Sex! or lack thereof. . .

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AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033
Sex! or lack thereof. . .

How is it? Are you having any? How's your sex drive?

DH and I haven't DTD very much since Kole was born. I have absolutely NO sex drive right now and when we do DTD, it's not exactly comfortable. I did not have this issue after DD was born and I'm a little puzzled about having absolutely no desire at all. It's very unusual for me. Anyone else?

KET_2010's picture
Joined: 08/13/11
Posts: 1737

We do it as often as we can lol. But part of that is because DH is gone at least 3-4 days out of the week (leaves early Tuesday and gets back last Friday). So usually, on average we have sex 3-4x a week, although *I* would like a lot more LOL.

Sometimes it doesn't start off very comfortable but then it gets better. We have started having to use condoms though because I'm still not on BC. In order to get the Paraguard (which I'm 99% sure I'm getting since it's non hormonal) I have to be on my period..but I have no idea when I'm going to get it since it's been so out of whack since Des was born.

Up until DH deploys he will be gone like that (he doesn't deploy until some time next year) and he will be gone up to 10 days at a time sometimes and then I think at the beginning of the year he will be gone for a month. So I think a lot of it is to get as much as we can lol.

jhj
Joined: 08/06/11
Posts: 360

Mostly lack thereof here... not so much because of desire as we are just tired by the time it's bedtime. By the time the kids are in bed and the house is "tidied" then I am exhausted and collapse. Now it is just so hot that I can't imagine being that close to another hot person... hopefully soon we will work something out because I know we both miss the connection. Also, after 5 years of trying to get pregnant so not worrying, it is different to be trying not to get pregnant again. It's on my mind and takes some of the fun out of it all.

Heather

mommyof1.5's picture
Joined: 08/06/07
Posts: 897

We are so-so, but mostly because of a busy schedule and dh had shoulder surgery 3 weeks ago. Kind of difficult to maneuver around a stationary shoulder... lol

JBird3010's picture
Joined: 01/21/11
Posts: 404

It's been a bit uncomfortable for me too, it takes a few minutes of um doing it to get in the mood. I'd honestly be perfectly fine not doing it, but my poor DH would probably die. Lol. We do it maybe a couple of times a week, which is far from how many times we used to do it.

Jeffininer's picture
Joined: 11/07/07
Posts: 1796

I feel horrible, we've DTD twice since Tyler was born. I just have NO drive. I told him I'm happy as can be, love him, love our family. I'm just exhausted. Working full time, running after a 4 year old, caring constantly for a demanding 4 month old when I get home from work and ALL night long. DD and Tyler both wanting to touch me...huging, nursing, jumping on....I'm just over it. I don't want to be touched! When I climb into bed I just want to be by myself. But poor DH is just about at his witt's end. I know it, I've got to do something about it. I'm just not the type of person that can force myself to do something I don't want to do. Oh, I'm rambling and sharing WAYYYY too much. But I've had to get this out for a while! I was actually thinking about coming here and asking how it was going for others because I feel so bad...

Joined: 02/10/08
Posts: 485

sex? what is this thing sex?

nothing going on over here... and when I say nothing, I mean NOTHING! No sex in this house since early January! :o In fact, I was just thinking about it this week, and in the last year, I think we've had sex about 3 times...

Granted, the last month before Ella was born, my back was so sore I couldn't move, so at least there was a 'reason' then...

honestly? I think DH just doesn't care... We don't even cuddle or ANYthing! An occasional quick kiss in the morning, or when he comes home from work, and that's it... I've mentioned it several times already, and he just doesn't seem to care...

not a happy woman over here... i've actually been in tears over our lack of a physical relationship several times...

blah...

Joined: 06/15/11
Posts: 611

We haven't actually did since Peyton was born...... It hurts we have tried. My Dr said it could take up to 6 months for me to fully recoup from Peyton's birth..... It is crazy after the other 2 I was back within 2 weeks.

Dixiemom1st's picture
Joined: 09/07/07
Posts: 620

We are at about 1-2x's a week. DH is more interested then I am but that is fairly normal for us, but I have had my moments.

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

"Jeffininer" wrote:

I feel horrible, we've DTD twice since Tyler was born. I just have NO drive. I told him I'm happy as can be, love him, love our family. I'm just exhausted. Working full time, running after a 4 year old, caring constantly for a demanding 4 month old when I get home from work and ALL night long. DD and Tyler both wanting to touch me...huging, nursing, jumping on....I'm just over it. I don't want to be touched! When I climb into bed I just want to be by myself. But poor DH is just about at his witt's end. I know it, I've got to do something about it. I'm just not the type of person that can force myself to do something I don't want to do. Oh, I'm rambling and sharing WAYYYY too much. But I've had to get this out for a while! I was actually thinking about coming here and asking how it was going for others because I feel so bad...

Just about every bit of this describes me!! After being climbed all over all day by a toddler and hauling around a 4month old all day long, the last thing I want is more touching and groping! It's a complete reversal for us because I've always had the higher sex drive, now all of a sudden it's DH that is complaining about the lack of sex. . . granted he is gone, out of town, Monday through Friday. Can't do much when he's 100 miles away!!

Karen, have you told your DH how upset you are about the lack of physical relationship? I know I'm so totally throwing stones in a glass house here, but it sounds like something you needs to have a long conversation about.

Lolkje's picture
Joined: 08/24/09
Posts: 90

I'm mostly too exhausted by the end of the day. We're at the same rate we were when I was pregnant and exhausted. About once a month, twice if DH is really lucky. I'm getting really tired of DD2 waking up 2-3 times per night. And I go back to work on Monday. It's time to start sleep training that girl so I can get some normalcy back. DH misses the normal me terribly.