Early morning rant

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JBird3010's picture
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Early morning rant

Sorry to rant. God bless you if you decide to read this and make it through to the end.

I got up with Cammi this morning at 3:30, the only time that I got up with her, and got her back to bed at 4. She wasn't completely asleep, but not fussy, and I desperately needed to go pump because I was engorged and leaking all over the place. Chris was awake when I brought Cammi back in to the bedroom and I told him I was going to go pump. I pumped for 30 minutes and then decided to fix us breakfast. I went in the bedroom and told Chris that if he wanted to get up now that I would fix him some breakfast. 4:30 is when he usually gets up anyway so if he got up then, he would have plenty of time to eat. He tells me that he's been up since 4 anyway and that he guesses 5 hours of sleep is good enough (he said it in a poor poor me way). (Also I don't know where he got 5 hours of sleep from as we went to bed at 9:30 and Cammi didn't wake up any other time.) So I went and made breakfast and he came out a few minutes later. I told him that I was sorry that he didn't get enough sleep and he just started complaining about how since 4 all Cammi did was whine and whimper. (Shes a baby, what do you expect? You're lucky that's the only time she did it all night!) I said that I was sorry and that she is a baby. He said he knew and then said that now he sounded like a **** for saying it. (Well yeah, you did, but I'm holding my composure and not saying that). So that's where he ended the conversation. No apology, nothing. I'm not even really looking for an apology for him being an *** about not getting enough sleep. I just want him to understand that if he doesn't feel like he gets enough sleep, then I probably don't either. And yeah, I don't go to work all day, but I still have a job and I don't just sit around and relax all day. (We have had this argument before, although a bit playful in arguing, still annoying that he doesn't acknowledge this as much a job as his.) One part of me feels bad that he didnt get enough sleep but the other part of me just wants to cry to him that being a parent means sometimes youre going to have to take care of your baby on their time, which might not be convenient to you, and that you're also going to have to be a grown up about things and not complain when your wife, who always gets up with the baby, needs 30 freaking minutes to go pump! *

I'm just feeling a little depressed after this and I probably just need to have a good cry. Thanks for listening.

KET_2010's picture
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(hugs) Men just don't always understand.

Yay for Camille sleeping so long though! Des is doing that too, it's so nice!

anyway, DH and I have playfully done the same thing "Oh, I go to work, you get to stay home with the kids and can nap when they nap" where he's teasing me, but I think part of it is him actually voicing how he feels since he sometimes gets little sleep and is worn out at work. Sure I nap on occasion when I'm dead tired, but lately DD2 hasn't been napping, ugh! With us, we got into a heated conversation (not really an argument, but a little more than a discussion) about how when Des gets up at 4, even though I did the other feeding that I have to get up at this time and do another one since DH has to get up an hour later. I saw it as, well he's just getting up a little earlier than needed, no big deal. He saw it as he could get an extra hour of sleep so he's not as tired at work. Ha ha, we never really came to a conclusion on that one, but Des has gotten on a better schedule since then!
Do you have a swing? Since your DH was annoyed(?) that she was wimpering and stuff, he could put her in there to see if that helps calm her.

You may need to sit down with him and discuss all of this, to let him know how you feel. Keeping it bottled up isn't good and may come back and make you explode on him. This actually happened to me a few weeks ago because DH was playing a video game and Des suddenly got hungry. I was in the middle of making lunch for my other two and I was so tired and I was at my whits end and just threw stuff down, grabbed Desmond up, and gave him the rest of the bottle that was sitting next to DH. DH got upset and asked what my problem was, that he was about to feed him, he was just waiting until he died in his game to do it. I then got mad and asked why he had to wait to die in a game instead of attend to our son. Blah blah blah, yelling and screaming, crying (me), and eventually I calmed down and agreed I needed to talk to him more instead of not saying anything. Ha ha. But part of it is I can't stand to hear him cry, esp if I know what he needs, ya know?

And if you need a good cry, do it. It feels good and can make you feel better! Try not to stress too much about it right now. Think about sitting down with him and talk about everything and maybe he will see your side of things. Of course don't make it seem like you're attacking him or judging his parenting skills (lol I do that on accident and DH gets MAD...lol not funny at the time, but kinda funny now). He could just be still adjusting to becoming a dad. And if he still wants to be a butthead, you can always tell him that next time you won't make him breakfast! Lol.

(hugs) feel better, and rant away whenever you need it!

Oh and if any of this seems like rambling or doesn't make sense, I'm very tired this morning lol.

JBird3010's picture
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Thanks Katie. You're right, men just don't understand sometimes. At least your DH gets up one time during the night; I never ask DH to get up and help, therefore he doesn't. I mean, I can handle very thing myself, but just him saying that he wouldn't mind helping at night would be enough. Lol. Anyway, I took a nice long nap (since I've been up since 3:30) and I feel much better now. I'm sure we will end up discussing it in some way, it's just never fun to be grown ups and have grown up talks! Lol

mommyof1.5's picture
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I can't tell you how many times my first husband and I would get into yelling matches all night long. We used WAY too many obscenities that first 6 weeks. He felt entitled to rest, since he was working (aside from all of our other marriage issues), but I apparently had so much time to rest during the day... not. He was a tow truck driver, and was spending LOTS of time in the middle of the night at a local strip club, pretending he was on a towing call longer than he really was. ANYWAY, fast forward to today - it is SO DIFFERENT this time around. I'm a full-time student, we have 1 to get to half-day kindergarten and back every day, dealing with parental visitation for the older 2, living away from family (for school), etc. My husband is amazing at helping with the baby. He gets up to change his diaper almost every time at night, and hands him off to me to nurse. He stays home with all 3 kiddos while I'm in morning classes, including getting my oldest ready for school. He offers to take care of the kids so I can get to my weekly weight-loss support group, and to my Zumba class up to 3 nights a week. I couldn't do everything I'm doing now, without him. Even without the baby, I get overwhelmed easily with everything going on.

My moral of the story - crying and just talking about it can be very healing!