Family Size...

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jhj
Joined: 08/06/11
Posts: 360
Family Size...

Now that everyone's babies are here, still thinking of more? or are you done??

Before Heidi was born, we were thinking a biological third would be in the works ... but... now I'm not so sure... She is seriously the best baby ever, but still I'm tired and realizing how far we had come from baby life. Our daughter is 5 and our boys are 3 and 3.5, so they are still young, but it is just different... For example, I didn't go with everyone to the fireworks for Canada Day because they are late and loud and didn't want to upset Heidi... also, when we are out biking on our street, I can't run after my little guy learning to ride without training wheels, because I have a baby in a carrier... so now I am feeling very unsure about another one...

Heather

KET_2010's picture
Joined: 08/13/11
Posts: 1737

My DH says we're done. But I don't feel done. Does that make sense?

I would love a 4th but I also am loving my kids time now.

daria's picture
Joined: 07/22/03
Posts: 496

We are 100% done. Our house is small and kids are too expensive. Of course everyone keeps asking me now if we are going to "try for a girl". Uh, nope! Waiting almost 4.5 years between kids I felt like we were at such a good place with Alex, and now starting over at the baby stage (while I love my baby) is not something I want to do a 3rd time.

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

I go back and forth. Sometimes I really feel like there's a third child in our future and other times I do NOT want to go through another pregnancy and the baby stage. We are working on moving to another town and I am trying so hard to get the house cleaned up and decluttered for showing but it's so impossible to do with 2 small kids. Times like that I feel like I just want to get these 2 raised and get to the point where I can actually go out and do something that doesn't require me having to carry around two babies.

Dixiemom1st's picture
Joined: 09/07/07
Posts: 620

We are definately done. I love this baby stage but I am also excited to have the kids get older so we can do more older kids activities without waiting for the youngest to be older. 3 is good, I think 4 would be just a bit much. We also all fit into the pick up right now and do not want to have to go to a full size van to fit for camping etc.

Lolkje's picture
Joined: 08/24/09
Posts: 90

I am not a fan of the baby stage at all. The older they are, the better. But I can see going for one more. After #3, though, DONE!

KET_2010's picture
Joined: 08/13/11
Posts: 1737

I have a question. For those of you who know you're done, how did you know? I just don't feel like I'm done. I just can't see myself making a permanent decision either. DH is dead set on no more because he said that's his limit of sanity lol. But then again, not trying to bash DH, I think I enjoy the kids more than him. (He loves them and all, but I think it's hard for him to handle when they get in bad moods)

jhj
Joined: 08/06/11
Posts: 360

I feel like we are not going to have anymore kids, because we can't afford to have more. This is so frustrating because I think I would enjoy more kids, but it becomes so expensive when considering them as teens and then even more if there is college or university tuition. I hate when money makes decisions as personal as how many children we welcome to our family. On the other hand, as I was saying earlier... having more children just spreads our family thinner and prevents me and my husband from giving as much to each child...

I also wonder how other people make this decision...

Heather

KET_2010's picture
Joined: 08/13/11
Posts: 1737

I think that's a lot of my husband's reasoning is the money. He doesn't want to make his life the military and he's afraid that if we had more kids he wouldn't have that choice. But then again, who knows.

it actually makes me real sad to think we may be done.

ShylahEQ's picture
Joined: 12/08/07
Posts: 1003

I'm 95% sure we are done. I would love to have another, but frankly it's hard with the two. Money, time, etc. We had a bit of trouble having DD so the space between DS and her is almost 4 years. Hard to adjust to a baby schedule/ needs when you have a pretty self sufficient toddler running around that sleeps 13 hours at night. Blum 3

We're not stopping things, but we aren't trying either. We did make the decision to take further measures when we hit closer to 35.

daria's picture
Joined: 07/22/03
Posts: 496

"KET_2010" wrote:

I have a question. For those of you who know you're done, how did you know? I just don't feel like I'm done. I just can't see myself making a permanent decision either. DH is dead set on no more because he said that's his limit of sanity lol. But then again, not trying to bash DH, I think I enjoy the kids more than him. (He loves them and all, but I think it's hard for him to handle when they get in bad moods)

For us, we had agreed to 2 kids as soon as DS1 was born, but when Lucas came and the 4 of us were together for the first time it really felt like our family was complete and we made the right decision. Thank goodness, because we had bought a house based on having 2 kids!

mommyof1.5's picture
Joined: 08/06/07
Posts: 897

I've known I wanted more than one child, but no more than four. I am the oldest of four, so that somewhat feels natural. If my second child had been a boy (making one of each), I could have possibly made the decision to be done at that point. I picked out my boy name in high school, so I think I just knew I would get my boy some day. My husband has a 7 year old son from his first marriage, so for parts of summer, Christmas, and spring break, we have four kiddos in the house. WOW going from 2 mostly obedient and polite girls, then in one year, adding a boy with Aspergers and a newborn... it's a massive change. If that doesn't convince someone they're done, they REALLY want lots of kids! Blum 3

I had a tubal ligation during my c-section, and because it was a standard procedure, they were able to remove a large enough section to guarantee it's not going to accidentally grow back. I asked them to cut/burn/staple/glue/tape/ sew/whatever else was needed to make sure I wasn't fertile again. So I am done. If we magically won the lottery and had all our bills paid off and enough money to buy a large house, I might consider adopting 1 in the future... I'm loving my family just the way it is, and loving FINALLY having my little boy! Smile

Dixiemom1st's picture
Joined: 09/07/07
Posts: 620

3 just really felt like a good number. I always talked about 4 but after DD#1, I did not think I would make it to 4. Both DH and do not like the pregnancy thing, it is hard on our marriage and 3 kids enough but I think 4 would drive me nuts. DH would have stopped at 2 but I knew I wanted 1 more. Now our family feels complete.

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

I know that we will have one more but after #4 be done for sure. A lot has to do with putting them through college in the future, home size, and my sanity. We'd also like to try just one more time for a girl.

Joined: 01/16/07
Posts: 951

done Smile don't think I could handle another newborn (or rather dh with a newborn haha no patience)

Joined: 02/10/08
Posts: 485

Pretty sure we're done over here... I would have loved to have a larger family, but the reality is, when you have your first at 37, and second at 39... welll... you do the math! LOL Having babies once I'm over 40 doesn't really appeal somehow. And DH and I really want to buy a house, and prices are INSANE over here (like well over a million for a smallish semi-detached or townhouse - crazy!), so I would need to keep working, and having 3 kids, and working full time just doesn't appeal....

but there is still that small part of me sort of wishing for an 'oops'! Wink

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

I've heard people say that they knew they weren't 'done' because it felt like someone was missing from the picture. I don't know if I feel that way, but part of me wants to be done completely and just raise the 2 we have, but another part of me feels like there's more in the future. We aren't making any decisions right now one way or the other though.