Keeping secrets is HARD!

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daria's picture
Joined: 07/22/03
Posts: 496
Keeping secrets is HARD!

So far 4 close friends (and 2 of their husbands) and my boss are the only ones other than DH and I who know I'm pregnant.

I have my first appointment tomorrow, which I think is just a pregnancy confirmation. We aren't planning to tell family for another few weeks, and the general public well after that.

With Alex we told everyone almost immediately.

Is anyone else struggling to keep the secret?

Erin Elizabeth's picture
Joined: 10/18/08
Posts: 472

Unfortunately, a few of our family members won't be as excited as others. (2 of my sisters don't get along with DF and they disaprove of us not being married yet....that's the short story) So it's easy to keep it a secret.

JBird3010's picture
Joined: 01/21/11
Posts: 404

Yes! It's very difficult!! We're not planning to tell both of our parents until the 2nd appointment on Sept 13. Until then, I can only talk to my husband about everything. Lol

My husband isnt being a big help about not telling one either, I was just on the phone with him and I was complaining about not feeling good and he said, doesnt it suck you cant talk to anyone else about this? Thanks a lot!

KET_2010's picture
Joined: 08/13/11
Posts: 1737

It does and doesn't.

It does because I would like to tell people about the happy news and I've hard to bite my tongue a few times when talking to my mom (esp when she said she could use some good news after hearing all the gory details of my sisters divorce). But at the same time, I'm scared of telling my family. More so my parents.

Granted my dad will be easier than my mom. My siblings will think it's cool and probably make jokes about how we should've "wrapped it up" ha ha.

See, the reason I say this is when I had my first daughter I was 18 (pregnant at 17) and all my mom could say was abortion. My dad too. Then after she was born my mom tried to pretty much be mom to her and even got to the point where she wouldn't allow my now ex to hold his own daughter! She thought she was best for her. Then when I got pregnant a 2nd time (again unmarried, ha ha) she got mad and said my now husband would never love my other daughter and wouldn't want her. (He loves her the exact same as our other daughter, and considers her his own since her biological dad wants nothing to do with her or me).

Now when my sister got pregnant with her first I got blamed. HAHA! She said my sister should've "learned from my mistake". She wasn't married at that time either. When she was pregnant with her 2nd one my mom danced around saying how happy she was. Now though we found out their 2nd one was more so trying to save a marriage (when really that's what tore them apart even more).

I fear my mom saying I'm trying to save my marriage, when really we planned this one and our marriage is anywhere but in trouble.

I would like to tell friends, but I don't want them posting on FB about it ha. He has told his friends (he doesn't have a FB) and they think it's cool (then again they're guys so they're not as excited ha ha). It's nerve wrecking! We tell them next weekend (I'll be 10 weeks then, and have ultrasound pictures). I'll probably have my oldest tell them ha ha!

Ha, sorry I wrote so much, I just had to get it off my chest since my husband doesn't come home until tomorrow! Plus I was thinking about this as I cooked dinner!

youngmom08's picture
Joined: 06/23/11
Posts: 509

I had to tell my mom already. I wanted to do something cute after I get my ultrasound on Monday, but ended up having to tell her earlier. She had invited me to a girls night gathering & they were drinking wine and wine coolers which I obviously declined. She was excited though & said she had been having dreams that someone close to her was pregnant-which it ended up being me lol. Haven't told my grandparents though, in particular my grandma because she is big on having to be married first. I'm engaged, but we're not married yet. My grandfather would be happy to hear it though as he loves hearing good news in light of his recent diagnosis. I definitely want to tell a lot of people because I'm excited about things, especially considering that I have suffered two losses. I think I'm going to use the show and tell method with everyone else though. Sorry for the long story lol.

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

We've told family. I couldn't keep it a secret from them anymore. We'll probably go ahead and tell everyone after my first appt. next Wed.

MrsRiggert's picture
Joined: 11/21/07
Posts: 2195

I've told a few people, my para and the principal at school and my BFF knows. OH and Lexi and Zayne's daycare provider knows. That's it. We're waiting until after the U/S to tell everyone. A friend of mine is making shirts for my kids that say "big brother" and "big sister" but since everyone lives so far away I will probably be taking a picture and texting it to family.

ShylahEQ's picture
Joined: 12/08/07
Posts: 1003

I've told 3 people so far, besides DH. Internet girlfriends that know to keep it hush. Oh and of course here at!

We're holding out until 12 weeks. So far it hasn't been as hard as I thought. Of course my mom doesn't live around us, so that's easy. Sometimes it is hard to come with excuses as to why I'm tired or nauseous.

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

We haven't told anyone yet. Just DH & I know. I will wait till at least 12 weeks. Man its hard to bite my tongue sometimes though.

Dixiemom1st's picture
Joined: 09/07/07
Posts: 620

We told our family but no one else yet. It is hard because I am showing a bit, so I have to be careful what I wear. But we do not want to tell anyone else till we hear the heartbeat. I hope to hear it at my 10 wk appointment but it is still a bit early, hopefully though.

PsycheGal's picture
Joined: 12/07/08
Posts: 768

It's been really hard for me to hide it from my mom. She lives with us and is constantly around -- and I'm actually surprised she hasn't asked why I haven't gotten my period yet (I have long cycles so I can probably still get away with that for another week or so) I almost told her today because she went to the store with me (my brother's store, he's a jeweler and I have been covering for him for almost two months now cause he's fixing a house) but anyways, she went with me today and decided she is going to clean. I know my bro, he is a chemical freak - he will use anything to kill the germs. I asked her to please make sure there was nothing crazy in the bottle before spraying but she didn't listen and sprayed away - I was coughing my brains out and the smell was unbearable! It was Windex with Amonia and it has always given me a horrible respiratory reaction. I wanted to scream at her so bad but instead I just walked out until it aired out some.

My mom will NOT be happy about us having another kid, at least not at first. She treats my husband like crap even though he is an amazing husband and father. I think that's the problem, she see's how happy we are and she hates it. She hates all men lol (You know, except for my 4 brothers) -- She will definitely get over it though, she is usually much nicer when I am pregnant haha at least she is to me, and she loves kids so I just have to be brave about it.

It's easy to keep it from everyone else because we are always busy and sometimes it's months before we see family. His family all lives out of state and visits maybe once a year, sometimes once every two years. My brothers are so clueless they probably wouldn't notice until I tell them or once I'm ready to pop -- they will probably just think I got fatter haha and none of them will have anything bad to say, they are all really great guys. My extended family and friends will all be happy for us.

KET - I am so sorry to hear your story. Some mom's you just can't please! XOXO

Joined: 08/11/11
Posts: 262

It hasn't been too hard, but sometimes I find myself almost slipping and saying something to give us away! I think we'll tell after our u/s at 8.5 weeks - that's on 9/12, so not too much longer. I've told a few girlfriends so far, but really just talk to DH about it for now Smile