"Brat"

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prynn's picture
Joined: 08/18/09
Posts: 578
"Brat"

So today was my Mom's birthday and we went out to eat. My cousin came along. She is 7 years older than me and we've always been close but I've always felt that she's thought of me as a 'brat' in a way--I don't know how to explain it really. I just feel like she thinks I'm not quite as smart as her and that I'll always be the baby and she'll always be the older, wiser one. But even still, we're really close and have always been good friends.

Today in the restaurant, Maia was in rare form. She was not happy sitting to wait for our food (it took a really long time) and she got fidgety and started to do her little tantrum ear-splitting scream. So DH takes her out of her seat and walks her around the dining area, diffusing the situation.

My cousin then tells me that I'm 'going to have a hard time with that one' and that she'll be a brat if I don't nip the tantrums in the bud. But the way she said it made me realize that she thinks Maia is a brat NOW.

She doesn't have children and often comments on how bratty other kids are but hearing her call Maia a brat... wow. I didn't know what to say or do. I just told her that DH was diffusing the situation the only way we knew how and that I didn't think she was destined to be a brat because she gets fussy as a 16 month old.

This is a long story, but are any of you dealing with this sort of thing? I just feel bummed out now!

ash0110's picture
Joined: 03/22/07
Posts: 393

Nathan is a brat in restaurants. I have to bring him food for while we wait. I wouldn't let her comment bother you. Maia is a toddler, she will have her moments!

a's girl's picture
Joined: 06/10/07
Posts: 1008

Alison was pitching a fit during dinner one night and my father-in-law called her a troll. I sort of tripped out. My mama bear instinct sort of came out to say the least. Thankfully my mother-in-law backed me up with "remember how the kids were when they were small, Alison is a piece of cake". Made me feel better. Kids will be kids. They are at a hard stage because they can't express what they want or need and so they screech. They will out grow it.

natesangel's picture
Joined: 07/26/08
Posts: 1419

totally sounds normal to me!!! always try to take comments like that with a grain of salt, especially from someone who doesn't have them. alot of parents of older kids don't always remember them being this difficult at this age, so i say :raspberry1: keep doing what you're doing, at least you both try to diffuse it, it's the parents that just sit there and talk louder and totally ignore it that i find annoying! that is NOT the way to teach appropriate behaviour, getting up and doing something else is the better option!!!

mostly we don't have this issue with jade (yet?) but we always have something, her water/juice colouring, small game to distract, or her and daddy go wander!

wobbs's picture
Joined: 05/27/10
Posts: 1502

Sounds pretty normal to me! We always bring some extra food or other things to distract. People who don't have children shouldn't talk ... tantrums are pretty normal now, better to distract when you can't solve, than just ignore.

mommycarrie's picture
Joined: 09/07/06
Posts: 358

I think people without children don't usually understand. I think if people see me holding Katie, they just see a lady passively holding a baby. But I know that I'm shifting her weight around to make her comfortable, reading her body language if she wants something, listening to her babbles and responding, and teaching her appropriate social behaviors by modeling my interactions with other people. It's a lot more work than it looks like, even when the baby is being amiable! Smile

PS: Katie is high maintenance all the time... no worries - they're babies and they're not meant to sit silently for long periods of time.
PPS: sounds like your cuz is kind of a brat to say those things to you. Blum 3

prynn's picture
Joined: 08/18/09
Posts: 578

Thanks, ladies!! :bigarmhug: The more I think about it, the more I realize it's probably just my own insecurities over being the "baby brat" of the family. But I'm glad to hear that it's not just Maia and me who are going through this. I'm so glad I have y'all to vent to.

Kayla1981's picture
Joined: 01/04/07
Posts: 1529

I know what it's like to have the reputation of being the brat. I am the baby of the family (my sisters are 5 and 9 years older) and I know I got on their friends nerves sometimes. I still carry that feeling around with me that I might still be seen as the brat!

But if someone were to call Jordan a brat for being a normal 17 month old then I would be hurt and angry. Like everyone else said, it's just the age they are at. Your cousin will understand if she ever has children of her own.

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