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Joined: 04/14/07
Posts: 793

Have you all had the "strangers" conversation with your Blossom yet? We've brought up a few variations of it a few times in the past couple of years. He knows that if he ever gets lost, he can tell a policeman or fireman his name, his mommy's name and his daddy's name. But when I bring up the strangers conversation - no talking to strangers, not getting in stranger's cars, etc, he doesn't seem to understand. Here's how part of a recent conversation went:

Me: So, remember that we don't talk to strangers, right?
Tyler: Stranger?
Me: yeah, someone you don't know. We don't talk to people we don't know, right.
Tyler: Mommy, we should play nice with all our friends.
Me: Yes, that's true. But if someone you don't know comes up and talks to you and mommy and daddy aren't there, you walk away, ok?
Tyler: What's his name?
Me: I don't know - that's why he is a stranger. And you don't get in anyone's car unless mommy or daddy is there to help you in, right?
Tyler: But what's his name?
Me: I don't know, Tyler. That doesn't matter - only that we don't know him. OR her.
Tyler: What's her name?

And that's how our conversation ends. He gets caught up on that question and doesn't let go. LOL. I know that he's still young and that by just having the conversation casually from time to time, something will sink in. At least, I hope. I feel like I going about this blindly. How do you all do it?

Joined: 01/18/06
Posts: 1626

We had to have this conversation last summer since Violet had a few times where she literally bolted from us, top speed. I still have nightmares.

At the time since I was so scared I laid it out really clearly. There are people that we don't know. Sometimes they aren't nice and they would take you away from mommy and daddy just to be mean, and we would never see each other again. I had to get through to her since this bolting thing was more than once.

We have since had conversations where I explain that there are mostly nice people in the world and it's okay to be friendly and say hi, but never to go with anyone else.

I remember as a kid being taught that if we were to get lost, to look for a grandmother-type person or another mother with children. I am going to start teaching that to her soon too, since this summer I'm sure she'll be all over the playground and with school starting in the fall, I want her to know how to make her own safe choices when I'm not within eye sight.

Joined: 04/14/07
Posts: 793

I like the "other mother with children" thing. DH and I have talked about the practicality of the whole fireman/policeman thing before - we started it so he knew not to be afraid of them and it expanded into going to them if he ever gets lost, especially at really busy places. But really, how often do you see a fireman/policeman just walking around. It's not always a practical solution, kwim? Teaching him to look for another mother with children is a good idea.

We've had conversations on WHY we don't talk to strangers - similar to what you described above. That there are some people who aren't nice and might want to take him away. He listens and nods, and then asks, What's his name?? LOL

Joined: 06/29/08
Posts: 1096

I have just told Miles that he is not allowed to go with anybody except Mommy and Daddy.

And if he gets lost either find a worker if he knows what they look like or find another Mom or Dad and ask them to help him find a worker. I don't want to emphasize "stranger danger" because I think that is confusing. It doesn't make sense to say don't talk to anybody, except in certain situations, especially at this age.

mommyvolc's picture
Joined: 03/22/07
Posts: 1296

We've not done the don't talk to strangers thing because Alicia is super shy and we are continuously encouraging her to go up to other kids and try to make friends Smile We have talked about never getting in a car with anyone other than Mommy, Daddy or GPs. She also knows that she is to ask another mommy or daddy for help if she can't see Rob or I. And she knows she is to scream NO as loud as possible if someone tries to touch her and she isn't with them. We had a problem with this this summer though - she kept yelling at other parents at the playground. I will have to work on this one before the spring.

DJ is going to be a whole other story...the kid is a social butterfly and a wanderer. Joy.

I will have to start talking to Alicia about this soon as she will be going to school in the fall, but since she is so shy and timid, I'm worried I'm going to make her more scared, iykwim.


regdahl's picture
Joined: 05/05/07
Posts: 777

We have not done this talk yet but I'm glad you brought it up. I hadn't really even thought about it. Happy to have some tips on how to do it too!

mbowman's picture
Joined: 08/22/07
Posts: 1063

We haven't crossed this bridge yet. If Delaney goes to the store with me, I make her ride in a cart. We live in such a small town, she is easily in sight at a park. I too like the idea of having them look for a mom or grandma.

SPCN319's picture
Joined: 06/14/06
Posts: 2118

We've talked about it a little and it is confusing. It's a hard concept to explain. A local police officer told our MOMS Club that they don't really focus on stranger danger anymore because it IS so confusing and that most abuse comes from people they know. They try to teach more about good touch, bad touch, etc. and how to handle that.

He does know if he gets lost in a store/restaurant, to look for a worker and to ask for help. We've also been trying to teach him our "real" names so if he ever does get lost, he can tell someone WHO mommy is. It's so easy to lose them in clothing racks and whatnot, I'm always scared of that. Our rule growing up was to always find a door and wait by it if we got lost. It would make it easier for the parents to find you, I suppose.

brandifawn's picture
Joined: 05/28/07
Posts: 348

We have touched on it some and in his class at school they have talked about it some as well, so I feel like we've covered it enough for now. Nicholas will tell me "that man is a stranger, I won't talk to him" and things like that. He also knows never ever leave somewhere with anyone except Mommy or Daddy even if they say we told them to tell you. It is a confusing thing, but we touch on it as needed. I do like the find another mom with kids idea since I know there will come a time that he does lose me at the park or whatever and the other moms he knows won't be there either. We tend to travel with other moms and kids, so my boys are really comfortable approaching most other moms on the playground so I think they'll get that pretty easy.

chefkel's picture
Joined: 08/06/07
Posts: 2190

anytime I bring up strangers for about 48 afterwards Owen points and yells "MOMMMMY HE IS A STRANGER!"

it gets old fast...

I love the idea of a mommy with kids or a grandma