I've known I wanted more than one child, but no more than four. I am the oldest of four, so that somewhat feels natural. If my second child had been a boy (making one of each), I could have possibly made the decision to be done at that point. I picked out my boy name in high school, so I think I just knew I would get my boy some day. My husband has a 7 year old son from his first marriage, so for parts of summer, Christmas, and spring break, we have four kiddos in the house. WOW going from 2 mostly obedient and polite girls, then in one year, adding a boy with Aspergers and a newborn... it's a massive change. If that doesn't convince someone they're done, they REALLY want lots of kids!
I had a tubal ligation during my c-section, and because it was a standard procedure, they were able to remove a large enough section to guarantee it's not going to accidentally grow back. I asked them to cut/burn/staple/glue/tape/ sew/whatever else was needed to make sure I wasn't fertile again. So I am done. If we magically won the lottery and had all our bills paid off and enough money to buy a large house, I might consider adopting 1 in the future... I'm loving my family just the way it is, and loving FINALLY having my little boy!
3 just really felt like a good number. I always talked about 4 but after DD#1, I did not think I would make it to 4. Both DH and do not like the pregnancy thing, it is hard on our marriage and 3 kids enough but I think 4 would drive me nuts. DH would have stopped at 2 but I knew I wanted 1 more. Now our family feels complete.
I know that we will have one more but after #4 be done for sure. A lot has to do with putting them through college in the future, home size, and my sanity. We'd also like to try just one more time for a girl.
~Joy~ DS1-8/5/05, DS2-10/18/10 (VBAC#1), DS3- 4/11/12 (VBAC#2!)
done don't think I could handle another newborn (or rather dh with a newborn haha no patience)
ds1 Evan ds2 Adam
Pretty sure we're done over here... I would have loved to have a larger family, but the reality is, when you have your first at 37, and second at 39... welll... you do the math! LOL Having babies once I'm over 40 doesn't really appeal somehow. And DH and I really want to buy a house, and prices are INSANE over here (like well over a million for a smallish semi-detached or townhouse - crazy!), so I would need to keep working, and having 3 kids, and working full time just doesn't appeal....
but there is still that small part of me sort of wishing for an 'oops'!
I've heard people say that they knew they weren't 'done' because it felt like someone was missing from the picture. I don't know if I feel that way, but part of me wants to be done completely and just raise the 2 we have, but another part of me feels like there's more in the future. We aren't making any decisions right now one way or the other though.