Toddler bedtime vent

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Lolkje's picture
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Toddler bedtime vent

DH has been in charge of DD1's bedtime since Bree was born. Three nights ago, DD1 learned how to climb out of the crib. Bedtime has been chaos. It took DD1 two hours to settle down the first couple of nights, and more than an hour tonight. The sleeping baby has woken up crying every time. I asked DH if he had a plan for this a couple of weeks ago, and obviously he hasn't other than business as usual. Every time I try to talk about it, he gets all defensive and tries to play the "Maybe I should just go to Starbucks and you can do a better job without me" card. I've been working my butt off to get both girls to bed on my own every Wednesday when he gets home late. I'm sleep deprived and terrified of having to get DD1 to bed by myself two days from now.

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Are you switching DD1 to big bed? How was her bedtime routine before Bree? How is Bree at Maike's bedtime? Can DH take care of her and you work on get dd's routine back? I just know somethings I need to do myself b/c dh's method just doesn't work grr

AnnaRO's picture
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That's rough when they fight bedtime. We had that issue with my DD for about 4 or 5 months. She learned how to climb out of her crib at around 11 months old and then we tried to transfer to a toddler bed around that time. She was already fighting sleep and it was screaming chaos. Luckily, she is now spectacular at bedtime and will go to bed with little prompting.

My point is there will be an end to this. My only advice is consistency. I am very strict about DD's 9pm bedtime, earlier is fine but later is not ever okay. And I make sure to keep her bedtime routine super consistent. She gets her sippy of milk around 8pm and we relax in the recliner and read a book or 10, then when it's just before 9pm we go brush her teeth (which she LOVES to do) and then it's bedtime. I even keep that process super consistent as far has me going to turn the lights off, the fan on and then tucking her in and kissing her and her bears. Every toddler is different and you might need to do something different, but even with that I think you and your DH should come up with a routine you are both comfortable with and then both stick to it. I'm sorry that your DH is being obstinate about it. My DH does that too when something he is doing isn't working with the kids. If I bring it up or suggest something else he gets defensive as if I am calling him a bad parent. I have to be very gentle about bringing up suggestions.

I hope you get it figured out soon so that you can get some rest and some peace.

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I'm sorry you're going through this. My DD2 fights bedtime when she's in trouble or overtired.

I agree to be consistent. Come up with a routine and stick to it. While my husband was training I had a routine where I would get my oldest girls dressed for bed, they would brush, and then we would read a few books and then tuck them in and they would go to sleep.

And if your DH ever offers to go to Starbucks, don't turn that down! Just tell him he better be going there to get you something lol.

It'll get better. This is just one of those rough spots. Smile

Lolkje's picture
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DD1 has been a night owl for over a year now. She plays the "I'm hungry/thirsty/need to potty" game for as long as she can. DH lets her get away with it a lot more than I do. He's sleeping in her room with her on the floor until we can retrieve the big girl bed parts from my folks' house next week. At least he tries to keep her in the room with him so she doesn't bother the baby and me. But he's still forgetful of my preferences. Tonight I told him about a new nightlight in the bathroom, so he can keep the house darker while they brush teeth. He turned on the wall switch anyway. Grr.

Bree is a morning person and needs to go to bed early. It may not work out for them to be roomies, and we'll have to rearrange our whole house when she outgrows the bassinet.

jhj
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If you have a night owl and a morning one... it could also work out perfectly... The morning one goes to bed, and then the night owl sneaks in afterwards, and in the morning the morning one comes out and lets the other one sleep in!! Might be easier than trying to get two to go to bed at the same time, and keeping each other awake talking!

As for the current issue, I'd say give it time... I would think it could take at least a week or two to be used to the idea that you could get up out of bed, and have the novelty wear off so she will just stay in bed. Should also be incentive to stay in bed when her big girl bed gets set up.

Hope it smooths out quickly, and everyone gets more sleep!!

Heather