Patience?

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DitherDither's picture
Joined: 04/16/09
Posts: 152
Patience?

Hi again!

I feel like I'm always in here asking about problems! I swear Rache is as good little guy most of the time, lol!

Anyways, we are having some major troubles with Rache being patient. Not surprising, being three...but I was wondering what y'all do to help your LOs learn patience? I feel like being three, Rache should understand a bit more about waiting for something, but then again, maybe not??

So, like today, we were in his room playing. I decided to clean a up a bit rather than play, and he, of course, doesn't like this. And so it begins: "Mommy, read this to me." "Okay, just let me finish putting away these clothes." No more than 3 seconds later.... "Mommy, read this." "Okay...just wait." No more than 5 second later..... "Mommy, READ THIS!"

All day, he was like this. I tried telling him that he does have to ask twice if I say yes, that I will do what he wants / needs after I finish what I was doing. I tried talking to him about being patient, what that means, etc. (And, of course that he also needs to be saying please...but, then again, if he says please, and I don't immediately do what he asks, he always says, "I said PLEASE!." It almost makes him more impatient since he asked 'right.' )

Am I expecting too much? Should he understand about waiting? Any tips? Help! (as always!)

Jumarse's picture
Joined: 02/27/07
Posts: 5219

We're in the same boat, so no advice just sympathy!

toothy35's picture
Joined: 02/20/06
Posts: 4578

patience is learned.......so just keep teaching!! i must say "mommy is busy,i'll be with you when i can" a hundred times a day!!!!!! LOL....someone always needs me, RIGHT when i start to do something!!! LOL!!!!!!!!

Allie01979's picture
Joined: 10/10/07
Posts: 4706

I always have to tell Aidan to be patient, he now tells me "I don't like to be patient" lol, it's learned, it will come, but it is frustrating

luangwa's picture
Joined: 06/29/07
Posts: 8898

ROFL Patience? This is how it goes around here

"momma, pease can you pay for me?"
"yes honey, just let me finish xyz"
"momma, I want you pay for me."
"you want me to play with you?"
"yes momma, pay for me."
"ok honey, I need to finish this first, you have to wait a bit."
"momma, pay for me now."
"Jax, I don't think you are listening."
"I not listen momma, doe way (go away) momma."
"Jax you need to have a little patience, I will play with you when I finish."
"doe way momma, I not listen momma."
"It's not nice to talk to me like that, Jax."
"I so sowwy momma, be nice now."
"It's ok buddy, I forgive you."
"pay for me now momma"
and on and on and on.......so yeah I think expecting patience and them understanding 'time' isn't quite there just yet. But, it doesn't mean that we should stop teaching it.
What does help with the endless badgering is if I ask him to help me finish what I am doing. You know he's not really helping, but he thinks he is and that's all he wanted in the first place, to do 'something' with me, have me interact with him. Of course this doesn't work if I'm nursing Abs. ROFL

Joined: 06/29/08
Posts: 1096

Yeah. I think what Mel said. They don't understand time so telling them wait a minute means the same as next year to them.

I've started experimenting with 2 things with so-so results.

1. I tell him exactly what I am going to do before I play. First I have to put this away, then x, y, z. And I try to suggest what he do while I finish. Why don't you go get out the cars for example.

2 . I tell him, I'll be ready to do this at a certain time. When the clock says x. This usually results in passing the time watching every minute pass on the clock.

Like I said, I've had moderate success with them but I find it diffuses. The situation enough to avoid a tantrum.

Joined: 06/09/06
Posts: 3264

"msmama" wrote:

Yeah. I think what Mel said. They don't understand time so telling them wait a minute means the same as next year to them.

I've started experimenting with 2 things with so-so results.

1. I tell him exactly what I am going to do before I play. First I have to put this away, then x, y, z. And I try to suggest what he do while I finish. Why don't you go get out the cars for example.

2 . I tell him, I'll be ready to do this at a certain time. When the clock says x. This usually results in passing the time watching every minute pass on the clock.

Like I said, I've had moderate success with them but I find it diffuses. The situation enough to avoid a tantrum.

This, exactly. (do you have a camera in our house, Emily? lol) Noelle has to wait a lot right now, unfortunately. It helps her if I tell her what I need to do before I can play with her. Giving her something to do in the meantime works, also, if it's something interesting to her. Clock watching can also work - at the very least she can talk about it for a while. lol Like Em said, we've also had moderate success with both of those.

I find that patience/whining/tantrums/other unwanted behavior cycles. It wasn't all that long ago that I was telling her 100 times a day to please be patient... right now, all I say is to please stop whining, use a pleasant voice, etc. I'm sure we'll be back to 'please be patient' really soon. lol

I just keep trying to remind myself that in a matter of just a few years, we're probably going to be complaining that they never want to be around us anymore... so I try to enjoy the fact that I have a Noelle magnet right now, for better and worse. Smile

Allie01979's picture
Joined: 10/10/07
Posts: 4706

another thing that kind of helps is relating time to something they understand, like if I tell Aidan I will tend to him in half an hour, that means nothing, but If I say, I'll come get you in one Mickey Mouse clubhouse, or in two Toopy and Binoo shows, he understands a bit better.

StateChick's picture
Joined: 03/22/07
Posts: 3629

Yep, like the others, I try to give specifics - "I will get your lunch when Wade is finished eating." "We will go outside when Ella wakes up from her nap." "Sit on the couch while I feed Wade and when I'm done, we'll xyz..."

But that doesn't always stop C from asking 100 times. Smile

mbowman's picture
Joined: 08/22/07
Posts: 1063

Right there with all of you! Yesterday was particularly frustrating as Nate's nurse had the day off, DH was working and every time I'd go to do something for Nate, Delaney was yell from across the house that she wanted something...a drink, turn on a movie, etc. And I kept yelling back at her, "as soon as I'm done feeding Nate"

I also think it helps to sidetrack her. Sort of like what Mel mentioned with helping. Then she usually forgets what she wanted in the first place.

I've really noticed the impatience lately, so maybe it's a stage they're reaching.

DitherDither's picture
Joined: 04/16/09
Posts: 152

Y'all always have great ideas to help! Today Rache wanted to listen to a CD of his that goes along with a book, but I was cleaning up a bit, so I told him to play with his castle (a favorite toy) until I was finished cleaning the table. What do you know? It kinda worked! He did ask again, but the whole situation didn't devolve into a crying fit like it has been. I'm calling it a small victory! Smile Woo hoo!