No gifts

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Joined: 06/29/08
Posts: 1096
No gifts

I know we've talked about this before and some of you are pro no gifts at birthdays and some of you are against.

I am going to have a treasure hunt (weather permitting) and am still debating a bounce house for Miles's party. Both would be outside. Should I put a note in the invites that says to dress appropriately? If I do I was going to include on the note that presents are not necessary, just please come play on Miles's special day.

Would you be more or less likely to go to a party if it said gifts were not necessary?

To be fair, the kid has plenty of toys and we are going to have JUST got back from Disney world and I've kind of decided that I'm not going to get him a bday present, just buy him souveniers (within reason, lol).

Anyway, my other option is just, once parents RSVP to email them and tell them about dressing for the weather.

Thoughts?

Joined: 05/05/07
Posts: 366

At this age, I say no gifts = no problems. Last year we did a book exchange. Each kid brought a wrapped book, then we swapped books and each kid took a book home. That solves the goodie bag issue as well! Our friends thought it was a fantastic idea and each has done this for their own childs birthday this passed year as well!

BUT, Alex isnt in school yet so his friend parties are with our friends children. Since we are all on the same page, he has never been to a bday party with presents, so he doesnt know what he is missing. (FWIW, Alex has more stuff that I know what to do with and he certainly doesnt need 8 more toys he wont play with! haha)

As for how to dress, I would write in somewhere Join us for an outdoor treasure hunt and bouncey party! Please dress appropriately for outdoor fun. Socks required for bounce house. (or something like that- I think thats a rule, isnt it???). As long as the parents know its a outdoor party, they will be able to figure it out... I hope!!

Forgot to say: We would go with a gift to a party unless specifically stated it wasnt expected. It would hold no barring on whether we would attend or not. At this age, there is not way in H I would leave Alex alone at a bday party of a stranger to me. If it was at one of my friends childrens parties I would be comfortable, but if it was a school/daycare friend- no way. In my opinion if it said something about parents not needed I would be nervous that I wasnt invited/wanted to stay and if I wasnt comfortable leaving Alex alone there we wouldnt go. I do think at some age it is expected that the kids stay and parents leave. At 4, its debatable what is expected. I would leave that choice open for the parent to decide.

chefkel's picture
Joined: 08/06/07
Posts: 2190

re: the jump house just make sure you mention the jump house and I am sure the parents will know how to dress them.
We are doing one too..

gifts.. I am of the opposite camp on this... Wink

toothy35's picture
Joined: 02/20/06
Posts: 4578

i say let the parents know it will be an outside party...
maybe it's my area, but i have never recieved an invitation that said anything about bring a gift or don't bring a gift.....that's just weird to me...........so if you want a no gift party.......then i guess write it, because i have and never would go to aparty empty handed

luangwa's picture
Joined: 06/29/07
Posts: 8898

I think it is a given for absolutely every american that you attend a birthday party with a gift in hand. We have invited some kids who come from families that are on very limited incomes. I want these children at this party, but I know if I didn't state it they would not attend, simply because they really can't afford it.

I worded it like this. Gifts are not necessary, please come and play to help celebrate this day.

chefkel's picture
Joined: 08/06/07
Posts: 2190

I have gotten 1 invite for a 1yr old party that said "no gifts necessary" I brought our 3 favorite books for her.. I just can't go with nothing it's her BIRTHDAY! Birthdays are gifty to me Smile
I once went a 2nd baby baby shower and again I brought a few books for the library Wink

regdahl's picture
Joined: 05/05/07
Posts: 777

Definitely put on the invite something about an outdoor treasure hunt and bounce house. Parents should get what they need for their child.

If you want a no gift party just a simple "No gifts please." is fine. We've done that every year for Cohen's birthday. Family and his close friends still bring gifts but most don't.

Joined: 06/29/08
Posts: 1096

"luangwa" wrote:

I think it is a given for absolutely every american that you attend a birthday party with a gift in hand. We have invited some kids who come from families that are on very limited incomes. I want these children at this party, but I know if I didn't state it they would not attend, simply because they really can't afford it.

I worded it like this. Gifts are not necessary, please come and play to help celebrate this day.

THIS!! If people don't want to come...that's fine, but if they don't want to come because they can't afford a gift, well, that's different. There are A LOT of birthday parties every year and I get that people can't go to all of them and don't want to pick and choose so don't go to any because of the gift thing.

Is this the first year you're doing this? Do people actually show up with no gift?

Because I *can* afford it, I usually do like Kelly and take something small, like a book if it says no presents.

Oh, and FYI, for Miles's 1st birthday I actually did no gifts (not just no gifts necessary) and I got some cool stuff - one Mom gave me recipes for play-doh and a few other things. Another friend wrapped a HUGE box filled with tissue paper - best present of the day by far!!

regdahl's picture
Joined: 05/05/07
Posts: 777

[QUOTE=msmama]THIS!! If people don't want to come...that's fine, but if they don't want to come because they can't afford a gift, well, that's different. There are A LOT of birthday parties every year and I get that people can't go to all of them and don't want to pick and choose so don't go to any because of the gift thing.

Is this the first year you're doing this? Do people actually show up with no gift?

QUOTE]

Yes. We had most everyone show with no gift. Like I said, our family gets him gifts and our very close friends who we spend a lot of time with but everyone else did not bring gifts. If an invite says "no gifts" I personally think it's rude to bring one. If it says no gifts necessary that's different bc it's like bring one if you want but you don't have to. KWIM?? JMO. Smile

Jumarse's picture
Joined: 02/27/07
Posts: 5219

I wouldn't make a decision to go to a party based on whether presents were going to be given or not. We've been to both where the invite says nothing about gifts, so we bring something, and where invites say no gifts please, and we don't bring anything. The no gift parties there are always a couple people who still bring something though. I will say if I got something that said gifts are not expected, I'd bring something since I'd read into that to mean it's not expected, but appreciated. I don't see anything wrong with either scenario!

And I think folks covered it with the invite wording as far as being outside, hopefully the parents wouldn't dress their kids all in white lol!