Tips for Tantrums

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prynn's picture
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Tips for Tantrums

I needs them.

Every night before bed we have a HUGE tantrum now. And whenever I have to wash her face or comb her hair or change her diaper or brush her teeth we have a huge tantrum. I hope to hold that over her when she's a vain teenager. LOL

I tried the methods in Happiest Toddler on the Block because he really helped through colic in his Happiest Baby book but the whole talking like a caveman thing just doesn't seem to work and seems a bit weird, besides.

I know that this, too, shall pass, but in the meanwhile--any ideas, gals??

mommycarrie's picture
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For DS, when he threw a tantrum, we'd just set him down and walk away. As long as he was in a safe place we'd just let him finish his tantrum and then start again. Now, sometimes that's not feasible, like in the bathtub - he still hates having water in his face, so we've found ways to work around it and to work FAST.

Katie doesn't throw fits often, but lord does she bite! I'm making a separate post about it now...

natesangel's picture
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ditto carie, same rules as the screaming, time out and ignored behaviour, stay calm and try not to react,talk it out when its over ("that was naughty we behave *positive alternative* when *whatever")! this too shall pass! good luck!

wobbs's picture
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Same here, I ignore when it's safe to do so. For bedtime, I found moving it up really helped, because she was just overtired and that's why she was melting down.

Kayla1981's picture
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I do notice that Jordan gets more difficult when she's tired but we also have difficulty during diaper changes. Interrupting her playing is not her idea of fun!

I agree that ignoring the tantrum is best when possible. But I realize that is hard when you are trying to accomplish something, like bathing, brushing, etc. I think just going on with it as best as possible is probably best. Sometimes we have to force Jordan to let us put on her diaper and PJ's.

The only thing I might not force is the brushing her teeth. Our Pediatrician said they are very 'oral protective' at this age and not to force it too much. I really do try as best as possible to get her teeth cleaned but we don't hold her down IYKWIM.

Also, can you try singing silly songs? Sometimes if I make a silly sound or sing a funny made up song that helps. I do that while wiping her face and hands after eating.

hysimmonds's picture
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We are dealing with fussiness during those same times, not outright tantrums though because I try to stop them.

Bath time is a nightmare with David if we wait too close to bedtime and he's tired. He still gets an *extremely* quick wash down while he's crying and get him out asap. I've started giving them their milk just before a bath and start at an earlier time which has helped. Another fun thing we did was give them glow sticks & turn off the lights while in the tub (but I can still see them).

For diaper changes Rachel is the squirmer. I give them a sheet of stickers to hold/play with and that can usually keep her attention long enough. They don't always get down from the bed with pants back on, but at least they are diapered.

For brushing teeth, they will both shake their heads no but if I giggle and shake my head no in a dramatic way in sync with them it makes them smile so big and I can get some brushing done then....with toothpaste smeared across their faces, but they get cleaned teeth and are giggling.

I try to distract tantrums with something funny/laughing or will ignore it completely if we aren't trying to accomplish something.

a's girl's picture
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Oh my goodness...I am soooo glad to read this thread!! I was thinking that Alison was the only one throwing fits!! She has been screaming if she doesn't get to do what she wants when she wants it. DH picked her up and moved her because she thought that climbing onto the kitchen table would be a good idea. She screamed and she actually hauled off and smacked him!!! He put her in the corner for a time out and she got up screaming and went over to the kitchen chair and smacked it!!! So he put her back down and just let her scream. She finally got up about a minute later after she had screamed and even gagged a little and came over to me sniffling. I asked her if she was done and she nodded yes. I picked her up and she was ok after that. But goodness!! Between her being a total clutz and having skinned knees and now the screaming...our neighbors probably think we beat her!!

prynn's picture
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Thank you, ladies! I had done the ignoring trick for tantrums back when I used to babysit this 4 year old who would throw one practically everyday. But with Maia I seemed to be unable to do it. I took your advice, however, and it's really seemed to help. She'll still start the tantrum but I guess she sees that it's not getting her anywhere. I've also started to give her more choices, like asking her if she wants apple-sauce or yogurt or if she wants to wear the monkey or flower PJs. I think maybe that's helping a bit, too.

But she still seems to want to be a nudist baby with ratty hair and a dirty face and sticky hands all the time. ROFL