UPDATED: Realizing a few may not already know (Loss Mentioned)

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I LOVE YOU's picture
Joined: 11/25/06
Posts: 593
UPDATED: Realizing a few may not already know (Loss Mentioned)

Most saw my update on FB, . . . but when we went in Friday for the 8 week ultrasound there was no heartbeat and the baby was still measuring at 6 weeks. Sad

I'm should start to mc any day now. I've already passed a little tissue, but no heavy bleeding yet.

We have one more try. They have 2 more frozen embryos so as soon as we are healthy enough we will give this another try.

We're all very sad, but feeling at peace.

I'll paste in what I wrote on the private FB group below . . post #22

XO, Jamie

:wavehello: I started a Private Group on Facebook to give updates, but some of you are not on Facebook. If you are on FB but i haven't added you to the group, my apologies. Let me know and I will add. . . .

I am almost 8 weeks pregnant, as a surrogate. My aunt-in-law and her husband are the intended parents. I was implanted with their embreyo, so the baby is 100% theirs. It has been a crazy and exciting process. We were told there was only a 20% chance at best that this would result in a positive pregnancy, and are super thrilled that we have come this far. We saw a heartbeat at 6 week ultrasound and have another ultrasound this Friday.

It's a secret for the rest of our extended family, per the intended parent's wishes, until at least after the first trimester, so please no comments on my regular facebook page.

I don't get on here as often as I like so I decided that Facebook was an easier place. Hope you guys can join me there. And I will try to give updates here too.

I LOVE YOU's picture
Joined: 11/25/06
Posts: 593

Oh, and a million THANK YOUs to all the wonderful, special souls that have been following and encouraging me. Can't imagine doing this without you guys!

toothy35's picture
Joined: 02/20/06
Posts: 4578

you are just so awesome..........yay!!!!!!! glad your gonna share your story here too!!!!!! i think of questions all the time to ask you.....i totally love what you are doing and i am totally worried about how you are going to feel "the day after".........so i am here for you today and for every "day after" feeling you may have!!!!! you are amazing on levels i can't even begin to explain or comprehend!!!!!!!!!!

shefrn1's picture
Joined: 08/28/07
Posts: 4148

Yahoo

EmilyC3's picture
Joined: 10/27/07
Posts: 1170

JP you are a true saint. I am so happy that we are friends and we get to "share" in this journey with you! You know that I am here for you 100% any time of day or night if you need anything. :bigarmhug:

mbowman's picture
Joined: 08/22/07
Posts: 1063

You're amazing and giving a truly selfless gift!

luangwa's picture
Joined: 06/29/07
Posts: 8898

JP, I remember occasionally to pop on fb and check out your journey. I always seem to be a day or 2 behind your posts. You are truly an amazing woman, I'm so proud I know you. Do the babies parents have access to your surrogate page?

Jumarse's picture
Joined: 02/27/07
Posts: 5219

JP you are just an absolutely amazing woman!!! I am so glad you decided to share this and that we get to be a part of it!!!

tybaysmom's picture
Joined: 04/08/07
Posts: 483

Oh JP you are truly an amazing selfless woman! I am so happy that you are allowing so many of us to share in your journey! Hugs girl!!! :bigarmhug:

I LOVE YOU's picture
Joined: 11/25/06
Posts: 593

"luangwa" wrote:

JP, I remember occasionally to pop on fb and check out your journey. I always seem to be a day or 2 behind your posts. You are truly an amazing woman, I'm so proud I know you. Do the babies parents have access to your surrogate page?

Nope. It's my own secret little support group. I'd love for them to see and share in the support, because it is incredibly heartwarming and encouraging, but I need the space to be open and honest, vent, etc Smile Besides, they aren't even on Facebook. They're kinda private people and think Facebook and putting personal info into space is scary. They don't even know I have a private group and am sharing (online). I'm not sure what they would think about that. :eek: Note: We have shared family that IS on Facebook, which is why I can't post on my regular page.

Joined: 07/03/11
Posts: 131

Wow! I have no words to express how amazing this is! Cyrus and Rocco are so lucky to have a mother who can teach them about such love and selflessness! Congratualtions! I can't wait to follow the journey!! :bigarmhug:

YooperGirl8's picture
Joined: 10/24/08
Posts: 1095

JP - I can't express just how proud I feel to know someone who would do this for someone else. This is truly such an awesome gift. I can't wait to follow your journey.

Karrie5's picture
Joined: 05/29/08
Posts: 2993

You are so amazing JP!!!!!!! I'm so excited to follow you through your journey!

ETA: I just checked, I'm not part of the group. Can I be added?

Jennilynnjeff's picture
Joined: 06/11/07
Posts: 314

Wow, JP!! Wish we were friends on FB sooner! I knew your plans when you first mentioned them but had no idea where you were in the process! I am so proud of you! It truly takes a special person to do what you're doing and you really are!! So excited to get to watch your journey! XXOO

mtmomma's picture
Joined: 07/06/07
Posts: 912

I would love to follow you on your FB page if that is okay. What an amazing journey you are on!!!

mommyvolc's picture
Joined: 03/22/07
Posts: 1296

Congrats JP, that is just amazing. My cousin-in-law has been a surrogate 3 times and has really enjoyed the experience. I've told my sister that I will carry for her, if she wants me too. She said she wanted to get a surrogate but didn't have anyone to ask. If you don't mind, I'd love to follow you on facebook as well. I'll pm you my full name.

Nicole

Maddz's picture
Joined: 08/17/07
Posts: 1759

CONGRATULATIONS on the pregnancy

I do have a facebook but i'm not sure how you'll find me.... I'm pretty not searchable. if you find me I'd love to be added.

