Wedding shower advice

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raingirl28's picture
Joined: 09/03/07
Posts: 1347
Wedding shower advice

Hey everyone. I need advice. I'm going to a wedding in St. Louis, MO in November. Obviously a flying trip for me.

I just got the invite for the wedding shower which I can't attend (it's actually drivable for me but I will be visiting in-laws 1600km in the other direction). I want to send a gift though, is that normal to do? This is her second marriage, she already has three kids and is marrying a man already with kids (three as well I think). They don't need any of the traditional wedding "prepare for married life" stuff. Their wedding registry is one of those ones set up by a travel agency where you can contribute to their honeymoon.

Should I contribute to the registry vacation? Should I get her something for herself? I thought about making something as I do pottery and knitting (maybe a soft warm pretty scarf for winter?)

I probably have to mail it out in the next week though as it will take a few weeks to mail to the USA.

raingirl28's picture
Joined: 09/03/07
Posts: 1347

Also, she's a huge gamer (like me as I know her online from World of Warcraft - yes, I'm a geek) and a huge Hello Kitty fan. She has tattoos of Hello Kitty characters for all her kids.

I would love to do something geeky/gaming related.

Minx_Kristi's picture
Joined: 01/02/09
Posts: 1261

How well do you know her? Are you BFFs?


Joined: 01/06/03
Posts: 1175

I would try to send something. Not sure what Ms. Etiquette says officially, but I always feel if I'm invited to a shower or wedding that I should send a gift, even if for some reason I can't attend.

Jenn0113's picture
Joined: 03/09/07
Posts: 5335

I would wait and take the gift to the wedding. However, if she lives in Canada then I would mail the gift so she doesn't have to figure out how to get it back. Maybe you can mail it to the hostess for her to open at her shower - that would be a great surprise.

Something homemade is always great!

celticbandgeek's picture
Joined: 06/14/10
Posts: 950

When I had my shower last year, a few people who couldn't come sent either gifts or cards to the hostess to give to me. I thinking making her something would be really nice. Some of the nicest (and most treasured) gifts I got were things people made for me.

raingirl28's picture
Joined: 09/03/07
Posts: 1347

We aren't extremely close, just online friends mostly. She's only one of a few women online who play with us (there are maybe 6/7 of us and like 50 guys). She's awesome though, very nice and she runs our guild in WoW.

I think etiquette wise I should at least send something. I'm going to see if I can find some geeky WoW themed gift idea online.

carg0612's picture
Joined: 09/23/09
Posts: 1554

It would be nice to send a gift. I think sending a WoW gift would be great but so would something that you've made. Personal gifts for people like that are always so great!

In the personalized gift arena you could find something that lists all the names of her new blended family. As a blended family myself most people don't understand or appreciate how hard it can be. It's always such a treat when someone is thoughtful enough to include our whole crazy clan and life style.

Something as simple as a personalized plate, plaque, throw blanket, mug, etc. can be so appreciated for a blended family.

Hope you find that perfect soemthign for your friend - she's lucky to have you thinking of her!!

Starryblue702's picture
Joined: 04/06/11
Posts: 5454

IMHO, if she's asking for donations for her honeymoon, then either contribute to that or don't do anything. I hate to sound harsh, but I can't stand it when someone gets me something that I will never use. To me, it's not the thought that counts, because if that were the case then the person should have gotten me what I requested. I would rather get nothing (because then you might understand if they're having financial troubles or something like that) then something that I'll never use and just end up giving away to someone else. I'm speaking from experience, as in my baby shower I registered for things that I specifically needed for baby, and ended up getting a bunch of stuff that wasn't on my registry and I either didn't like or didn't need at all... and it was very frustrating. Again, I hope I'm not sounding like an a-hole or anything... this is just my feeling on it!