I've been debating posting this for a while, but I need some opinions.
My DH smokes and I hate it. I always said I could NEVER be with a smoker, which is true. The thing is, DH didn't smoke up until last year so it's new. If he had smoked when I first met him, I wouldn't even have considered dating him because I hate smoking that much.
It's become a serious serious issue between us. I've given him the ultimatum - he quits or we are done. He says it's too harsh to give up our marriage over smoking, but I don't want to waste my life being incredibly unhappy because of it.
Why should I sacrifice my life and my happiness because of his addiction? I can't sit beside him in a car, I can't hold his hand, I can't kiss him, I can't sleep in the same bed as him either. Heck, I can't even be in the same room as him anymore because the smell disgusts me so much. I don't even want to do his laundry because of the smell. He's supposed to be the one who unloads the dishes from the dishwasher, but I don't even want him to do that anymore in case he gets smoke smell on things. I don't even want him in my house or car because of the smell.
It got to the point the other day where I told him that it's ruining my life and making me seriously depressed because I feel like I can't even be in my own home due to him (no, he doesn't smoke inside, only outside but just the smell on him grosses me out). All I wanted to do was watch a movie in the basement where our TV and computers are, and he was 5 feet away from me and I just ran out of the room crying because it was so bad. He went and had a shower but then put on the same clothes (wtf?) so I could still smell it.
He says he's trying to quit but it never happens.
What should I do? I've already told him he has to quit or it's over for us. I originally gave him three months but that's up now as of next week and he still hasn't quit. He won't accept any help to quit either. He keeps trying to go cold turkey as he says that's the best way but he won't consider any other way like medication or gradually quitting.
Any suggestions? Am I being too harsh?