More opinions please

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Minx_Kristi's picture
Joined: 01/02/09
Posts: 1261
More opinions please

Going on from my other post where I asked would you expect DH to break friends with a loser you don't like.

Well, said loser is now telling his GF (my best friend) that when me and DH were living seperately but were still together, that he cheated on me with a loooooot of other girls. Also, one girl was actually named and I messaged her on facebook and she denied it all.

So, since loser said this, him and my DH haven't been working together and so DH hasn't had a chance to bring this up to him. He won't text or call him, he wants to see him face to face. That being said, DH knows that it's unlikely loser will be back working with him as he's being sent to another job, so........

Should he be getting on the blower to loser and confronting him if what he has said isn't true??

I personally think he should and have told him unless he has words I will not believe that what loser is saying is not true.

xx

combatcutie's picture
Joined: 04/04/07
Posts: 2077

I would call this guy and invite him over then confront him. I would want to see him face to face and have him try to deny it if he did indeed say it. I would also make sure the GF was there to say yes, you said that to me. JMO

carg0612's picture
Joined: 09/23/09
Posts: 1554

It would be best to try to get it all out in the open in a non-threatening way. I would think it best to get all 4 of you together at a fairly neutral location (but keep alcohol out of it - that always gets people worked up). I think the key would be to stay calm and not let him know that what he said upsets you. Indifference can be very powerful. Plus it keeps people from hurling unwanted nastiness around.

I'm sorry you're having this conflict - it stinks. GL - KUP on what you and DH decide to do.

Minx_Kristi's picture
Joined: 01/02/09
Posts: 1261

Thanks ladies.

Well after I spoke to DH and expressed how much I wouldn't NOT believe nob heads accusations until he had had words with him, he sent him a text. It went something like....

"Have you be saying sh*t to B to cause sh*t between me and Kristi?"

His reply was - "That was a random one wasn't it, I don't care what happens between you pair and it's nothing to do with me"

DBF - "Well don't be saying sh*t that isn't true just because you're mad at Kristi for mistakes you made. I don't want to fall out with you."

Nob head - "It's all just bull sh*t lies again."

So basically he denied it, which we knew he would as B told me he was gonna act dumb if DBF said anything to him. It makes me feel more assured that what he has said is a load of cr*p and that DBF hasn't cheated..... then again now he has said it it's still playing on my mind because at the end of the day, I would never know.

I'm going to try and make my r/s work and try and keep a distance from my BFF. Pretty sh*t but I do not want to hear anything about nob head, it justs riles me so much!!!

xx

JKfmAustin's picture
Joined: 12/07/10
Posts: 2421

Kristi, I'm sorry you have to deal with this. It sounds like you're doing the right thing by distancing yourself from them. They sound very immature and full of drama and you obviously don’t need that in your life.

:bigarmhug:

Starryblue702's picture
Joined: 04/06/11
Posts: 5454

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all of this. Have you ever had a feeling that your DB has cheated on you? There are always tell tale signs. I know you want to just forget about the whole thing and you should, but do you ever wonder if there's truth behind it?

Minx_Kristi's picture
Joined: 01/02/09
Posts: 1261

Thanks ladies and Jina, you're right. I am dealing with family issues atm too, it's just too much stress right now.

Krystal, it's really hard. I always thought that DBF would never cheat on me, I mean I just knew he wasn't like that. When we first got together, he treated me like a Queen and was so proud to show me off. It was when I was about 6 months pregnant that he really changed and yes, he spent many a night out on the drink and on a couple of occasions he never came home until 7/8am. Of course I kicked off about it but he always told me he was at such and such a persons place.... and I had no reason to disbelieve him. If I'm honest, I didn't suspect he had cheated and I don't worry about that when he does go out. We lived seperately from about Sept last year until Feb this year as him living with me at my Mum's wasn't working. Again, I never thought he was cheating on me, but then I would never know because we weren't living together. People say you just know, but I can honestly say that I don't have a clue!! It would explain some things, like why our sex life is so sh*t and why he has an issue with me going out with my friends.... he will kick up a bit of a fuss but I ignore it and go out anyway and then he is fine.

I guess unless I caught him or someone else saw him with someone else, I just wouldn't know! It's a toughie and is now playing constantly on my mind!

xx

combatcutie's picture
Joined: 04/04/07
Posts: 2077

Just wondering how you are doing?

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