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  1. #91
    Mega Poster meggyrn's Avatar
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    Julie...sounds like you had a fun weekend catching up with your friend. It's great that you stay in touch after so many years. I'm not really in any contact with my old friends other than FB. It's probably for the best since I wasn't the best person in high school.

    I've been busy working on housing projects. I have lots of things going right now. We've had DD2 sleeping in the guest room for about 3 weeks now as we are re-doing her room. We've had the room painted for 2 weeks and are waiting for new carpet which will be layed on Thursday. Then we will be busy putting her bunk beds back together, moving stuff back in and decorating walls. On Wednesday and Thursday DH and I are going to paint the family room. Right now I have our double sided fireplace torn apart and am working on priming and painting the brass trim around it. I have one side almost done and will work on the other side once we have the room painted. Tomorrow I need to go to the girls' school and go through immunization records with the secretary. I volunteered to work on that. I also need to see my hospice pt tomorrow. I feel like my week is gone already when I think about what I have planned to do.

    Meg-30 DH-42

    2 IUI's-BFN
    IVF #1-cancelled d/t embryos arresting before transfer (3/09)
    IVF #2-BFP 9wks-7/30/09 (6/09)
    IVF #3-BFN (5/10)

  2. #92
    Community Host Minx_Kristi's Avatar
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    Bonita, sorry! I have this website really small because I'm at work so I don't see ppls signatures etc. Doh.

    I'm not going to lie, I did ask her silly things like if she liked this particular teacher and if he had ever been mean to her. I stopped myself though incase I heard something I didn't want to!

    I can't remember who posted this, but regarding the favouring of DD1.... if it was me and my in laws I would definitely be saying something. Not only are they treating her like she's younger than she is, they are ignoring (some what!) the other girls and IMO that is not acceptable. That being said, I don't mind rocking the boat with my in laws so.... you might be different. I hope it resolves itself soon though!

    xx
    Me - Kristi, 30
    DD - Leia, July 5 2008

    I luurrrrrve to lurk!

  3. #93
    Mega Poster meggyrn's Avatar
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    I don't think I could ever say anything to my in-laws because once you get on their "bad" side there is never getting back to their good side. They hold grudges for life. They are very nice ppl if you get along with them. If you don't, they wouldn't be so nice. The part that bothers me the most is that the other 2 girls get ignored by the ppl that favor DD1. Whenever I hear them say how wonderful DD1 is, I try to back it up with something good about DD2 and 3, but then that kind of goes ignorned. They talk about how great of a reader DD1 is, I say that DD2 is just as good of a reader (if not better). When DD1 is babied it's kind of disturbing to me. I don't think it's appropriate for an almost teenager to cling, hang on or sit on the lap of her grandpa or other ppl. She is almost bigger than some of her grandparents and almost knocks them over clinging on them. My fear is that she is going to end up like her uncle (DH's younger brother) and there is no way I am going to allow that. I sometimes wonder if the way DH's parents treat DD1 was the way they treated their youngest son and that's why he's the way he is. He's 10 years younger than DH's sister so pretty much an only child. He really has no common sense and when I'm around him and DH's parents they do everything for him down to giving up the food on their plate so he can have seconds. He's a married, 30 year old man, with a baby on the way. I'm trying to raise my daughters to be independent, successful women and I think that needs to start at a very young age. Sorry about bringing this all up. I talked to my mom about it again yesterday. She's the only one IRL life that understands this. Plus she witnesses it also.

    Meg-30 DH-42

    2 IUI's-BFN
    IVF #1-cancelled d/t embryos arresting before transfer (3/09)
    IVF #2-BFP 9wks-7/30/09 (6/09)
    IVF #3-BFN (5/10)

  4. #94
    Community Host Minx_Kristi's Avatar
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    Don't be sorry for talking to us about it Meg. Often, you find that ladies on here can relate which can sometimes help a lot!

    I personally would not care about getting on the wrong side of them. If they're immature enough to be that way, let them. I have issues of immaturity with my MIL also so I get how annoying it is, but this is your daughter that we're talking about. You have every right to let them know how you feel about the way they are with her, you're her mother and they should respect your wishes. I guess I would have to see it with my own eyes, as sitting on grandpa's knee doesn't bother me too much but I do understand where you are coming from. I feel for the 2 youngest aswell. When you say DD1 is her mother's double, what do you mean? Are you not her bio mother? Sorry that bit just confused me a litte.

    xx
    Me - Kristi, 30
    DD - Leia, July 5 2008

    I luurrrrrve to lurk!

  5. #95
    Mega Poster meggyrn's Avatar
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    Kristi...The girls' bio mom passed away 7 years ago when they were 3, 4 and 5. I've been in their life pretty much ever since. DH and I started dating 3 months later. I adopted them shortly after we got married. DD1 looks just like her mother so I think that is why she is favored with her bio mother's family. I feel it makes the other two feel less important to everyone in that family. Sitting on grandpa's knee wouldn't bother me, it's the laying across his lap that bother's me more and hanging on grandma so much that it about knocks her over.

    Thanks for listening.

    Meg-30 DH-42

    2 IUI's-BFN
    IVF #1-cancelled d/t embryos arresting before transfer (3/09)
    IVF #2-BFP 9wks-7/30/09 (6/09)
    IVF #3-BFN (5/10)

  6. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minx_Kristi View Post
    Bonita, sorry! I have this website really small because I'm at work so I don't see ppls signatures etc. Doh.