I LOVE YOU's picture
Joined: 11/25/06
Posts: 593

Woohoo. Added a bunch of you!

Maddz, Not sure how to find you. Are you linked with any other preg.org girls? If you are, come find me, . . I'm Jamie P*

A lot of the details are burried in the early posts, so the newly added friends may have to search way back. I will try to put a summary of sorts together to get everyone to speed on the history and what not. *This is not a promise Smile and/or may not be timely LOL. Please don't hesitate to post a comment with any/all questions.

SPCN319's picture
Joined: 06/14/06
Posts: 2118

You are so amazing JP. Smile Muah!

Shelzabel's picture
Joined: 08/27/07
Posts: 1048

Wow... i'm totally amazed by you. Would love to follow along on your journey- can I be added as well? Biggrin

AshnBill's picture
Joined: 11/06/06
Posts: 5333

:lurk:
JP, that is so exciting! What a wonderful thing you are doing for them!

I LOVE YOU's picture
Joined: 11/25/06
Posts: 593

From Facebook::

My dearest friends. Very sad news. We lost the baby. At yesterday's ultrasound there was no heartbeat and the baby was still measuring at 6 weeks.

I'm devastated. The IPs are devastated. I really wasn't expecting that and am still shocked.

The ultrasound tech first tried to view through my tummy. We could see the little sac but couldn't really pinpoint the baby. She said she needed to check intra vaginal. I went to empty my bladder and came back to undress. I was already worried. I remember at the 6 week appt we could vaguely see a flicker of the heartbeat through the tummy. . Sure enough the internal ultrasound showed the sac with only a small bean, no flicker. The tech was quiet. I exchanged worried looks with the IPs. The tech took measurements and I started to cry. The IPs and I held hands. And the tech said, well, I'm not a doctor, but I think you can see.. the baby is measuring at 6 weeks and 3 days. She got the doctor to talk us through the results and what to expect next.

I'm stopping the rest of the hormones I've been taking, which probably have been preventing the miscarriage from happening already. I should start cramping and bleeding in the next few days.

I keep re playing the appointment in my head and re living the shock and emotions. The IF and I were pretty numb but the IM was trying to be positive and talk through the logic points: we have one more try, it wasn't a healthy baby, it's better it happened now than finding out at 3 months the baby isn't healthy and having to make a decision, everything happens the way it's supposed to. All true and good points. But of course the emotions are still there.

After the 6 week ultrasound the IPs pushed that they wanted us (Kamy and I) to take a little vacation away from the kids. They'd watch the boys while we went went off. We had agreed that Friday 7/8 after the ultrasound, they would take the boys and bring them back late at night and my mom would stay the night with them at our place while we went out, stayed in a hotel and had a great day the next day too. After the news I didn't want to do this. They still wanted us to go through with it. Said it would help them to not focus on the news and take the boys and we could go and be alone and have some time. I can't imagine that after the news they would want to go and babysit someone else's kids. I wouldn't. But we moved forward with the plan and I am grateful. Kamy and I went and got pedicures, ate dinner downtown, had dessert and checked into our hotel. Since I could, I had a few drinks, and even smoked a joint (sorry if that shocks or offends). We slept through the night and I woke up at 9. The sleep was the greatest gift. I'm sitting in the hotel bed now, feeling the mix of gratefulness (for this time) and sarrow.

It took so much to get to where we did. And even though we knew there was low odds and risks it really felt like we already overcame the major obstacles. I know it was early and I wasn't thinking we were in the clear per se, but I wasn't expecting it.

They have 2 more frozen embryos. I still have to miscarry but want to restart the process as soon as we can.

I know I just added a bunch of new friends to this journey and I'm sorry that my first post for you is this sad news. I will be keeping this journey alive as it is not over. I hope you'll all stick with me as we give it a second try.

You're love and support has been the most heartwarming and special thing. Thank you.

toothy35's picture
Joined: 02/20/06
Posts: 4578

i'm so sorry jp........ Sad
(((((((((HUGS))))))))))
i wish it didn't end this early,
but i'll be here for round 2.....
you are awesome and i am so glad you
all are at peace

Jumarse's picture
Joined: 02/27/07
Posts: 5219

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Sad I'm sorry for all of you. I'm glad you've found peace, that's a wonderful thing! We're here every step of the way for you, however much you can stand! Love you sweetie, you are a truly amazing loving woman. :bigarmhug:

EmilyC3's picture
Joined: 10/27/07
Posts: 1170

My heart aches for you, my friend :bigarmhug: You are such a wonderful amazing person for even doing this, let alone gearing up for another round after all that has happened. I am here for you every step of the way. Please let me know if you need anything :bigarmhug:

luangwa's picture
Joined: 06/29/07
Posts: 8898

Awe JP, I'm just so very sorry. Sad :bighug:

stupidcomputer's picture
Joined: 12/11/08
Posts: 374

:bighug:

PaulaJoFSU's picture
Joined: 08/12/07
Posts: 4019

:bigarmhug: I love you and I am so heartbroken for everyone. So amazed by your strength and Will be with you every step of this journey. You are amazing!

tybaysmom's picture
Joined: 04/08/07
Posts: 483

:bigarmhug: I'm so sorry. Sad

Karrie5's picture
Joined: 05/29/08
Posts: 2993

I'm so sorry JP. I'm so glad you all are at peace with this. :bigarmhug:

Joined: 01/17/07
Posts: 508

So very sorry, you are such an amazing, strong, giving woman!