Appt update and ranting *** UPDATED W/MORE RANTING***

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PsycheGal's picture
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Appt update and ranting *** UPDATED W/MORE RANTING***

So I had my appointment yesterday. Baby sounds great, only gained one more pound...

It was DH's birthday so we were going to sneak in a restaurant meal before going to the MW so I didn't actually eat anything -- however, I did have

2 cups of coffee w/sugar
2 malta's (it's a malted drink full of sugar/carbs)
an entire COKE from Wendy's (cause was thirsty on the way and thought F-it)
and my DH gave me this iced coffee thing that makes a frappuccino look like the healthiest meal on the planet.
Oh, and mom gave me a symphony bar and I ate that.
-- Of course, the night before I ate ice cream cake at 3am - bad me!

(Mind you, this was like alien day for me, I normally don't even drink soda or malta or that much coffee - I was trying to hold myself over so I could actually stuff my face at the restaurant)

So, my mom and I get in an argument before I am supposed to leave with DH and she decides to take off and not come back until 45 minutes before my appointment -- needless to say we pushed the meal till AFTER we went in.

So then I go to the bathroom for my pee - dipstick - and low and behold my horrid food intake showed up immediately with trace amounts of sugars.

So the MW totally FREAKS out so to relax her (since excess is excreted in pee!) not to totally freak and I'll just do some finger pricking at home for the next few days to make sure my sugar is normal -- she seemed totally fine with that.

So that night I didn't prick my finger but only cause it was DH's birthday and we stopped at Carrabba's and had a really high carb meal (lots of bread, cannelloni, pasta and so on) and of course a supreme chocolate ganache cake when we got home.

This morning, I had my usual cup of coffee and ate a bowl of rice check w/some sugar. About an hour later I pricked my finger and of course I get a big fat 158 -- so I wait to the second hour and my sugar is back to 79 - and now I checked again after dinner 80 so I know my sugar is fine but she is still totally freaking out LOL

So to make her feel better I am doing a random glucose screening at the lab tomorrow. I am just aggravated because she is a midwife and should know that blood sugar levels at one hour can vary and spike in everyone and that as long as your sugar goes down to a normal range and stays there you are not considered to have GD, especially NOT with levels of 79 and 80!.

I remember the doc telling me "if we test everyone after Halloween or Easter, we'd have to diagnose the entire population with diabetes") -- I had a severe excess of carbs and sugars, it's got to come out somewhere!

I think I'm just going to keep testing at home too and do a chart of the next two weeks and give it to her and see if that makes her freak less. UGH I am just aggravated over it because if she decides to misdiagnose me I will have to find another midwife and I don't feel like doing that! I like this one lol

Obviously I think it's important to keep checking sugar levels, I only have a machine because I am a freak and like to know where I am at on occasion so that if I do happen to ever develop diabetes I will know asap to address it and not get any permanent health problems from walking around with high sugar.

Also, baby is measuring normal too, so it's not like I have any other markers and she moves all fraken day.

I hate that I am so frustrated by this!

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I have never had high blood pressure or high blood sugar. I do have diabetes in my extended family. Anyway, I have a blood glucose monitor and a wrist BP monitor, just because I'm weird like that.

That was an insane amount of carbs and sugar that you had! If you told the MW that list of insanity, I don't understand how she didn't immediately blow off the sugar thing as a freak incident due to all the crap you ingested. I hope that keeping a chart of you levels helps the MW relax. I think you are fine too and I wouldn't worry about it too much, but I can see how that could be frustrating.

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I hear ya Anna - I never had GD with my other two, and during pregnancy my BP is usually good (actually better) than normally lol

I did eat a lot of crap! We'll see what the blood draw comes up with tomorrow, still going to do the finger pricking at home for her though since it never hurts to have records.

I am weird too, I have a BP machine as well Wink even though I don't usually have high BP I feel better knowing I can do random checking. My dad was a diet controlled diabetic, but he didn't get that way till well in his 60's - still, I know that makes me more likely to develop it in the future which is probably why I like to check on occasion. I am also normally a total freak about food and don't eat badly at all, actually most of what I consume is organic and I normally don't eat a lot of grains at all, especially not wheat which I have been doing on purpose cause I didn't feel I was gaining enough weight this pregnancy. I am going to stop looking at my weight gain or lack thereof and just eat my normal diet from now on.

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I agree your MW should understand with what you had to eat/drink your sugar should be crazy.

When I was pg with my DD I craved Cotton Candy to the point I went out and purchased a cotton candy maker and the special machine so I could have it anytime I wanted it Smile Well I had an appt scheduled one morning and for breakfast I what else cotton candy, to make a long story short the dr decided to do a 1 hour gd test that morning because I told her I hadn't had a meal I had totally forgotten about the cotton candy.. That evening I get a call to get to the hospital and do it now! LoL then my now ex husband reminded me about the CC and I told her and it was a huge laugh. Of course she knew why my sugar was so high and she left it at that.

