(xp) - time sensitive advice wanted -- wait or don't wait?

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ChristaM's picture
Last seen: 10 months 2 weeks ago
Joined: 01/11/04
Posts: 714
(xp) - time sensitive advice wanted -- wait or don't wait?


I need some advice!

I have had two recent miscarriages (November 2012 and July 2013). On 8/8 I met with a RE who has decided to do some tests (U/S and blood work). But, he wants me to wait one full cycle post the miscarraige before proceeding (wants to give time for my hormones and uterine lining to "normalize"). BUT, I TURN 41 in December and DH only wants to try for a limit time (he turns 48 in February).

Current Situation:
I'm on my first post miscarriage cycle now -- TODAY is my wedding anniversary and CD14. Well, this morning, I got a peak ovulation detection reading on my monitor (don't normally ovulate until day 18-19; but took some supplements/herbs this cycle which likely pushed it up) -- so, do we "try" or wait out this cycle as per advice from the RE?

I have mixed "signs":

On the positive -- I normally don't ovulate until closer to day 18-19 and it's our anniversary.

On the negative, our DD had a bad dream and ended up in bed with us last night. So, a quicky this morning wasn't an option - and even if it had been, DH had a migraine!


AlyssaEimers's picture
Last seen: 3 months 2 weeks ago
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6803


I did get pg with Caitlyn less than a month after having a m/c. There were pro's and con's. On the Con's side of things, try to imagine how hard it would be to have two losses back to back less than a month apart. Also if there was a second loss, would you blame yourself for not waiting? It also was difficult to know exactly how far along I was because there was no LMP to go from. In many situations knowing exactly how far along you are is not that big of a deal, but if you have preemies like me it is. On the pro's side of things, many people are very fertile right after a m/c (most of my pg's took at least 9 months. That month was a first try). Also, we all understand how hard it can be to have a loss and how much you want to try again right away.

In the end, no one can decide but you. I wish you all the best! :bigarmhug:

Danifo's picture
Last seen: 2 years 8 months ago
Joined: 09/07/10
Posts: 1377

My old doctor told me that for older women that she usually says just go for it unless they have underlying issues (like you need hormone treatment or something). She said that for most women the 3 months is more mental and your body won't ovulate unless it is ready to implant.

I got pregnant in the first full cycle after my loss. I was thrilled about being pregnant again. However, I started having heavy period like bleeding at 6 weeks and I realized that I was not ready for a loss. I had an u/s then and everything was fine. I had one at 8 weeks and it was still fine but it felt so fragile to me and I couldn't believe it was real. I had the bleeding for the first trimester.

If that was my first loss, I would still try this cycle because I would assume the loss was random. If I'd had several losses (even over multiple years), I would wait one more month and let him do his tests. Good luck deciding!

Spacers's picture
Last seen: 10 months 4 weeks ago
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4104

My doctor never told me to wait and I don't think I would have unless there was a medical reason for it, like if I needed to heal physically from a procedure. But I never considered my non-stickies as "losses" though so there wasn't really any emotion connected to them for me besides simply not being pregnant again. I say go for it, especially since it's your anniversary, who would want to actively avoid sex on their anniversary? Good luck!!!!


Minx_Kristi's picture
Last seen: 1 month 2 weeks ago
Joined: 01/02/09
Posts: 1262

I have no experience regarding miscarriage so I can't really relate to how you must be feeling. I say though, life is too short so get at it! Wink