Preface: My husband and I have been married for 4 years, own a home and are expecting our first child in March. My husband and I work for my mother and my brother. Also, since my parents live close to us, instead of to my other siblings (my oldest brother lives nearby too, but has his own wife, kids and grandchild) my husband feels my parents feel "obligated" to do something with us since my older brother does his own thing with his family.
This year my sister down in Los Angeles (usually a 7 hour drive on a non-holiday) emailed my mom and dad to invite them down for Thanksgiving. My mom said she isn't going since she is going to be down in L.A. two weeks before that. I keep telling her to go! She should spend some actual family time with her grandchildren and my dad should spend some time with his grandchildren. If my husband and I were going to travel anywhere this year it would be to Florida (we live in CA) to see his daughter, who we haven't seen in 4 years, but financially that is not possible. Is my mom being unreasonable to say she is "disappointed in my husband"? Is it my fault my mom is refusing my older sister's invitation?
Since my husband got out of the military in 2005 we have never had a holiday the two of us and that is where my question comes into play. Is it alright for us to decide at 34 and 29 year old to decide we want to do the holidays at our house this year? Would it be rude for my husband and I to do Thanksgiving the two of us this year?? (Back story, he races motorcycles and has been planning to go to the Thunderhill track (3 hours from us) Friday after Thanksgiving for over a month before the invite to LA). Also, since we work for my mom he is afraid that the conversation will turn to work. Anytime we do take time "off" we get phone calls because the apparently they can't function 3 days without us.