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Just playing devil's advocate, but is she regulated by the state or by her license when it comes to things like that? She may have an obligation to document and report to a higher authority, kwim? Like nurse MWs here have to have OB back-up, so they have to report to that OB, or CPMs have to abide by state regulations (as far as taking low risk moms, etc) or they can lose their license. She might be bound ethically to act upon any issues that come up.

I was just thinking from a legal standpoint... she may totally believe you on a personal level, but not be willing to chance it on a professional level.

Side note, I had a totally insane sweet tooth with DS. I NEVER eat sweets, sodas, etc. I'm always a salty snack type person, but with him it was insatiable. I could not control it. I've never had GD with any of my pregnancies and it was so weird!! I also gained a lot more weight with him than with my girls. Thankfully when I got pregnant with this bean the sweet tooth totally disappeared!!

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"AleyFamily08" wrote:

When I was pg with my DD I craved Cotton Candy to the point I went out and purchased a cotton candy maker and the special machine so I could have it anytime I wanted it Smile

OMG I want cotton candy now! LOL!

But wow, Michelle that sucks that she freaked out so much. I would be irritated too but I guess she would just rather be safe than sorry. And you're right, it's better to have documented stuff to show her that your blood sugar is still low. Hopefully after you show her, she'll calm down some.

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Gah, stupid double post!

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It sucks, but what's a few pokes to ease her mind?

I'd be in a carb coma if I consumed that much at once lol!

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LOL @ the Cotton Candy story!!! HAHAHA If they were sending you to the hospital that must have been one heck of a number!

Shylah, you are right though, I really don't mind the poking at home and I offered to do the one at the lab to see if she will calm down.

As far as licensing and laws are concerned, she only answers to the state laws and has her own private practice. She's an LM and she personally won't do a home birth with any GD mama's even if they can control it w/diet because of fear of being sued. I totally understand that too! It's hard to trust patients to actually follow diets and do adequate testing, but I was hoping that by now she would realize I'm very honest about everything I do. I want to get proper care and if you lie, you CAN'T get that.

Of course, if I found that I actually had GD I would want the extra monitoring (better safe than sorry) and if I couldn't control them, I'd be the 1st one to show up at the hospital to have my baby so she can have proper care, but I also don't want to be misdiagnosed over one number one time and it just freaked me out that she freaked out so bad. I have had perfect appointments so far, everything can't always be in the "by the book" perfect numbers and honestly I don't even think an OB would have freaked at that.

A few months ago she started working on the side in the neo-natal unit with preemie babies at one of the local hospitals for extra money. I think that job is making her stressed and paranoid! It doesn't take long to become totally paranoid when you are surrounded by people that are having horrible things happen to them. The statistics stop mattering when all you see is pain and suffering. That 1% chance starts looking pretty bad when 15 people are going through it in front of you. Yes, she is also a registered neo-natal/pediatric nurse which is another reason I really really WANT HER because I am extra comfortable with her checking out the baby after birth.

The pediatrician I want for the baby is in Jacksonville which is a little over an hour drive from me. (I hate my town, we only have one Pediatrician and we don't get along at all) I don't want to take the baby in the car that far till she's at least 2 weeks old (give her a chance to get her Vit-K levels to normal and she gets at least some immunity from the BF'ing before going to a bacteria laden doctors office). So after the birth she stays for several hours (around 6) goes home, and comes back in 24 hours again, then again a few days later and so on.

Well, I am going to head to the lab now. I will stop babbling, I am just nervous, going to the lab gives me major anxiety.

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Let us know how things go at the lab. I think you'll be fine though and it sounds like you are on top of the situation. It was a freak event due to the crazy sugar consumption. I hope you can set her mind at ease after the lab results come back.

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So I am back from the lab -- and I am EVEN MORE LIVID NOW!

When she gave me the labwork to go for my stuff and do the "random glucose" I specifically asked her TWICE if I had to fast for this test.

She specifically said NO!

I get to the Lab and the nurses stated in UNISON - "If you did NOT fast for this test you will NOT pass it." According to them no one ever has passed (without fasting) because it's a very concentrated glucose plasma test -- in order to pass the test I have to have a whole blood sugar count of 70 or less on my HOME MONITOR and I had a 90 on my home monitor. (Home monitors test whole blood sugar which apparently is a lot less than the glucose in your plasma). This is NOT the regular GD test either.

So I called her to see what she wants me to do and she wants me to take it anyways. So I asked her what she would do if my sugar level showed high because I ate on a test that is supposed to be measuring fasting levels - since I am being told that that is exactly what will happen if they do the test now. She was being a TOTAL BIATCH! If I don't pass the test, she will transfer care -- yet she wanted me to take a test after eating? So I am so confused, is she trying to get me to transfer out now cause I already paid her?

