The baby check?

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AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033
The baby check?

Anyone else having random people calling and texting to check on you? AKA the 'baby check'. It's funny because it's not like we are going to keep it a secret when the baby comes or anything. I've had a couple of people from church call, some of DH's friends have called (ones that don't routinely call), my friends, the IL's call daily to check. The only people who aren't calling/texting are my family. They have enough faith in me to know that they will be notified if the baby comes!

I guess in our case (at least with family) it's kind of our fault. When DD was born we waited a full day before calling anyone. We just wanted to spend a day getting to know ourselves as a family and after the c/s and how invasive his family can be, we really just wanted a moment before the circus happened. I don't regret it in the least. I would actually very much prefer that nobody visited while we were still in the hospital at all. I don't understand why they can't wait until we are home and comfortable before invading us. That's my little vent.

Anyway, it's funny that I'm have absolutely NO symptoms of approaching labor at all and everyone else is all anxious and calling/texting constantly.

Anyone else?

GarlicBreath's picture
Joined: 09/12/06
Posts: 488

Yep, yep, yep! What's bugging me is that everytime I call someone, they get excited and think I'm in labor! I can't just call someone to say hello, or to ask them a question, or to make plans.

So I've started beginning all phone conversations with "No baby yet!"

fittoac's picture
Joined: 05/05/08
Posts: 383

Haha, yes! Even my own mother, whom I speak with almost every single day, has started up with that! I called her yesterday afternoon and she said, "Oh I've been debating all day whether to call and check on things but I thought that maybe you would've called me in the morning if anything happened over night..." I'm like.... MOM! Of COURSE I would call you at the first signs of labor (she knows this!!) but she can't seem to help herself! Haha. Smile Never mind the fact that I'm only 37.4 weeks and my daughter came 4 days late anyway! I guess I'm just glad she's excited. Wink

KET_2010's picture
Joined: 08/13/11
Posts: 1737

Before I had Des I had people asking if I was still pregnant or if I was going to stay pregnant forever lol.

When DH and I had DD2, that morning/early afternoon we went to L&D for me to get checked out because I was leaking fluid. His brother happened to call while we were waiting to find out what was going to happen and for the results and he asked if DH could go to his house. When DH said he couldn't, his brother asked why and DH said we were at L&D and his brother got all freaked and said DH NEEDED to call and/or text his whole family to let them know. DH kept saying he didn't want to because he wanted to wait until after we had her so he could focus on me during labor instead of his phone going off. Of course his brother then threatened that he would tell everyone then and it would start a bunch of drama of "Why did we have to hear it from the brother" thing so DH broke down and texted everyone. After that his mom would not stop calling and texting. Every minute or two his phone would go off with "How are things?" "Are you nervous?" "Are you scared?" "Are you excited?" etc etc. Then of course when we had her all he did was text that she was here and when he didn't include weight, length, time, etc his mom freaked out about "not knowing what was going on". Then his brother's gf came up to the hospital and kept trying to get DH to leave me in the room by myself while they gave DD2 a bath and checked her out and everything. It was very irritating and frustrating. So I understand your want to just bond with your new addition before everyone comes to see them.

With DD1 my ex's mom came up after she was born and wanted to hold her. Well after so long DD1 needed to go get checked out and for me to get rest and stuff and his mom gave the baby to the nurse like DD1 was hers and didn't even offer DD1 to me (yes we did get time holding DD1, but it was the fact that she was trying to give DD1 to the nurse without letting me say goodbye to her that upset me!) and then the nurse kind of looked at her, then looked at me, and said "Well, does Mom want to see baby before she goes?" and I said yes and his mom acted like she forgot I was there and had given birth to her. Gah!

Sorry for the rant, your in laws just sound a lot like mine and it's just so frustrating when they try to take the experience away from you (or that's how it feels for me!!!) This time though, since we don't talk to his family anymore, it was nice. I let my family know I was in labor and only my younger brother responded (at 3 AM their time ha ha) just to keep him updated when I could (he was real excited to finally get a nephew after 4 nieces lol).

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

"GarlicBreath" wrote:

Yep, yep, yep! What's bugging me is that everytime I call someone, they get excited and think I'm in labor! I can't just call someone to say hello, or to ask them a question, or to make plans.

So I've started beginning all phone conversations with "No baby yet!"

Exactly!!! I feel I can't call anyone because they immediately assume it's going to be baby related!

"KET_2010" wrote:

With DD1 my ex's mom came up after she was born and wanted to hold her. Well after so long DD1 needed to go get checked out and for me to get rest and stuff and his mom gave the baby to the nurse like DD1 was hers and didn't even offer DD1 to me (yes we did get time holding DD1, but it was the fact that she was trying to give DD1 to the nurse without letting me say goodbye to her that upset me!) and then the nurse kind of looked at her, then looked at me, and said "Well, does Mom want to see baby before she goes?" and I said yes and his mom acted like she forgot I was there and had given birth to her. Gah!

