Singing the "Turning 30" Blues

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BokkieNYC's picture
Joined: 08/15/11
Posts: 1106
Singing the "Turning 30" Blues

How did you feel when you turned 30?

I just turned 30 on 9/3 and for a few weeks leading up to it I had this increasing sense of "unaccomplishment". Nothing has gone the way I planned/expected it to since I graduated high school.

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

30 was rough. I was still single with no prospects, I knew the older I was getting that the harder it would be to get pregnant (darn PCOS)...40 was so much easier. I met DH when I was 31 so things got better quickly during my 30s it was just that first year.

meggyrn's picture
Joined: 02/16/09
Posts: 2263

I just turned 30 on July 23. I think turning 29 was harder on me because it was my last year in my 20's. For my 30th birthday I tried to keep it positive. I bicycled "30 miles for 30 years." Thinking of turning that big 3-0 does make you feel older. Just think of it as a new start to life.

BokkieNYC's picture
Joined: 08/15/11
Posts: 1106

It's partly because I don't feel much different from when i was in high school that this birthday was such an an it climax. I'm out of my 20's so I should feel older.

It's also because I feel like I've failed at most things since leaving high school, which is hard to deal with since I excelled at everything in school (except sports, but I wasn't interested I'm sports)

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4104

Nothing has gone the way I imagined, either, but that doesn't mean it's been a bad ride. I've had a great time along the way, just doing different things than I ever thought I would. 30 was good. It was a very exciting time for me. I had gone back to college the year before so I was very busy working and going to school full time. DH & I had gotten married when we were 28 but we weren't ready to TTC but I knew it would come after school. I had finally found my focus and was moving ahead full-steam. But turning 40 was very different. My DD was 2yo, we were TTC #2 and it wasn't happening; I'd had at least one miscarriage. I felt old and miserable and worthless for many months before I was able to snap myself out of it and start feeling good about myself again. I turned 46 this summer and I'm still feeling great!

ILoveMyMiniMe's picture
Joined: 12/11/03
Posts: 2333

I'm a firm believer in a couple of things I've been told over the years..

1. We're our own hardest critics and most of the times it's us who need to get out of our own way.

and

2. Our 20s are for making craptastic mistakes and our 30s are for fixing them all.

Life is what you make of it.. if you believe you've failed, then you have. But it's important to remember that "not succeeding" is NOT the same thing as failing. So you didn't accomplish this.. or that.. You weren't meant to. But what about the things you DID accomplish?

Take a look at the things you had planned for yourself that you say you never accomplished. Were they realistic to achieve? And by who's standards?

I was supposed to be married by mid 20's and travel the world with my spouse and never have kids, living high on life. All I can say to that is ROFL Seriously! I was a single mother fighting legal battles with a complete asshat and in a job I hated. Loserville, right? Pft - far from it! It strengthened me into the woman I am today.. a 34 year old, recently married lady who is expecting her second precious gift with a fantastic man.

Just because I didn't accomplish life in the way I thought I was going to hardly means I failed.. I merely took a detour to the road of happiness I was meant to have.

Our lives are ever evolving.. we never know what plans we make will stick, which will morph into something completely different and which will play out beautifully like a classical masterpiece. The point is to enjoy life every day for every possible reason as much as you can. Reaching 30 is a gift.. a gift so many don't get to enjoy. It's an accomplishment.. a milestone to be proud of.

Welcome to the new you, friend! By reaching out to learn more about what life is going to be like in the future, it's showing that it's looking beautiful on you! Biggrin

ILoveMyMiniMe's picture
Joined: 12/11/03
Posts: 2333

And by the way - Happy Belated Birthday! :party: Biggrin

BokkieNYC's picture
Joined: 08/15/11
Posts: 1106

"ILoveMyMiniMe" wrote:

And by the way - Happy Belated Birthday! :party: Biggrin

Thanks for the birthday wishes, Adriana.

"ILoveMyMiniMe" wrote:

I'm a firm believer in a couple of things I've been told over the years..
1. We're our own hardest critics and most of the times it's us who need to get out of our own way.

I know I'm totally my own worst critic. I have a tendency to find something wrong with nearly everything I do. :dontknow: I'm working on it :bigsmile:

"ILoveMyMiniMe" wrote:

Take a look at the things you had planned for yourself that you say you never accomplished. Were they realistic to achieve? And by who's standards?

I have come to terms that my original plans of becoming one of the top physical therapists in South Africa, being the physical therapist for my favorite rugby team and also being able to buy my dad a Harley for his 50th (which was in 2008 ) were a tad unrealistic. Wink But having at least complete my undergraduate degree by now I don't think is unattainable... I've been working on it part time and thru correspondence for 6 years now :annoyed:

:kissy: Good news since I started this thread is that DH & I have decided to start the process of decreasing my Lamictal doses and this is the first step towards us TTCing Yahoo So things are starting to feel like I'm not stuck in that limbo any more.