My mom was right. I should NOT have paid her already and you know what, her attitude did change after I finished paying her -- actually this was my 1st appointment after giving her the money.

The nurses then advised that I just ignore her and come in Monday after fasting for 12 hours and drink only water before. That way, even if I choose to go to another midwife there won't be any crazy numbers on my records.

I don't know what to do. There is another midwife that might be able to take me, but they are FRIENDS on facebook so I don't know if that might pose an issue. I am going in on Monday at 6am to do the stupid test anyways so that if I do end up having to switch midwives (if her attitude is no better after my next appointment I will be switching), everything will be done already and I won't have to deal with any more crap.

I am just angry. I really loved her and I was really shocked at the way she was acting on the phone when I called her, I thought it was SO STRANGE that she wanted me to do it anyways even if I was destined to fail it! And then she just kept saying "fine, I will call you after I get the results" and she said that like five times. I also told her I will also come in with two weeks worth of home monitoring results as well and she said "What for, that doesn't tell me anything!" This is not how a midwife is supposed to act. Even though my old midwife was neurotic I really am starting to miss her. I never had an issue with her and self monitoring was actually appreciated even though she thought it was not necessary!

Now my anxiety is in full force, especially since my DH is with me for all of this and he is pissed that she is acting so badly and feels that she's being excessively rude and he was ready to go off on her because he also feels that as soon as she was paid her entire "standard of care" changed drastically. Okay end of rant cause I can go on forever right now. Any ideas? Do you think it may be a good idea for me to switch to another midwife?

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I'm so sorry about this whole situation. I can't imagine my HBMW ever acting like that, ever. To me that would be a big read flag but I guess even MWs have their off days. Still though I would be seeing how things go with her over the next week or so and prepare other options JIC. I can't believe she flipped so bad over the Trace amount of sugars on your pee stick. My HBMW always believed that any trace protine or sugars that showed up on the pee sticks could be from recent food intake and never worried about anything unless it went past the Trace amounts. You could totally see the change from Trace amounts back down to normal over the course of a day or two. And you ate so much crap before doing your pee stick! I don't know why she wouldn't take that into account. And the fact that you ate so much crap and it was still only showing as a Trace amount of sugars, and not like glowing neon, seems pretty good IMO.

I'm glad your waiting till monday to do it the way the lab wants you to. I'm upset for you over your crazy MW.

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Aww thank you for the fast reply. I really need an ear right now cause my poor DH is already exploding and I don't want to make him even more frantic. I don't know what is wrong w/her!!! She is not stupid or incompetent, I know that because she knows her crap! I am trying to give her the benefit of a doubt and hoping she's just having a crappy week. She seems like such a good person and until now every appointment and conversation has been smooth as pie. No, it wasn't glowing neon lol There was a trace amount and it showed up well after the stupid 60 seconds were up to read the dipstick. We could have retested too, it may have just been a fluke strip which happens too!

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Would it help if you talked to her about possibly switching because you feel her attitude is negative and you don't want that while you're pregnant? Or would that make it worse?

She does sound like as soon as she was paid she could show her true colors. Unless for some reason, she just had a bad week. I think it's ridiculous that she wanted you to take the test even though she knew you would fail.

I would go ahead and start looking at other midwives. If you do switch, do you lose all that money you paid her? And is there anyway to get it back, even if it's not all of it?

I hope it was a fluke and she goes back to how she was since you like her so much. (hugs) for having such a crappy day!

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I think talking to her about it might make it worse. I mean, I am normally really good at talking about conflicting things with people but with the pregnancy my psychological prowess is not that great LOL!

If I switch I will lose the money I paid her -- here is another iffy thing, I qualified for medicaid here and she says it only covers a small portion of her fee's - Well, I was just on the other midwives webpage (and their cash fee's are the same) BUT she says medicaid will cover her fee's completely. Now I am really wondering if I am being taken for a ride!

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Maybe the way they can accept billing is different but to me if one could take the medicaid then the other should. I know our HBMW would accept insurance and bill to them and she was a CPM but I'm not sure about other stuff. Yeah, the not getting your money back is a big thing too. Ugh. So frustrating.

Yep, go in on Monday, pass that test with flying colors and wait to see her reaction at the results. I'd also ask the lab if you can have a copy of the results sent to you personally as well just so you know the actual restults. Not that I think anyone would try to mess with the readings just to screw someone over, but nothing ever shocks me anymore and I don't always have the best trust in every situation. Especially if I was starting to get a bad vibe.

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That is a great idea, I didn't know the lab could send me the results too! I will ask, thank you!

