Sorry to rant. God bless you if you decide to read this and make it through to the end.
I got up with Cammi this morning at 3:30, the only time that I got up with her, and got her back to bed at 4. She wasn't completely asleep, but not fussy, and I desperately needed to go pump because I was engorged and leaking all over the place. Chris was awake when I brought Cammi back in to the bedroom and I told him I was going to go pump. I pumped for 30 minutes and then decided to fix us breakfast. I went in the bedroom and told Chris that if he wanted to get up now that I would fix him some breakfast. 4:30 is when he usually gets up anyway so if he got up then, he would have plenty of time to eat. He tells me that he's been up since 4 anyway and that he guesses 5 hours of sleep is good enough (he said it in a poor poor me way). (Also I don't know where he got 5 hours of sleep from as we went to bed at 9:30 and Cammi didn't wake up any other time.) So I went and made breakfast and he came out a few minutes later. I told him that I was sorry that he didn't get enough sleep and he just started complaining about how since 4 all Cammi did was whine and whimper. (Shes a baby, what do you expect? You're lucky that's the only time she did it all night!) I said that I was sorry and that she is a baby. He said he knew and then said that now he sounded like a **** for saying it. (Well yeah, you did, but I'm holding my composure and not saying that). So that's where he ended the conversation. No apology, nothing. I'm not even really looking for an apology for him being an *** about not getting enough sleep. I just want him to understand that if he doesn't feel like he gets enough sleep, then I probably don't either. And yeah, I don't go to work all day, but I still have a job and I don't just sit around and relax all day. (We have had this argument before, although a bit playful in arguing, still annoying that he doesn't acknowledge this as much a job as his.) One part of me feels bad that he didnt get enough sleep but the other part of me just wants to cry to him that being a parent means sometimes youre going to have to take care of your baby on their time, which might not be convenient to you, and that you're also going to have to be a grown up about things and not complain when your wife, who always gets up with the baby, needs 30 freaking minutes to go pump! *
I'm just feeling a little depressed after this and I probably just need to have a good cry. Thanks for listening.