    I'm not going to lie, I did ask her silly things like if she liked this particular teacher and if he had ever been mean to her. I stopped myself though incase I heard something I didn't want to!

    xx
    No problem. When I chose my screen name I did not know about the forums. I only used this website for the calendar. Then I was working toward my crowns and did not want to loose how far I was.

    Ugg, I would hate not being able to talk to DD.


    Quote Originally Posted by meggyrn View Post
    I don't think I could ever say anything to my in-laws because once you get on their "bad" side there is never getting back to their good side. They hold grudges for life. They are very nice ppl if you get along with them. If you don't, they wouldn't be so nice. The part that bothers me the most is that the other 2 girls get ignored by the ppl that favor DD1. Whenever I hear them say how wonderful DD1 is, I try to back it up with something good about DD2 and 3, but then that kind of goes ignorned. They talk about how great of a reader DD1 is, I say that DD2 is just as good of a reader (if not better). When DD1 is babied it's kind of disturbing to me. I don't think it's appropriate for an almost teenager to cling, hang on or sit on the lap of her grandpa or other ppl. She is almost bigger than some of her grandparents and almost knocks them over clinging on them. My fear is that she is going to end up like her uncle (DH's younger brother) and there is no way I am going to allow that. I sometimes wonder if the way DH's parents treat DD1 was the way they treated their youngest son and that's why he's the way he is. He's 10 years younger than DH's sister so pretty much an only child. He really has no common sense and when I'm around him and DH's parents they do everything for him down to giving up the food on their plate so he can have seconds. He's a married, 30 year old man, with a baby on the way. I'm trying to raise my daughters to be independent, successful women and I think that needs to start at a very young age. Sorry about bringing this all up. I talked to my mom about it again yesterday. She's the only one IRL life that understands this. Plus she witnesses it also.
    I am not much of a rock the boat person IRL. I do have to deal with DD2 tring to be all over people (5). I talk to her about it though, and not the person she is trying to cling to.

    ~Bonita~

  7. #97
    Mega Poster meggyrn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    I am not much of a rock the boat person IRL. I do have to deal with DD2 tring to be all over people (5). I talk to her about it though, and not the person she is trying to cling to.
    I avoid confrontation at all costs.

    Meg-30 DH-42

    2 IUI's-BFN
    IVF #1-cancelled d/t embryos arresting before transfer (3/09)
    IVF #2-BFP 9wks-7/30/09 (6/09)
    IVF #3-BFN (5/10)

  8. #98
    Community Host Minx_Kristi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by meggyrn View Post
    Kristi...The girls' bio mom passed away 7 years ago when they were 3, 4 and 5. I've been in their life pretty much ever since. DH and I started dating 3 months later. I adopted them shortly after we got married. DD1 looks just like her mother so I think that is why she is favored with her bio mother's family. I feel it makes the other two feel less important to everyone in that family. Sitting on grandpa's knee wouldn't bother me, it's the laying across his lap that bother's me more and hanging on grandma so much that it about knocks her over.

    Thanks for listening.
    Ahh ok so now I get why you feel you can't say much. That is definitely a tough one! Maybe speak to DH again and see if you can get anywhere with him?

    xx
    Me - Kristi, 30
    DD - Leia, July 5 2008

    I luurrrrrve to lurk!

  9. #99
    Mega Poster meggyrn's Avatar
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    Today is painting day!! I can't wait to get the colors on my family room walls. I've been waiting to do this for about a week now. DH is going to paint the ceiling this morning and this is the first he can get to it without the risk of being interuppted. I'll put the first coats on the wall today and a second coat tomorrow. We got our new ceiling fan to put up and am waiting for our wall hangings to come. I have the fireplace torn apart and just need to put the final coat of paint on the brass pieces. I can't wait to see what it looks like when it's all done. It's really going to change the room. Tomorrow DD's carpet gets installed in her new room, then we get to put that back together. After all this is done, I think I'm done with home projects for a while.

    Meg-30 DH-42

    2 IUI's-BFN
    IVF #1-cancelled d/t embryos arresting before transfer (3/09)
    IVF #2-BFP 9wks-7/30/09 (6/09)
    IVF #3-BFN (5/10)

  10. #100
    Posting Addict Jules's Avatar
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    "Today is painting day!!" and where is our heavily-picture laden post showing us the minute (okay hourly) progress?

    Meg, I tend to be confrontational so I would probably have long since made enemies. I am so thankful that my mil was such a pleasant person and so very fair and good with the kids. She always looked for the good in each and worked to bring out their best. She wasn't afraid to address problem areas either. The kids knew that they were accepted and loved and that what gram shared, they listened and then took it into account when making a decision. She didn't hold grudges either, but allowed them to make what she probably considered dumb mistakes without rubbing it in their faces. I miss her.

    In dealing with the situation, I believe I would first work with my daughter. As kids move into the teen years, some behavior becomes inappropriate, some becomes thoughtless and other things become age appropriate. There's a time to behave like a child and there's a time to put on your grown up attitude and act like a young adult. While you can't change how the in-laws behave toward her, you can encourage her to step up to a more appropriate role herself.

    Must get back to getting work ready for vacation. I swear, getting ready for vacation really does necessitate a vacation. lol

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