and kids' school projects that I have not had time to reply. I will read about au pairs online. Can you give me the website addresses your friends used? I can find a site online but I am not sure how legitimate it would be.
    Aisha

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    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
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    They each used a different agency, and one said another friend of hers has used even another. Here they all are. Not all agencies service all areas, so you might end up having to Google your area anyway. And not all agencies source their au pairs from the same countries, so if you want someone from a particular country, you might need to Google anyway. Good luck!

    Au Pair International Home
    InterExchange Au Pair | Find Au Pairs | Au Pair USA by InterExchange | InterExchange
    Cultural Care http://info.culturalcare.com
    AuPairCare Au Pair Live-in Child Care: Leading Au Pair Agency | Au Pair Care
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    Thank you so much!
    Aisha

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    I gave it a lot of thought and I think I just can't go with someone abroad. I just don't feel right about it. I know there are people abroad who need jobs but I think there are so many here who need jobs too. I deeply appreciate your help though. I just need someone to get me through the delivery and adjustments, about a year or 10 =)
    Aisha

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    Ok, so I am late on the reply here. I don't have experience in this, so this is all my opinion.

    You should do all the back ground checks and with DFS and the drug tests. Allowing someone into your home and around your children, there is no guarantee but it's better to be cautious than not. Generally if they don't have something to hide they won't object. When I went to phlebotomy school we had to submit to all of those and every hospital I have worked at since has them as well.

    I can see where you are coming from about a working from abroad, seems like it would be more expensive. More legal type hoops.

    I have no idea where to look for one though.





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    Quote Originally Posted by myyams View Post
    I am hoping someone here has been there done that with hiring a domestic helper. I am hoping to find someone to help out at home, doing all sorts of things from helping with the kids to organizing and cleaning.
    I've started looking at nannies/domestic help too. We're not TTCing yet but we're working out the costs. I am looking for someone local to Brooklyn NY and found a couple sites, but they might cover TX too:
    ~ www.Sittercity.com
    ~ www.eNannySource.com
    ~ www.SmartSitting.com

    I'd be interested to look into any other sites you are recommended.

    @Mary :
    Quote Originally Posted by MJDttc View Post
    I can see where you are coming from about a working from abroad, seems like it would be more expensive. More legal type hoops.
    While I have not been an au pair, I am from South Africa and know a few girls who came to the US as nannies/au pairs. International nannies are sourced by agencies and the agency takes care of all the legal/visa requirements. The potential au pairs cannot enter the US without first having the visa.

    Quote Originally Posted by MJDttc View Post
    You should do all the back ground checks and with DFS and the drug tests. Allowing someone into your home and around your children, there is no guarantee but it's better to be cautious than not.
    The agency *should* also do the background checks, but I agree with you that it would probably be extra reassuring for the original poster to do them herself. I don't know how the cost compares to someone local though.
    ~Roxi~

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    thank you everyone for your help, much appreciated.
    Aisha

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