Question for the Answer Box: Did any of you try to conceive as a single person? If you had to do it all over again would you? (I am ready for marriage & family. My partner is fine with having a baby but doesn't think marriage is important.)
We're not married.
We are engaged but it's more to show commitment.
Marriage isn't important to either of us.
Marriage may not be a life commitment now days but a child is
TTC 2 Years +
I have no problem with a single person deciding to have a child on their own, as in completely on their own with a sperm donor or surrogate. But I would never consider having a child with someone unwilling to commit himself legally to me and to our family. Making a baby together is the way to grow your family, not start it IMHO. So many important issues are resolved simply by the parents being married -- insurance, paternity, citizenship, inheritance, social security, etc. Marriage wasn't important to me until I saw, personally, how the government and courts treated my gay friends' partners when one of them died. They had set up everything legally that they could, and it wasn't enough, and I wanted those legal protections for myself and for my husband and for our future children. It's even more important when you bring a child into the mix. What if your partner dies while you are pregnant? Your child won't be eligible for a lot of things he'd be eligible for if you were married. What if there's an accident & you're unconscious? He has no legal right to make medical decisions for you or the baby. What if you get sick & can't work during your pregnancy? He's not obligated to support you, and you can't prove paternity until after the baby is born so you're on your own until then. And even then, if you aren't married, he's not obligated to support you, only the child. Unless you have a valid reason to *not* get married, I would advise you to pursue that first, and then get started on the baby-making.
The number of U.S. states in which a person can marry the person they love regardless of gender: 30 and counting!