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I don't blame you at all for feeling like you do. I would be highly suspicious too. It sounds like she was setting you up to fail and since she already has the money she'd just as soon be done with you it seems. Something smells rotten in denmark for sure! I agree with Joy on a plan of action.

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#1- YUCK I wouldn't want to be in her care after that, no matter what.

#2- Can she really not refund partial money, if the transfer of care is for reasons beyond your control? The majority of MW costs is for the labor/delivery services itself, and if it is for medical reasons (other than just an unhappy customer), I'd be waving at her out my back window, while driving to the next MW. I mean... hoping this is just a bad day for her or something, but you need to feel comfortable and safe with your child, and with that drama llama, I would be questioning it, even if your blood counts come back perfect next time around.

Beee none of that is fun to deal with, especially when you're talking about 100% of your health and baby safety in her hands, if you're not going to be in a hospital.

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I would go take the test Monday morning and then follow up with her.

Personally I don't think I would be able to trust her after everything you have said. On top of that I don't know what the law is there but here medicaid pays 100% of fee's and a dr isn't allowed to charge you more then what they allow. I would question that with a social worker and then after you have the baby I would take it up with her further. That is me, but something just doesn't seem right and actually smells kinda fishy!

Good Luck!

BTW Don't eat to many carbs the night before because they can actually carry over until the morning and don't give any reason to fail the test Smile

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Thank you all so much for your responses. Again, with the pregnancy I try to make sure I am not being a hormonal over-reacting freak. Which is quite easy to do! This is just such a stupid problem. I have been blessed that so far everything has been great but now I am starting to feel like she's just looking for crap that isn't there.

With my last midwife medicaid did cover 100% of labs and testing, but it did not cover my birthing supplies so I did pay some money out of pocket which was fine. I did not however pay $3200 out of pocket + my birthing supplies. She said they only pay her $1800 for her services so I have to cover the remaining balance.

I think I am going to call some more ladies around town and see what I can find out and how comfy they will be taking me at 30+ weeks. I am still going to continue my care w/her at least until the next appointment and just feel her out, maybe ask her what the problem is. If I find out the other midwives are not charging me out of pocket too I will definitely be asking medicaid about this problem. I will not get a refund, I paid her in cash. She could always deny it and I didn't draw up a contract because at this point she had been so great I really didn't think it was necessary -- and obviously that is my own fault. I could care less about the money at this point, I just want proper care for me and my baby and at this point I am starting to wonder if she is going to flake out on me during the homebirth.

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"PsycheGal" wrote:

I think talking to her about it might make it worse. I mean, I am normally really good at talking about conflicting things with people but with the pregnancy my psychological prowess is not that great LOL!

If I switch I will lose the money I paid her -- here is another iffy thing, I qualified for medicaid here and she says it only covers a small portion of her fee's - Well, I was just on the other midwives webpage (and their cash fee's are the same) BUT she says medicaid will cover her fee's completely. Now I am really wondering if I am being taken for a ride!

Honestly, it sounds like it to me. I would question her about it. You have a right to see exactly how she bills medicaid for her services item-by-item. If she's overcharging you, it's possible she's also committing medicaid fraud.

Did you sign a contract with her? If so, what does it say about her terminating services and whether you will receive any portion of the money back. She has to follow ethical standards to be licensed. It might not be a bad idea to look up the standards she has to follow so you have the information if you need it. If she continues to offer poor service and sabotage your care, you can file a complaint with her licensing board and ask for their support in assisting you to get your money back.

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omg that sucks i'd be PISSED!!!! If she says anything about you waiting tell her the lab wouldn't do since you didn't fast. I don't think I could stay with her after that, I know you said you paid cash and it wasn't about the money but I'd definitely be asking for partial refund if you switch
When do you next see her?

If she's not cooperative then after baby is born I'd also be finding all places where midwives are reviewed and making the story known. People like that who seem just in for the money need to wake up ugh sorry again
:bighug:

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Oh myyy what an uncomfortable spot to be in! I am so glad you didn't take the test anyways, and I am glad you are waiting to do it the way it is designed. I don't like that she said to just go ahead and do it, and I don't think that was in your best interest.

I have learned through experience that some MWs can be just as hard to talk to as OBs, and that is not a part of the midwifery model of care. I am also curious to know what the contract says.

GL with whatever decision you make. I hope whatever you decide that you feel supported and like you can voice your concerns. KUP!

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Wow, I just read this and I am appalled at her behavior. How ridiculous and rude of her to treat you in that manner! I agree about seeing exactly how she charges things and why Medicaid isn't covering that much of the services that you have paid her out of pocket for. I would definitely want to figure out if she was not being honest about how she bills you. I can see why you are having trust issues with her & if I were you, I would likely consider switching to another midwife if that is possible at this point. Keep us updated on how everything went!