Too much 'advice' from grandparents

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MissyJ's picture
Last seen: 3 months 3 weeks ago
Joined: 01/31/02
Posts: 3289
Too much 'advice' from grandparents

Question for the Answer Box (i.e. responses from YOU!): Looking for advice. I love my parents and in-laws but both sets of parents keep trying to almost 'take over' parenting our kids. We just had our second (oldest is 2.5) and now it is worse. They offer nonstop advice or helpful 'corrections' on how we do things. I don't want to hurt feelings but fear I'm going to have to move us to Greenland or explode!

Spacers's picture
Last seen: 9 months 1 week ago
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4104

My first advice would be to try to not complain about things in front of them, because if they aren't being helpful, then you don't them to feel that you're asking for help or advice, kwim? If they persist in offering unwanted advice, then you have to tell them that they had all had their chance to raise their kids, and now it's your turn to do it your way, and if you want advice or help, you'll ask for it. Also remind them that a lot of things have changed in the past 20-whatever years so their advice might not be practical, safe, or appropriate to your family situation. Thankfully our parents stopped that behavior and we never had to resort to my final bit of advice, which is to cut them off if you really can't handle what they're doing to you. Tell them that their unwanted advice and needless meddling is putting their relationship with their grandkids at risk and that it needs to stop right now. If it doesn't, you get up and leave the room, taking the baby with you. Good luck!