Question for the Answer Box: I have had two miscarriages but want to try again. I could use encouragement from anyone that has a baby after dealing with a loss.
I found out I'd had a miscarriage at my 12 week ultrasound. The baby had not developed past 8 weeks and I felt totally betrayed that my body kept going along with the pregnancy and giving me horrible morning sickness. It made me feel like I'd been lying for the previous month.
I did get pregnant my first full cycle after my loss. My pregnancy did have complications which I don't know if they were random, related to my loss or related to other stresses in my life. Although my daughter was born early, she is healthy and I'm happy I have her.
Most doctors do some testing after 3 miscarriages so see if there is anything wrong. Some will do testing if you get pregnant again to see if your homones are at normal levels. It is definitely worth asking!
DD1 July 2008 (41w3d)
November 2010 (13 weeks)
DD2 August 2011 (33w5d)
Hugs! I am trying again after two miscarriages. Both times, we had a heart beat that then later stopped. Like Danifo, mine were missed miscarriages in that I had to have intervention to complete the loss. While I don't yet have the happy ending of my rainbow baby I wanted you to know that you are not alone. Good luck with your journey and please know that it is possible!!
My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 7 weeks. Some advice a friend gave me when I told her about the loss based on her loss experience: keep trying as soon as possible. She got too scared after her loss and ended up waiting almost 5 years before trying again. I became pregnant again about 10 weeks later, after my first normal period, and am now at almost 31 weeks. I was very scared when I found out I was pregnant again, and that fear didn't ease until I had gotten past the 8 week mark...
It was an uneventful pregnancy up to about 26 weeks and then I started having constant Braxton Hicks contractions which have continued ever since. So far it has not progressed into active labor so the doc is just taking a "wait and see" attitude with appointments every 2 weeks.
But that is not to say it was because of the miscarriage that I'm having the contractions, there are a lot more stressors in my life outside of the miscarriage.
As the PP Danifo said the doctors should do testing if you have a 3rd loss, otherwise keep trying! Don't let your fear rule you.
When we were TTC Weston, I had at least three early miscarriages which were supposedly due to "old eggs" since I was in my 40s. (We really need a better "rolling eyes" icon!) One thing my wonderful OB reminded me of, is that even just about 30 years ago, there were no early pregnancy tests to pee on at home, so many women probably had early miscarriages and just thought their period was late. Conception & pregnancy are very complicated processes and there are a lot of things that might not go exactly right, and our bodies know that sometimes a pregnancy just isn't viable even though our hearts wish they all were. I now suspect that my issue was low progesterone since I was still nursing Tiven part-time; Weston was conceived within a few months of her weaning. My hormone levels were fine in multiple rounds of fertility testing but that's the only thing that changed. Low progesterone, or the related estrogen dominance, is quite common and it's one of the most common reasons for early miscarriage. Here's some information about progesterone and fertility: Progesterone and Fertility | Progesterone and Getting Pregnant
I don't think of zygotes as babies but my miscarriages were still heartbreaking not as a loss of a baby but as a loss of hope. To protect myself, I held fast to my rule to never test before CD 29 had come and gone, or 15 days after ovulation if it was later than normal. And then when I did get pregnant with Weston, I'd had so many instances where I'd get a BFP and then start bleeding the next day, I refused to test for about a week out of fear of jinxing things, LOL. He's a perfectly normal, happy 4-year-old, and I had a perfectly normal, actually super-easy, pregnancy. Wishing you all the best!
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Pregnancy losses change your perspective, don't they?
I had two first trimester miscarriages after my first pregnancy had been completely healthy and normal.
It made me feel so much more vulnerable, knowing that something bad could happen anytime, and I wondered if I'd ever be able to carry a pregnancy again, if DD1 would ever become a big sister, etc.
After those m/c, we TTA for a little while (just because of other things going on in our lives), then TTC for about a year before getting another BFP. That BFP turned into a healthy pregnancy, and our rainbow baby is now an energetic two year old.
Good luck to you, and don't forget to check out our TTC after a loss board.. There are some great ladies and resources on there.
I had two missed miscarriages before I got pregnant with my second son. It really does change your perspective and make it hard to keep hoping and trying. I think I spent most of my pregnancy with my DS2 (my rainbow baby) waiting for the other shoe to drop. In retrospect, I really wish that I had been able to relax more and enjoy that special time more. But having said that, DS2 is such an amazing addition to our family and our lives. He is the sweetest happiest little guy ever. I always think that he is worth everything we went through to get him x100000. So keep hoping, because when you do get your rainbow baby, you will appreciate him or her that much more.
-Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)
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