I totally understand, and that is exactly what I was worried about with DD. My MIL wouldn't necessarily do that, but she does claim ownership of any babies born in the family. SIL though would TOTALLY act like it was her baby. I promise you the first thing she will do when holding my son is unwrap him to see 'all of him'! SO annoying!! DH's family doesn't know we aren't circumcising, so I hope she doesn't think she's going to undress him too. She did that with her grandson when he was born. She took him and gave him his first bath in the hospital while the baby's mom was laid up in bed protesting that she was waiting for her DH so that they could give the baby his first bath together. My SIL is a total psycho!

KET_2010's picture
Joined: 08/13/11
Posts: 1737

"AnnaRO" wrote:

I totally understand, and that is exactly what I was worried about with DD. My MIL wouldn't necessarily do that, but she does claim ownership of any babies born in the family. SIL though would TOTALLY act like it was her baby. I promise you the first thing she will do when holding my son is unwrap him to see 'all of him'! SO annoying!! DH's family doesn't know we aren't circumcising, so I hope she doesn't think she's going to undress him too. She did that with her grandson when he was born. She took him and gave him his first bath in the hospital while the baby's mom was laid up in bed protesting that she was waiting for her DH so that they could give the baby his first bath together. My SIL is a total psycho!

That's really...odd I guess? Lol I would be so mad if I found out my in laws did that with my baby. And I think my in laws actually did the undress thing too. My MIL would stick her finger in DD2's diaper to see if it needed to be changed. My ex's mom always told me how much she wanted to give DD1 a bath...I thought that was really weird. And always wanted to change her diaper and stuff. It made me uncomfortable. But then again, my ex's family were always saying DD1 was a "chunk" and had big ears that stuck out. I had to yell at them before they would stop saying that to her.

Are your in laws going to criticize you for choosing not to circumcise?

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

"KET_2010" wrote:

That's really...odd I guess? Lol I would be so mad if I found out my in laws did that with my baby. And I think my in laws actually did the undress thing too. My MIL would stick her finger in DD2's diaper to see if it needed to be changed. My ex's mom always told me how much she wanted to give DD1 a bath...I thought that was really weird. And always wanted to change her diaper and stuff. It made me uncomfortable.

That is my SIL! She totally does stuff like that!

"KET_2010" wrote:

Are your in laws going to criticize you for choosing not to circumcise?

I don't know, actually. I just know that DH is circ'd and so are all the males in his family. I doubt that MIL and FIL will say much, but I won't be shocked if they do. SIL is another story. She's liable to criticize and if she disagrees with it, it'll be entirely my fault, despite the fact that DH and I make all our parenting decision jointly.

I'm kind of excited though. SIL texted me today and asked how I'm feeling. I texted back 'Great. Why?'. She said that she knows I'm due soon and was thinking about me. I texted back that I'm not due for another week and it'll likely be after that before anything happens. THEN I sent her a text asking how she's doing with everything that's happened. She NEVER texted me back on that one! So, apparently she has the right to be nosy, but ignores me if I ask questions. To me, that now gives me some serious ammo to tell her to butt out!!

The back story on "everything that's happened": SIL got married for the 4th time this this past October. Well SIL and this guy spent all their time getting drunk together and fighting. Turns out that he might even be more off balance than she is. There was one massive fight they had where he punched a hole through a door. Anyway it's over. But I guess she doesn't want to talk about it with me. Lol

KET_2010's picture
Joined: 08/13/11
Posts: 1737

Lol. I love how they have to know your business but you're not allowed to know anything about their personal lives! Sounds a lot like DH's family. Although with them they enjoy finding stuff out and then twisting it so it sounds bad or worse and spreading it around to everyone who will listen.

Gotta love the in laws LOL!

Hopefully they won't give you any crap about not circumcising. It's not their business and IMO they don't need to be asking about your son's penis anyway! Biggrin

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

Yes, getting the baby check too. Have 4 people text me today to make sure our Mommy Blessing was still on for tomorrow. Like I'd forget to tell them all that we had the baby.

mommyof1.5's picture
Joined: 08/06/07
Posts: 897

I guess I never had that "opportunity" as much, since birth was scheduled, but I'm definitely having the after-birth check up calls/texts. I'm not as fast to get back to people as they would like, apparently. I haven't posted the details of birth either, just because it takes me a long time to adjust, and it is overwhelming to type a big long story. lol I was joking that I magically have all these "new" relatives, once people know a new baby is coming into the world. It's like they disappeared til baby is near. :eyeroll: