...how many of you are having family come stay with you for a little?
I ask because this is the first baby I'm having where I'm far away from family. DD1 I was still living with my mom, DD2 I lived 5-10 minutes away from my mom. This one we're 1500 miles away.
While we were down visiting family for the holidays (we just got back 1 1/2 hours ago), my dad told me I needed to ask my mom to come stay with us after DS is born. He also told DH that my mom wants to come, but wants us to invite her. Lol so I dunno if my dad is just pushing because he knows my mom would like to go or if she really did say that.
I told my dad that I wanted to wait to see how big LO is at my next appt and what the dr says about the possibility of going early and such. Also though, not to sound mean, I can only handle so much of my family. I like my space. But after just spending 12 days with them non stop I don't want to think of another trip type thing lol.
But if any of you ladies are having family come stay for a little, when and how long?
Since DH isn't going to get much (if any) time off for this baby, I'm thinking of having my mom come and stay for about a week. But like you I really like my personal space and I don't deal very well with being invaded. If my mom comes, she comes with my youngest sister and it gets to feeling very crowded. I'm really hoping my VBAC works out for the quicker recovery time, so I will hopefully need less help, but with an 18 month old and newborn, I think it'll take some adjustment time. The more I think about it the more scared I get about it all. I still don't know who is going to watch DD for us. She's never been away from me for more than a few hours and certainly not overnight.
Having people stay in my house just after giving birth is the last thing I would ever want.
Thankfully, my house is too small for overnight guests. My family lives close by though (within an hour's drive). And hubby's parents are dead. So it's not really an issue. But, I would NOT be inviting people to stay at my house directly after giving birth.
My husband was home for about a week after I gave birth. After that he went back to trucking (had to pay the bills!!) I managed just fine on my own. Of course it was hard, but I'd rather have my space than have to deal with people getting in the way. Visitors who just stay a couple hours is much easier to cope with lol.
I too need my space after giving birth. Luckily my parents are very close and DH's are just 1.5 hrs, so they can drive. But if my mom was that far away I would maybe invite her to come for 5 days about 2 weeks after my due date. If you do not really need the help then she does not need to come right away, but I know my mom would be hurt if I did not invite her to come shortly after the birth. And she would be dieting to see the LO.
I forgot to mention that since DH isn't set to deploy anytime soon (YAY!!!!) he will guarantee to be around and gets 10 days of leave to be with us. I'm a little nervous about who's going to stay with the kids (although I have a pretty good idea who it will be...one of my friends who lives close by that the kids LOVE) mainly because the longest I've been away from DD2 is, no joke, 5 hours. And that was only recently. DD1 I was away from overnight after having DD2 and it bothered me a lot (I didn't get to see her for 2 days because of the whole swine flu worry).
But I also don't think our house is big enough for someone to stay in other than us once I bring DS home...plus I figured that after DS was born DH would go back home with the girls if it was night time, or stay with me a little, then bring the kids (and friends) up after he's born if day time.
I love my family to death but gah I just stress thinking about having to play host LOL. Also I'm not sure if that means my dad would be coming too...don't get me wrong, my kids LOVE my parents, as do I, but I sort of planned on having time for all of us before they came to visit and see the new baby. And also, how long would they stay...gah.
Wow it could be as soon as 10 weeks that he be could be here!
mil and bil moved in after fil passed away so should be interesting.....this was after ds was over a year old, we didn't have anyone at our house or visit for long when ds was first born. Not looking forward to trying to bf with them around (esp at the begining when lo feeds often and those wonderful growth spurts)
ds1 Evan ds2 Adam
I would give anything to have my mom come and stay but unfortunately she passed away over the summer. However I do have my sisters in town (one of whom has 2 kids herself) and I think my MIL and maybe even my SIL will be coming down to stay with us. I'm very fortunate to have a family that won't be stressful houseguests! I'm really looking forward to it.
I plan on having my mom come for a few days right when baby arrives. She will actually have to fly in once labor starts and come stay with my 2 kids while we are at the birth center. My sister lives 2 hours away and is our standby until she arrives. Then my IL's will come and stay for a few days as well. I'm pretty ok with it this time as it will be helpful to have family come run my 6 year old around and help out with DS2 who will just barely be 18 months old. DH has very little time he will take off since he doesn't get paid when he isn't at work (commercial electrician) and is a foreman on a big job.
With my last I was dead set against having anyone come stay with us and help. Some similar reasons that I didn't want to have to entertain people in my house and I wanted space cause we were having a homebirth. Our family lives far away so they'd have to stay and we had some pushy aunts that were wanting to come starting the week DS2 was due. Ugh. DS2 ended up being in the NICU for a week, 2 hours away from our house, and we actually needed all those pushy people to come and stay. In the end we had about 3 weeks worth of various family members come and stay with us and it turned out mostly fine. It was nice having someone help with chores, cleaning, cooking, and taking DS1 to activities and DH was able to go back to work after a week like planned. Turns out our house really is big enough to host overnight guests and not feel like I'm going to loose it.
~Joy~ DS1-8/5/05, DS2-10/18/10 (VBAC#1), DS3- 4/11/12 (VBAC#2!)
When my second daughter was born, my MIL came to stay with DD1 while we were in the hospital, and for a few days after. We were living on a military base in the California desert, and all of our family was 1200+ miles away. I think it really depends first on your personality, if you naturally need space or if you prefer having help, whatever the case may be. Secondly, like someone else said, it can REALLY depend on the type of relatives/ILs you have, and whether or not you can stand them to be in your space for that long. I have some relatives that wouldn't be a help at all, and would just try to be a baby hog. On the other hand, my MIL (actually my ex-MIL, but she's more in my life now than with her son) is amazing and I wouldn't trade her for anything. We've agreed that she is welcome to consider this LO as much her grandchild as she wants. The rest of the grandparents are either addicts, 500+ miles away, and/or don't seem too interested.
Well DH is going to be taking 2 weeks of vacation to be with me and the baby. My mom lives less than 30 minutes away, and we just discussed the other day that she would take up to a week off to be with me after DH goes back to work. As for DH's parents, they live 2 hours away, and I dont if they would stay in a hotel for a couple days after LO is born, or what they would do. We dont have room, except for a large couch, for anyone to stay at our house, so unless MIL stayed by herself, I dont think they would stay long. I love my in-laws and am close to them, but it would seem akward to have MIL staying here during the day, and DH would probably get tired of having her after a couple of days. LOL