Rough start

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Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
Rough start

Hi everyone, I'm new to the forum but a girlfriend who is also pregnant recommended I try a chat room for support. I am happily married, my husband and I married last October and as we are a bit older decided to start trying immediately. We weren't expecting to get pregnant so quickly but were overjoyed when we found out we were. A few trips to the doctor, due to what turned out to be a subchorionic hemmorhage, another visit being told our baby was dead by the obgyn only to have our baby be fine later, we made it through concerning genetic testing to get the all clear. Both my husbands and my side of the family have genetic disorders manifested in living relatives. It's been quite a roller coaster. All the while we have been trying to love our baby, take care of each other the best we can. All of these things have been difficult to weather but something neither of us were prepared for... Was the sickness, exhaustion and side effects. The first few weeks my brain just stopped functioning, I couldn't form and hold thoughts, I was losing everything and having mood swings. I also had no clue I was pregnant. The next two weeks, the smells in NYC were throwing me for a loop and making me sick. The following 3 weeks were ironically our belated honeymoon that resulted with me in bed sleeping 15 hrs a day. I could not get out of bed other than to use the restroom. I had no interest in food and barely have any now. I am down almost 20 lbs ,which normally would thrill me but not so much when I feel like I should be gaining weight. To add to the growing list, I have vertigo it came on at the beginning of the week and is persisting. I've already bumped into most of our furniture hit my head and am walking holding on to things. WHAT IS GOING ON??? Has this happened to anyone else? My husband is graduating med school and most of our friends are doctors. People seem to all be in agreement that I'm still" ok" in the realm of healthy pregnancy, which eases my mind but doesn't help me understand. I feel like I'm a huge burden now and like ppl think I'm a hypochondriac or making things up. I'm so in love with my baby, I wish I loved being pregnant but I'm miserable. Any advice?? Under normal circumstances I'm active up and about a do'er . Now I'm just in bed all the time wondering when this will all stop and what may come next?

BokkieNYC's picture
Joined: 08/15/11
Posts: 1106

HI There. Welcome to the boards. This is the best place to find out about these things!

I'm sorry things are not going so well at the moment. I cannot believe that doctor told you the baby was dead!!!! I hope you found a new one to carry you through the rest of your pregnancy.

I unfortunately miscarried my first pregnancy (in February) but I was also exhausted from before I found out I was pregnant. I was sleeping the weekends away, only waking up when my DH woke me to eat. I was getting going to be at 9 and that was pushing it for me. (normally I'm awake until after midnight) From what I've heard from the other ladies here the exhaustion is normal. It should ease up by the end of the first trimester.

I think your DH and friends are probably right that this is all "normal" but I would keep an eye on the weight loss.

BokkieNYC's picture
Joined: 08/15/11
Posts: 1106

Also, I'm not sure what you consider "older" but my friend had her 3rd LO at age 30 and she said it took a much bigger toll on her than the first did at age 24. And not only because she had the other 2 to look after. She said all her symptoms were worse and showed up sooner.

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541


Exhaustion is normal at the beginning, you are growing a new human and that saps your energy. It returns at the end of your pregnancy as you can not find a comfortable way to sleep.

Smells bothered me the first 4 months, and I had food aversions that have lasted until this day (Robbie is 8 in a couple of months). I am diabetic so I had to force myself to eat. It is not unusual to lose weight at the beginning - morning sickness (all day for me) does that. I lost weight during my entire pregnancy, I am "extra fluffy" and so losing 40 lbs was great but I did that while eating 3000 cal/day (they kept upping my calories trying to make me gain weight, it did not work). They monitored Robbie and he was growing well so they were not concerned.

Join a birth board for when you are due and that will help you see that what you are experiencing is mostly normal - not the OB part (which having lost babies I know how horrible it is to go through).

Hugs and welcome to mommyhood (where you question everything for the rest of your life)

Minx_Kristi's picture
Joined: 01/02/09
Posts: 1261

We all take to pregnancy differently, so don't ever feel like you're a burden to anyone.

If anything, your hubby and friends most probably understand and in fact it's you feeling bad.

Just bare with it, the months will fly by and once baby is here you'll feel like a new woman Wink