Hi all, I am new to this forum so please tell me if I'm doing something wrong.
I just found out 2 days ago that we are expecting our 3rd child. I was extremely happy, especially because this was the most planned of the pregnancies. DH was onboard since we decided to go for it, but his behavior and lack of support since the positive result have been making me really sad. I have not shared the news with anyone but a good friend at work (it felt good getting a hug and her reaction was the best so far). Anyone has been in this situation? And, please, any suggestions on how to improve.
Thanks a lot.
First - Congratulations on your pregnancy! We're really glad to have you join us here and look forward to sharing your journey with this new baby!
I am sorry that your husband's reaction wasn't what you hoped and thought it would be! For some, the "getting there" part of the trying to conceive journey is the most fun. For others, particularly if they have gone through a previous pregnancy with you... once that positive test result comes up they may go through a period of "OMG! WHAT was I thinking!!?!?!?!" LOL at times, I believe we may have those feelings as well! Perhaps he's remembering how sick you were... or now recognizing that your other ones are a bit more independent and worried about going through that newborn stage all over again. There are any number of thoughts that may be going on.
Continue to include him in what's going on with your pregnancy... but maybe, strike that balance of not sharing EVERY.MINUTE.DETAIL.... LOL My own dh would become quickly overwhelmed if I did that -- or -- make some insensitive remark that would have me ready to throw daggers (even withOUT pregnancy hormones!!)
That's what is great about having other support that you can go to! Connect with your birth club here at Pregnancy.org! You'll find others ready to obsess (if that's what you want) about all things pregnancy and baby, willing to give advice and encouragement (I'm sure you'd find lots of "me too!" if you shared this thread there -- which can be validating!), and able to simply cheer you on along the way!
Thank you very much for taking your time to respond to my concern. I really appreciated your words. I think there is no better gift to care for someone; a loved one, a family member, a friend, imagine someone you don't even know. So thank you for caring about my post and replying to it. You made my day
May you continue to bless others with this wonderful gift.
First off, congrats on your pregnancy and welcome to P.O!! As far as your DH is concerned, I know exactly how you feel. When mine found out I was pregnant with this baby (#4!) he was pretty upset. You have to give him some time... but if after that time he still is acting the same way I would sit down for a heart to heart with him. Let him know that you're upset at his distance from you and how it's making you feel. Good luck with everything... and please make it over to your birth board!!
I'm so sorry for being slow with responding to this. It's been a crazy busy couple of weeks. Welcome to pregnancy.org. I do know exactly what you are talking about. Seriously the exact same thing has happened each time with my 3 little ones. DH was the one to tell me to go off birth control. He is the one that told me I was pregnant and he was excited at the idea. Then when the reality of the fact that we were actually going to have a baby because I was actually pregnant (and not just a passing thought of lets try) and that he couldn't turn back set in, he was less than excited. It took time, but he did turn around his attitude. It is tough, but he will be more accepting and even get a bit excited. For my DH it was when we found out the gender. The fact that we were having a boy got him very excited and then he even went and bought some things for him for christmas after we found out. For men they tend to get scared when they realize they have to provide financially for another human.
Thank you all for the replies. I truly appreciate. Just the other day DH said he notices his lack of interest and excitement, and will try to work on it. I have not seen any improvement yet, but it's a good progress for him to admit it.
Thanks again for all the support.